


Degrees of Innocence

by freckledsatan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Horror, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-02 07:16:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1054007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freckledsatan/pseuds/freckledsatan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Werewolf, otherwise known within the world as a 'Shifter'; Eren is regarded as a monster. A Shifter is a creature with no will of its own, nothing left of the human he once was within his bestial nature. Of course, Eren always had a problem fitting to the norm.<br/>Vampires are common within the world and used within the military, redeemed for their blood consumption by their strength, speed and ability to protect from the creatures known only as 'horrors' bombarding the city of Trost.<br/>Levi is a Vampire that hates Vampires.<br/>Eren is a Shifter that defies all logic.<br/>This is a story about different meanings to right and wrong.<br/>Differing degrees of innocence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three Years Earlier

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it. This is my first uploaded fic and my username was a joke to myself that I actually accidentally submitted. Congratulations, me.

**Prologue**

 

Eren had always suspected that he’d die young. After all, wasn’t that what always happened to the bad guy in the fairy tales that he, Armin and Mikasa would read in the quiet hush of the eve? The bad guy wreaked havoc, killed the innocent and fired through his own course; while the good guy would always inevitably slay his evil foe and restore peace to the land once again in a wild blaze of glory.  
That’s what happened, that’s what was always destined to happen. The good guy would get showered in recognition and the bad guy would go unforgotten, loved by none.  
Why couldn’t it be that easy? Eren would prefer it that way, to not have someone clinging to his prone form and wishing him to take a breath, shaking him by the bloodied shoulders and pressing their forehead to his.  
Nothing ever worked out right in the end, but nothing ever worked out badly either, he supposed. That was something this mismatched world had taught him at the very least. Things end, now that’s a guarantee. But that makes the beginnings all that more potent and endings all that more scary. And fairy tales? Fairy tales will earn you a rueful laugh and a short story from a boy that was always destined to die young.

 

 

**~~~**

 

 

The city was always cold. It’s something that every citizen had noticed and something every citizen had elected to ignore.

Eren didn’t ignore it, it was hard to ignore the cold when it wormed its way into your bones and pierced you better than any blade ever could. Eren noticed everything, he was good at that. He noticed the cats going missing down the road after old man Cartwright opened up a butchers. He noticed the scent of lavender oil in the air every time his mother knew his father was coming home. He noticed the light sprinkling of freckles Armin developed over his nose and cheeks every time the sun touched him. He noticed the way Mikasa would huddle her nose into her scarf every time she blushed.

When a black cloud descended over the city and a dark mist crept its way on to the streets, Eren was the first to notice; and the last to ignore it.  
Sat on the concrete steps up to his house, Eren rested his head nonchalantly on his hand, elbow digging into his thigh just enough to keep him from falling asleep. The day had been relatively uneventful aside from people hurriedly walking up and down the street, casting him wary glances on their way. It was cold and Eren was a fourteen year old with no reason to simply be watching people go about their daily business, but there you have it.

This was what Eren’s life was reduced to once he was left alone. His mother was cooking dinner for his father (recently home from a three month trip) and Mikasa had nipped out to fetch Armin, leaving Eren to help his mother cook. Only, his mother had shooed him away bemusedly after he dropped his second plate on the floor and so now here he was. Sat on some steps, scaring passers by with his bizarre lack of social grace.  
He wasn’t going to lie to himself, he was glad for the peace. His mother had been getting repeated bouts of flu like symptoms that wouldn’t seem to leave her be and he had been becoming increasingly worried at her frailty but now his father was home everything would be okay, his father was an esteemed doctor that travelled around to tend to his work, if anyone could cure her, it would be him. His father worked away from home a lot, and Eren saw less of him than his mother appreciated but Eren didn’t particularly mind. He worked with his father where he could but otherwise he wasn’t particularly close to the man. His mother had broached the topic of Eren following in Grisha’s footsteps as a doctor on many occasions but admittedly, Eren wasn’t taken by the idea. Doctors just seemed to be so calm all of the time, so composed. Eren wasn’t really like that at all, he’d prefer to join the ramshackle military at least then he could do something with himself.

The world in which they lived was dark, filled to the brim with terrors and fraught with horrors a plenty. Their city had a large, wooden wall built around it; if you could even call it a wall. It was constructed of thick wooden stakes latched on to each other, reaching up to 30 ft tall. There hadn’t been an incident in well over fifty years and people were even beginning to venture beyond the safety of the city without the need for armed escorts.

Their city just seemed to attract the horrors for some reason, Father said that other cities didn’t even need a wall and that just seemed plain silly to Eren. But things were getting better, steadily, the horrors had subsided and perhaps their city could actually be free of them entirely one day. The military didn’t even feel the need for Vampires anymore. Eren was glad for that, not that he had anything against Vampires (Mikasa being a Half blood and all), they just seemed unnecessary when Humans were capable of doing the job just as well. Vampires had heightened senses, speed, extra strength and their ability to sense other supernatural beings was also handy but sometimes Eren just thought the need for monthly allowances of blood from Humans was just kind of...Strange. And if you deprive Vampires of blood for any length of time they turn just as bad as the horrors they’re meant to be protecting the people from until they drain some poor unsuspecting person dry and then get away for it, the crime being passed off as ‘simple military error’. Half bloods possessed basically the same abilities as Vampires. With a huff Eren thanked his stars that they didn’t need to drink blood.

He must have nodded off at some point because Eren was awoken with a jolt by fat raindrops splashing against his cheek and a wave of distinct unease passing through his chest. He couldn’t describe the odd tension in the air, more potent than that of the startings of a storm. It was as if the world itself had shifted and left Eren alone in its wake. With a small yawn, Eren rubbed his hand over his eyes. The rain was beginning to come down heavy now, drowning out all other noise like the beating of drums. The water cascaded down his face and hair, soaking him to the bone. He didn’t mind, of course he didn’t mind, the rain felt good, it was normal, it was natural. Right? No, something was definitely marring the feeling of calm that had fled the scene.  
He got to his feet, rolling his shoulders once and breathing in heavily. How long had he been out here, anyway? Shouldn’t Mikasa and Armin be here by now? His wet hair sat heavily against his forehead as he turned to the house, for that matter why hadn’t his mother called him in yet? She wouldn’t usually tolerate him being out in the rain like this.

He was on the verge of turning to his house when people started screaming. Eren had heard screaming before, kids screaming at each other in a game of hide and seek or women screeching to each other if they caught sight of a rat on the street. But this screaming was the type that chilled you down to the bone and caused your heart to seize up in your chest. There weren’t many words that Eren could use to describe it, really. It’s just one of those things that you would have to hear for yourself in order to appreciate it to its full potential. As it was, it set Eren running in its direction. Someone was obviously very badly injured or was getting attacked or something equally as hideous. Through it all, he still couldn’t shake the nauseous feeling that followed him as he set a pace sprinting over the grey, cobbled streets. Eren never was one for standing back and letting the action pan out without him.  
Men were shouting, a noise was bubbling up all around him as people poked their heads out of their windows and stepped out on to the streets in a blur as Eren raced past them.

He got to the end of the street before he was stopped by a guard, the man looking simultaneously red in the cheeks and pale as sin as he grasped Eren firmly by the shoulder to stop the boy in his tracks. With a start, Eren realised he knew the man. His name was Hannes, his father had cured his family of a sickness years ago.  
“Eren?-” Hannes was panting, the man had obviously also been running, but away from the sound of screaming?  
“Mr Hannes? Why are you-”  
“No, listen here Eren, get back to your house, get your mother and sister and lock the doors and windows, the military will take care of this.” and with that Hannes set off running again, turning back to Eren once more as he set off down the street, “Do as you’re told Eren! Go, now!”  
Eren stood there in the rain a moment longer, he hadn’t realised that he had been shaking until he folded his arms tightly to his chest. He willed it to stop, for the ominous feeling to leave him be.

Another scream pierced the uneasy silence that followed as more people filed on to the street, an eerie hush giving way to more screaming, guards soon filed on to the scene in order to direct the citizens back to their homes, just as Hannes had warned him. The men looked panicked, Eren could even swear that some of them had blood on their uniforms. Deterred from heading towards the source of the screaming, Eren decided that he needed to find Mikasa and Armin to make sure that they were okay.  
His legs ached from sprinting and dodging as more and more people emerged to assess the commotion, whispering in hushed confusion as the boy dived past them. It was becoming harder and harder for the guards to get them back inside, people simply demanding answers the more they were urged in. Frankly, Eren didn’t blame them. What was going on? Why were people screaming? Why were the guards trying to get people into their homes? Why did some of the guards have blood on their uniforms?

Armin’s house was towards the sound of the screaming and Eren’s head was spinning with anxiety the closer he got. A couple of guardsmen tried to grab him, prevent him from continuing but Eren barreled ahead. His sister could not only take care of herself, but Armin too. At least he could comfort himself with this much as he splashed through the steadily forming puddles and through the dizzying maze of streets. There were less guards towards the centre of the city, in fact, the further in he went, the less people he saw. The screaming had even stopped. The unease in his belly clawed its way up to his chest and it was then that he realised the body slumped in the corner of an alleyway next to Armin’s house.

He took a step forward, puddle splashing against his boot and staining it red. He almost gagged as the full picture revealed itself to him. There was blood everywhere, too much to be washed away by the rain, too much to not seep down the streets and mar the grey of the cobbles. He wanted to be sick, the raw reek of death penetrating the air and finding its way into his lungs. He threw an arm over his mouth and nose, stepping hesitantly forward. He wished half heartedly that the slumped body would just be someone he didn’t know, someone had just fainted. It was a stupid hope, but there it was all the same. He needed to look. He couldn’t just leave without knowing whose body that was. It was these thoughts that inched Eren steadily closer to the alley ahead of him, where the man was propped up against a wall, blood smeared up the sides next to him.

Eren would later come to have the chance to reflect on his bad decisions. This was most certainly one of them. Approaching a bloodied body in a curiously empty part of the city, blood splattering the walls like macabre paint. He didn’t realise that the killer might still be around, not until the very moment that he caught sight of the man’s face. It was Armin’s grandfather. Eren had known him all his life, the man had offered him a paternal kindness when he himself had lacked his father, offered him comfort and stories with Armin up until the crack of dawn. The face once crinkled with smile lines was agape in terror, frozen in a silent scream, eyes glazed over and midriff torn to bloody shreds.

Eren couldn’t move. He wanted to throw up, he wanted to run away back to his mother and father, he wanted to find Mikasa and Armin and never let them out of his sight again. What he got instead was a sharp pain stabbing through his arm and a blood curdling shriek from behind him.

Whipping around, he clutched his arm with a surprised yelp of pain, blood trickling down to the floor, through his closed fingers as the stab wound pulsed with heat and agony.  
He came face to face with a terror that he doubted he would ever truly forget. His first horror. It had no eyes and yet possessed the humanoid form typical of their kind. It’s skin was bland grey, twisted around its form like melted wax sewn on to a corpse. It had a mouth that stretched vertically over its head and in the place of hands were long, saw like blades. Made of what seemed to be jagged bone.

The creature shrieked again as it moved to plunge a blade into his torso. Eren was too slow. But a certain sister was not. Mikasa surged in seemingly out of nowhere with the same silent grace she always possessed when faced with a fight. The horror was on the floor before Eren had even processed what exactly had happened.  
Next thing he knew, Mikasa had grabbed his hand and was sprinting away at full speed to the point that Eren was finding it hard to keep up with her. His heart was beating in his ears thumping with a pulse that made him dizzy and he stumbled slightly, just enough for Mikasa to notice and forcefully throw him over her shoulder and continue on at a faster pace than before. Eren was too shell shocked to even care, let alone struggle. His arms hung loosely as he watched his own blood drop on to the pavement as Mikasa ran.  
Eren’s mouth was dry and his voice cracked as he whispered, “Where’s Armin?”  
“Home.”  
And that was the end of the conversation.  
Eren was drowsy for most of the journey home, black spots filled his vision every now and then, so he’d just allow his mind to close down for a couple of moments. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing when he was conscious. Bodies were lining the streets, more than before, there was gore everywhere. People were running in terror. Screaming and shrieking, both natural and unnatural alike filled the air. Guards were doing their best against the horrors, but only just holding their own. The only soldiers that truly seemed to be making progress were the Vampires and Half bloods, cutting through the horrors at abnormal speeds. He’d be dead if it wasn’t for Mikasa. This was the end of the world. He allowed a weak sob to pass through his lips as he took in the carnage before losing consciousness again.

When he opened his eyes it took a moment to realise that someone was shouting. No, people were shouting. But they weren’t the same shouts as those he’d heard in the city, the memory slipping through his head like a bad dream. These shouts were angry. He was inside, the familiar ceiling to his kitchen baring down on him, he was lying on the window seat, the pillows offering little comfort against the solid wood. His head was still swimming, trying to suss out his situation as something was plunged into his already injured arm, stunning him into wakefulness with a surprised exclamation. He tried to pull his arm back, but a vice-like grip kept it steady. Eren’s wild eyes found his attacker, it was his father. He was injecting some bizarre fluid into Eren’s arm and it hurt.

It felt like his body was being filled with acid as he began flailing and kicking about. Throat too hoarse to allow anything other than dry shouts and yelping.  
His mother’s voice penetrated the pain, “Grisha, no!” she was trying to pull his father away but his grip remained until all of the clear fluid was gone from the syringe.  
“I’m so sorry, Carla. I’m so sorry…” His father kept repeating it, those same apologies again and again, his voice breaking over his words.

Eren’s vision was flickering madly, he felt like he was freezing, his body was chattering out of control, Armin and Mikasa were at his side, Armin was crying, but he was aware of little else aside from the anguished and terrified gasps and sobs from his best friend. Was Mikasa trying to hold him down? He thought he heard his mother crying. When the convulsions ceased, he dropped out of consciousness for the umpteenth time that day.  
“Eren? Eren! You have to wake up, we need to go and Mikasa can’t carry you anymore! Come on! Wake up!”  
Armin’s voice shattered the blissful abyss of dark void that had crept into Eren’s mind with a painful jolt. He felt wrong, as if he’d suddenly been placed into someone else’s body. His mind was reeling with past events and he just wanted to stay down.  
“Nnn...Armin?”  
“Eren? Get up! Move! Now!” That was Mikasa for sure, she sounded strange. Had she been crying?  
Eyelids flickering open, he took in his surroundings. They were….outside of the wall. He jolted up then from the grass he’d been lying in. They had taken shelter in a small copse of trees just away from the city. Plumes of smoke were rising from said city and screams still carried on the wind made the hairs on Eren’s neck prickle and stand on end.  
“Why is the screaming still so loud?” Eren groaned, rubbing at his ears with his uninjured arm, cursing under his breath at the rate it was taking for his brain to catch up with everything. He just felt so sluggish.  
They were silent for a moment as Mikasa stared at him with raised eyebrows but it was Armin that spoke first with a confused expression plastered on his face still shiny with dried tears.  
“What screams?”  
“Eren…” Mikasa faltered, picking up his injured arm and unwrapping the shabby bandaging that Eren hadn’t even noticed was there.  
Eren double taked. His wound was gone, the stab wound had completely healed. But in its place was a strange patterning of lines, like tiny scars casting a cobweb of silk drifting from the centre where his father had injected the strange liquid. Eren could barely remember the event, it was as if his mind was trying to shut it out completely.  
“I wasn’t sure before, I thought I could sense something different from you but I thought it must have been from the horrors in the streets...”  
Armin turned to her, blonde hair flicking outwards “Mikasa? What’s that supposed to mean? What’s going on, I don’t understand..”  
Then it truly hit Eren, something that had seemed so important, something that had been nagging at the back of his mind finally leapt free.  
“Mikasa….Where’s mother?”  
Mikasa and Armin fell instantly silent, both of them dropping their heads in guilt.  
“Eren-”  
“Where’s mother?” Eren repeated, harder this time.  
“She- She didn’t make it out of the city, she told us to take you and run- we had to, everyone was dying. Horrors were flooding in there was nothing else we could’ve done, she wanted me to save you, I had to save you.”  
It was the on flood of emotions that triggered it; that first time. The rush of chemicals to the brain that triggered the new toxin there accidentally. It was still new to Eren, he didn’t even realise what had happened until it had happened.

The liquid in that needle was a refined version of a hated disease fraught with suspicion, the victims dubbed as ‘Shifters’.  
Except that the Shifters usually only shifted under the influence of a monthly cycle.  
Eren was the exception, of course he was, he was just lucky that way.  
Shifters were also usually uncontrollable, savage, vicious once in their shifted form (which was most commonly a very large, very powerful take on a wolf) and so Mikasa reacted quickly, grabbing Armin and shoving him behind her.

They wouldn’t be able to outrun the creature even if they had wanted to. But the beast simply stared at them with confused, baleful turquoise eyes that shook Mikasa to her core upon realising their familiarity. The beast stood to its full height and just whined lowly, lowering its head and eyes to the floor, legs and shoulders shaking pitifully. Wolves couldn’t cry, but if they could Mikasa was sure that this is what it would look like. Eren had just lost his mother and his father both. Armin must have realised this fully first because he stepped around Mikasa and hesitantly forward.  
“Eren...Oh god, Eren...I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry…”  
Mikasa froze in place for a split second as Armin approached the wolf and wrapped his arms around its neck, burying his face into his fur, shoulders shaking as they were wracked with choked sobs and muffled apologies for those they had lost.  
And this was the start of a second life for a Half Blood, a newly turned Shifter and a Human with no family but each other and no place to call home.

 

This was the start of a warped journey.


	2. Present Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's half three in the morning and I'm so, so tired right now. Hope you enjoy. I'm kind of astonished at the amount of attention it's gotten already or is that normal? I don't know, I'm new to this site...but people are reading it and that just makes me really happy, okay.

They called it a day of reckoning. Eren called it a military fuck up. A military fuck up that had ruined not only his life, no; he wouldn’t care if it were just his life. But Armin’s and Mikasa’s and a ton of other people’s too. This was stupidity, the military were there for protection and had they protected the people? No. Most of them had, in fact, fled in terror rather than face the horrors up close.

“Stupid, stupid…” Eren huffed, kicking the dust up around his feet in the shabby basement he resided in. After the event, the Military had hastily backtracked on their morals and ideas against Vampires, before the public even knew what was happening eighty percent of the military were suddenly Vamps and those that refused the changing were ‘gracefully’ discharged.

It was a shambles. It was a shambles before but this? This was…

“Stupid. Fucking stupid.” Eren finished for himself out loud.  
“Oh, get over it already.” Mikasa chuckled quietly in the corner of the room, flicking through the yellowing pages of an old book she had found somewhere.  
“I can’t!” Eren whined, running a hand through his hair and stomping over to her, sitting down on the floor, having no where else to seat himself seeing as the only piece of furniture in the old room was a rotting armchair -which Mikasa had already claimed-.  
“Armin can do what he likes and you know it.”  
“But it’s so dangerous.”  
“But hiding out in abandoned buildings with a Shifter and a Half blood isn’t.”

Eren growled softly, fidgeting with a stray piece of worn, red cotton from the chair, “That’s not fair, we’re perfectly safe, we’re not going to kill him, this could kill him, this could-”  
Mikasa shut her book with a loud clap, smacking Eren lightly upside the head with it.  
“Calm down, silly. He’ll be fine.”

After the event three years ago, discovering that he was a Shifter had made a tricky situation even worse. It had taken the Military several months to completely get rid of the horrors in and surrounding the city, repair the broken wall and clear the bodies off the streets.

The trio had managed to survive outside of the wall just up until the military cleared the worst of the horrors away. Apparently they weren’t the only ones. A fair few people had taken refuge outside of the city, it was lucky Eren hadn’t been spotted in his shifted form at all if he were to be honest. He shivered thinking of that first time, human one minute on four paws the next plus the news of his mother- But it didn’t bode well to dwell on that particular memory, so he quickly passed on to something else.  
He hummed softly, “Mikasa?”  
“Yes?”  
“Why do you think the horrors are so drawn to the city?”  
she paused, tucking her legs underneath her and huddling her face into the scarf Eren had given her with a small sigh.  
“I don’t know.” She admitted, musing on the idea for a minute, “I suppose we could guess at it, but that wouldn’t get us anywhere.”  
“It’s just strange, you know? I mean, we’re right in the middle of nowhere here and Armin says that the other cities aren’t even affected by them.”  
“The other cities are _very_ far away. We may just live in a cruel part of the world.” She shrugs and gets up out of the chair, stretching her arms up over her head and yawning quietly.

she half smiled over at him, “I’m going to get food.”  
he always responded with the same thing when confronted with that phrase “Can I come?”  
and she replied in kind “No.” before leaving the building, and Eren alone.

He was stuck in these prisons, probably always would be. All he was anymore was a glorified caged animal. Emphasis on that last part.  
Eren rubbed his hand over his eyes, half wishing that there was a window, even a small one in here. Anything besides 3 lamely flickering candles. You only seem to miss the small things when they’re taken away.

It’s because the Vampires and Half bloods could sense the supernatural. That’s how Mikasa had been able to react so quickly when he had shifted and why the sudden burst of Vampires in the army patrolling the streets, meant Eren couldn’t go outside all that often. One sniff of a Shifter and Eren would be executed on the spot. He wouldn’t even be able to explain himself, Shifters are just too much of a threat.

Armin had been studying into his condition (of course he had, Eren didn’t know where he’d be today if it wasn’t for Armin’s diligence in the matter). Apparently Eren was what you’d class as a Pure Shifter: The disease wasn’t transmitted through bite, his shifted form was a wolf and said wolf actually looked wolfen. Not twisted and deformed like other Shifters were. Armin had said that he suspected it had something to do with purity of heart and morals but Eren honestly couldn’t care less. All he knew was that he could turn into a giant wolf whenever he felt like it and though the ability to protect Armin and Mikasa was a blessing, it was also a curse that he didn’t want.

He felt tainted. His own father had tainted him- put him in the same court as the horrors that had killed his mother. Thinking of his mother’s disappearance, he’d never gotten the full details on that. Mikasa refused to tell him and Armin just shook his head sadly if ever approached with the matter. It was frustrating but something told him not to push it. If the angry gleam that crept into Mikasa’s eyes or the way Armin would ball his fists nervously was any indication at all.

Another thing he had noticed with the disease was that he felt the need to move all the time, to get up and run around or pace the room or just generally fidget. It would drive Armin up the wall when he was studying but Eren really couldn’t help it. He had a feeling that it wouldn’t be so bad if he were let outside more often but as it was it kind of drove him insane. It was like an itch that he couldn’t scratch- buried under his skin. It made it worse now, knowing Armin might be in danger.  
Because Armin had gone to join the military. Not as an official recruit, just as an apprentice to the record keeper at the military library. Armin reckoned if he had access to books about horrors and how they came to be, he’d be able to help Eren further. Just like Armin, putting himself in danger to help his friend.

Eren didn’t like it. He had this gnawing feeling at the bottom of his stomach. He paused. He hadn’t even realised that he had been pacing back and forth. Hell, he hadn’t even noticed that he had gotten up at all. This could all go horribly wrong. What if they wanted to turn Armin into a Vampire? Wasn’t that the general rule for joining the military nowadays? There’s nothing technically wrong with vampires but it would mean Armin was chained to the military as they were the only ones with legal access to a supply of blood.

What if they could somehow tell Armin had been consorting with a Shifter? Could that happen? Eren ran his hands through his hair, groaning loudly as he came to a halt, dust billowing up from the floor. They hadn’t been here long, they hadn’t even had time to clean the place. There were plenty of abandoned buildings in the old quarter of the city (the place that had received the worst of the horror attacks). People were superstitious, wouldn’t live there anymore. Which meant plenty of hide outs for them. They had to keep moving, a new place every few months (maybe less if people started getting suspicious).

Mikasa and he were joined at the hip and he’d learned a couple of years ago not to ask her to leave for his sake unless he actively wanted a split lip. But Armin? Armin was the first to volunteer to search for a cure, the first to want to help Eren feel human again. The first to discover new places to live, but he was still human. There was still hope for Armin, but instead of leaving- going to find a new family or start his own. He stayed. Eren couldn’t understand it. Armin might die because of Eren and he just couldn’t deal with that thought.

The thought of Armin ending up like his grandfather.

It made Eren furious, a heat bubbling up in his stomach warned him that if he didn’t calm down quickly he’d soon be pacing on four limbs. Usually, he had to hurt himself to trigger the shift but sometimes it came on naturally. Especially nearer a full moon.  
But a tickling sensation in his nose stopped him before he could consider calming himself.  
Dust must have found its way up to his face and he sniffed loudly. He couldn’t help but scrunch his features up slightly before a particularly loud and violent sneeze broke forth and almost shook the very foundations of the house.

He stood there in silence for a second, rubbing at his nose with his sleeve.

Reflecting on his life choices.

“Okay, I need to get out of here.”

He scribbled a hasty note of apology for Mikasa explaining that he had to get out of the house. If only for a little while in order to retain what little sanity he still possessed. She’d kill him when he got back but maybe a run outside of the wall would clear his head of this situation with Armin. Essentially he didn’t want his friend to get hurt. Because that’s what always seemed to happen around him. People got hurt, people died.

Swallowing hard, he paced out of the room and up the darkened stairs. Eren could safely say that they’d all had a gruelling three years and he couldn’t see a light at the end of this tunnel. Not for him, not for Mikasa. Armin had a chance. He just couldn’t comprehend why he’d want to stay. Eren loved him like a brother and he knew that Armin reciprocated those feelings but...

Shaking his head, Eren found himself at the rickety old door, barely hanging off its rusted hinges. He took a deep breath as he swung it open and stepped over the threshold, using a hand to shield his face from the sun. He supposed to anyone else, it wouldn’t seem all that bright, all that warm. But to a seventeen year old boy that counted himself as more animal than human, who was trapped inside 24/7; To see the sun, to watch your breath billow out in frosty clouds, to take in the scents and sounds carried on the breeze, it was such an onrush of feeling and emotion that it made Eren want to grin madly and wash all his worries away.

After looking up and down the street once or twice, Eren took off. He had to be careful not to draw an unnecessary amount of attention to himself while also getting out of the city as quickly as possible simultaneously avoiding the city guard and military. It was a hard task but something Eren had gotten relatively good at in the past few years or so. He huddled into his cardigan, a meager protection from the cold but it was better than anything else. Besides, if all went to plan he would soon have a thick coat of fur to warm him up.

Pace set at a half jog, he allowed himself to stare around as he made his way through the streets. The smell of a bakery made his aching stomach growl in protest but he continued past, inching through a small crowd of customers lining outside of the shop. A man cried town news in the streets, handing out papers to anyone with spare money in their pockets,  
“The Slasher Strikes Again!” was blazed across the paper today and Eren was half tempted to grab an issue. Pausing to rummage in his pockets for spare change but coming up empty. He wasn’t really all that surprised, he hadn’t really any need to carry money, afterall.  
“The infamous Slasher strikes again, this time taking three victims’ lives in another brutal night time murder!” The crier bellowed, offering out papers to the smattering of interested bystanders.  
Whispers were resounding in Eren’s ears as he shook his head and carried on jogging. “Do you think it could be those awful horrors again?”  
“Nah, those things ain’t even smart enough to hide out after killin’ things, if it was them we’d know about it and there’d be more dead folk...But I’m tellin’ you, whatever’s doin’ the killin’ sure ain’t human, now that’s a fact.”

At least the mystery kept Eren’s mind occupied as he ploughed on through the streets, hastily turning off into alleys and ducking behind buildings if he ever caught the telltale scent of a soldier patrolling or guards on duty. He half wondered as the bystanders had if it could have been a horror. By the sounds of things, it killed like one. Still, perhaps Armin would know more about it. Armin tended to know everything.

Soon enough, he’d reached the wall of stakes, sharper and more intimidating than ever. After the slip in security that happened three years ago and the sudden and terrifying influx of horrors the military had busied themselves with wall maintenance. He, Armin and Mikasa had spent weeks memorising patrols along the wall just in case anything ever did come up and they all needed to escape in a hurry. It was a wednesday and judging by the positioning of the sun, about four o’clock. Usually he’d need to wait until sundown and the short space in which lookouts exchanged shifts in order to get out but he just wasn’t in the patient mood today and decided to try his luck that very moment.

The front entrance was to his right, he was crouched as it was between two buildings, back to the wall. There was inner scaffolding all along it, allowing soldiers clear access up for shots at the horrors from at the top. Eren could, if he was particularly careful, scramble up the scaffolding and get up and over the wall before anyone was the wiser, shifting mid drop to protect himself from the fall. But that wouldn’t be an option right now, the soldiers might catch a glimpse of him and then what? They’d be on high alert and he’d get not only himself killed but most likely Armin and Mikasa too. Sighing heavily he resigned himself to the idea that this, perhaps, wasn’t such a good idea afterall-

“Hey, you, stand up slowly and put your hands on your head before I blow your brains out.”

Eren froze, dread creeping in and prickling his skin with fear as he slowly did as the voice commanded. How had he been so fucking stupid? So deep in thought that he hadn’t heard somebody sneak up from his left. He turned to look at his attacker, only to find himself staring down the barrel of a gun. He half wanted to close his eyes, to will it all away but the other half started shaking with fury. Anger was good, anger would get him out of these situations no matter how hard they got.  
“The fuck even are you, I’ve never felt so weird around anything before.” the soldier huffed. He sounded young. Obviously a fairly new recruit, maybe around Eren’s age and definitely a Vampire.  
Eren tested his luck, “H-Human, I’m human.”  
The soldier scoffed loudly, “Yes and I’m a vegetarian vampire.”  
Eren glared, of course his luck would run out eventually, of course it would. Plus, to make matters worse, he’d brought it completely on himself. The soldier lowered his rifle just slightly so that it was facing Eren’s heart rather than his head.

The boy in front of him, was around Eren’s age with a fair undercut and dark eyebrows, one raised in a bored sort of confusion, amber eyes laced with the typical Vampire red staring at him with curiosity.  
“No, really, I’m not sure whether I should just kill you, isn’t that general procedure for something you’ve never come across before?”  
Eren couldn’t help gulping as he lowered his eyes. The kid was wearing the typical uniform of the Inner guard, all black jacket with the front sealed by rounded silver buttons, an off green shirt just visible under it. White trousers tucked into knee high boots, secured with neatly polished buckles and the Wings of Freedom patch on the front pocket of the coat to finish off the outfit. It was actually quite an intimidating look. The clothes looked warm as well and Eren would’ve been envious if the bastard wasn’t pointing a gun at his chest. He supposed he was lucky that the soldier didn’t know what he was, else he’d probably be dead by now.

“What are you?” The soldier repeated again after a moment.  
“Bored.” Eren snapped back, glaring into the eyes of his -now slightly more pissed off- opposer.

Just as he was regretting opening his mouth, a voice sounded behind the soldier, a brunette with a dashing of freckles across his face -and almost certainly human- joining his side  
“Hey, Jean, what’s going on here?”  
Jean looked briefly distracted and Eren seized his opportunity, barreling past the two of them and high jumping it up on to the scaffolding, hoisting himself up from a hanging position and dashing over to a ladder leading up on to the next platform, leaving the distressed cries and warning shouts from the soldiers below as more were alerted to his presence.

Adrenaline spiked through his veins and a little voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Mikasa scolded him for almost *enjoying* the experience. He actually felt kind of alive as he hauled himself up at top speed up the ladders, hoping to reach the highest level and skirt around the top of the wall before dropping back into the city and finding a large crowd to throw the soldiers off his scent.

But finally reaching the top level everything came to a standstill. Suddenly he found himself almost surrounded. There were soldiers on either side of him, soldiers below him and soldiers still climbing their way up and in front of him a huge drop. A female toting a rifle approached him first, her auburn hair swinging around her shoulders in the breeze.  
“Take it nice and easy or we’ll be forced to shoot.”  
A man barged on to the scene, to Eren’s dismay everyone here seemed to be Vampires. “Fuck that, Petra! Just shoot him now, can’t you tell what he fucking is?”  
The female soldier -Petra- took a second furrowing her brows slightly before her brown eyes widened in shock.  
The man spoke again before she was able to, “The kid’s a fucking Shifter, now if you’re not going to put a bullet in him before he turns- I will.” The large man went to grab a gun and two things happened at once.

One, a breeze swept by Eren, a strong scent of calm carried on the air as he stopped staring at the soldiers and out into the open grasslands and forests stretching out as far as the eye could see, feet inching closer to the edge, interrupted only by the sharpened tips of the stakes.

And two, Eren jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story's still unrolling and you haven't even encountered my plot yet but we're getting there, expect longer chapters and Levi coming up next time~


	3. Fated to Meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something short and snappy to tide you all over until I get college out of the way the next three days or so. I'll be writing longer chapters, I swear. So far these have all been preps. Just you wait until the plot hits!

Free falling was something that he’d admittedly not expected to experience when he had stepped out of the house earlier, but there he was, falling to the sounds of soldiers exclaiming in a mixture of anger and surprised panic. His hair and clothes whipping around him as time itself seemed to slow down against his descent, the ground inching closer and closer as he closed his eyes and allowed the change to take him.

A sudden rush of colour and sound; a complete momentary sensory white out and just like that, Eren was no longer the seventeen year old boy with a mop of messy hair but a giant beast of a wolf with a gaping maw and claws designed for killing. The height from which he had jumped from was too large a height even for a Vampire to survive but landing on four muscle bound legs Eren allowed himself to tumble with the meeting of the ground just slightly before getting up and shaking his coat free from dirt. Hearing the whistle of a bullet he dodged to the side, surprisingly agile for such a large creature. Instinctually flattening his ears against his skull, Eren turned his muzzle up to the soldiers briefly, wondering if he would ever be able to convince them of his docility before another bullet whistled his way and he growled lowly, taking off towards the forest, paws beating the ground in a steady motion as the wind sailed through his fur.

Eren came to the conclusion that they would most likely send a team after him shortly and so he sped on further, veering in erratic patterns in order to through off potential trackers. Everything seemed so much more alive when in his shifted form, the grass softer, the world louder. It wouldn't be so bad if not for the dark sense of dread that crept up to him as soon as he hit the dense line of trees. This forest was absolutely  _fraught_ with horrors. That thought there had him skidding to a halt, hackles raised as he came to a slow stop, claws digging in to the damp ground.  He lowered himself on to his haunches, panting loudly. For the first time he noticed how achy his entire body felt and with a huff he realised that the fall must have hit him harder than he originally supposed. Military behind him and horrors in front; Eren was stuck between and rock and a hard place in this position. He sat there for a moment longer, shoulders rising and falling with each pant, aches steadily increasing the more he sat around. 

He hadn't meant for this to happen, all he had wanted was to go outside. He just didn't want to be inside anymore and now due to his stupidity he may have just jeopardised the lives of the only two people in the world that meant anything to him anymore. The sounds of shouting punctured the sense of dread behind him and he turned to watch the soldiers making their way forward just before steeling his initiative and ploughing on into the forest. The least he could do now was keep himself alive. For their sakes, he had to keep himself alive. His mother died because he wasn't there to protect her. She had died because he'd been to weak to do a fucking thing. He hadn't even been  _conscious_.

_'I never got to say goodbye.'_

An anguished whine escaped his mouth and he accelerated his speed. Why  was he thinking about this now? Now was  _not_  the time to be distracted. Distractions were what got him caught in the first place.

The forest seemed to be closing in around him, hulking black trees and an eerie lingering mist bit with chill at his muzzle and ears as he slowed just slightly. Picking up a familiar scent, he managed to dive to the side before the horror struck. Wolven instincts kicking in as he turned on the creature. This wasn't the first horror he'd seen since those three years ago but the feeling of hopelessness and terror never quite faded when you came face to face with one. Its malformed body twisted around to him, crawling on all fours, limbs gruesomely imitating a creature with four legs to support its body as it scuttled over and dived at him, twisted mouth exposing sharply pointed, blackened teeth. It clawed its way on to his back, hands digging into his fur as it bit into his shoulder. He howled in fury as he quickly rolled on to his back, mashing the creature under his weight, feeling bones crush beneath him as he pummeled it into the ground with all his strength. With a sickening crunch and half hearted screech, the horror went limp and Eren got back on to his feet with a soft whine as he felt blood beginning to matt up his fur.

The thing had bitten right into his upper shoulder and god, did it hurt. 

More shrieking pierced the hush that followed the fight, a chain of screeching that left Eren shaking as it surrounded him, creatures on all sides shrieking in unison before everything went silent and Eren was left with his hackles raised and ears flattened, head lowered threateningly. Not that the horrors would care. 

He needed to get out of the forest, it was beginning to get dark and the horrors were far more powerful out of the sunlight. 

Looking for an exit, he turned westward, pelting forward through the undergrowth, brambles and thorns pulling and tearing fur along the way, catching at him like fingers trying to pull him back. If he hadn't been forced through the forest by those damned soldiers, he could've skirted around. But now he didn't know where he was. Even the scents in the air were muddled up by the horrors unseen but most likely closing in on him, biding time for the moment that the sun set and Eren was left alone.

A shifter was an incredibly powerful creature.

But against an entire hoard of horrors? 

He had no chance.

They were dangerous creatures at the end of the day, coming in many different shapes and sizes, different attack styles. They were unpredictable and that's what made them so deadly. They also came in classes, occasionally if you were unlucky enough, you might stumble across a Demon. Demons are the ultimate horror, stronger, deadlier, a foe not to be underestimated. Eren hadn't ever seen one and he thanked his lucky stars every day for that. 

He continued on running, gaining pace as he buried the pain of his bruises and bite wounds to the back of his head, musing on the types of horrors. He knew a fair few Demons had appeared on the day everything had gone balls up; they had done the worst damage. Eren had been so lucky that day, running through the streets. So lucky he hadn't been killed then and there. Even in his shifted form, the scoffing noise he made sounded about right. _Lucky_ was a strange word to use for that situation.

The sound of shouting threw him off course. It had just gotten dark. Someone was shouting.

Cocking his head, he listened intently, breathing pausing in order for silence to completely fall.

Someone was shouting...Profanity.

He froze there, ears pricked as the forest fell still again. There were no birds, no wildlife. But then again, that was average for the forests, there were too many horrors near the walls for wildlife to want to come anywhere near here. Thanks to that lack of sound, it was easy for Eren to pinpoint the sound of fighting and whoever it was, whatever they were fighting; it was big. He wondered briefly how he hadn't found his way out of the forest yet. He wondered if the horror bite on his shoulder was messing him over; they had a habit of having weird side effects, after all. He wondered a lot of things in those few moments as he quietly skirted the undergrowth to the scene of whatever battle was taking place. Silently padding, a hunter in the night. He wondered if a horror was mimicking human speech in order to lure him over. He wondered if it were friend or foe. As he inched closer, he lowered himself down to the ground, taking advantage of the dense brambles to offer him inconspicuousness.

There were two fighters, one a Vampire, that much was for sure. His speed was inhuman, teeth bared you could see the fangs and the way he was darting around? Eren had to give it to the man, though he was short he could certainly dance. But something smelt off, the scent of blood in the air was far too intense for it to be a good thing. The more Eren watched the more injured he realised that this Vampire was. The man had a hand clamped tightly over his side and every time he was forced to let go, blood flowed from a gaping wound there. That wasn't right, Vampires had extended healing abilities, that wound should be shut by now, even if it were fresh, in the time Eren witnessed the scene unfold it should have mended itself. The Vampire's attacker sure was a sight to behold and one Eren shuddered at the sight of. Eren was almost sure that the same worry he was having earlier was coming to realisation here. It was a Demon. It was huge, certainly, bigger than him and he was about two and a half metres to the shoulder when in shifted form.

The man wielded a military issue sword, blunted from obvious over-usage. But he was putting it to damn good use, swinging around and running literal circles around the creature before him. The Demon (Eren presumed) had long legs and a bloated stomach, massive claws reaching down to its knees and a very small head and neck. It was typical of its kind and yet still managed to chill Eren down to the bone. His instincts told him to run before the creature took down the Vampire and managed to sniff him out as well but something else screamed at him to hold his ground. He figured it was the human part of him, if he even had one of those anymore. The side that couldn't condemn a man to death.  

This Vampire was fighting with a grace Eren had never witnessed before, speeds so fast even he was having trouble keeping up with it. Everytime he leapt upwards, the Vampire would land a hit, slicing against the Demon's neck. It was then Eren realised the man's intent was to behead the creature. That  _was_ a sure way to keep the horrors down, but its neck was so thick and head so small he didn't seem to be making much headway. Eren wanted to learn how to fight like that, how to hold his own in battle without having to shift. He would bet on his life that even if the man was not a Vampire, his fighting style would  _still_ be impeccable. Perfect timing and precise hits even with his grievous injuries.

The Demon swung its arm around and managed to land another hit just as the Vampire sliced through its belly, the stomach contents exploding everywhere in a vile mess of black gore. The Vampire darted backwards, what little black liquid hitting him sizzling on contact and he cried out, dropping to his knees and furiously trying to rub the liquid off. The Demon had managed to slice a gash through his uninjured side and it was obvious at this point that neither parties were coming out of this alive. The Demon was at its end and limping over simply to fulfill the satisfaction of a finishing blow and -to Eren's grim surprise- the Vampire simply remained on his knees, sword amidst the leaves, both hands clamped to his sides. His face was lit up in a grimace of pain, covered in blood and streaks of mud he lowered his head as the Demon made its way over to him, black hair hanging over his forehead, slightly shadowing closed eyes. His expression spelt acceptance and that infuriated Eren. This man, this man that had danced around a Demon with hardly a second thought. Lowered his head and accepted death?

This made him angrier than he could explain, how could someone just give up their life like that when so many others had to die every single day of their shitty existance. How come this man, this man with all that furious energy would just waste it? It was a mystery wrapped in an enigma and Eren found himself entranced. Watching the Demon advance, that's when Eren chose to strike. This man, this _Vampire_ had single handedly torn a Demon asunder. Whoever this man was needed his help and for  _some reason_  Eren knew he couldn't run. He wasn't going to run.

Diving out of the undergrowth, Eren leapt upon the Demon, front paws tearing into its shoulders as he scrambled to get a grip on its head in between his jaws, electing to finish the job that the Vampire had started, claws digging into the tender flesh connecting shoulder and neck. It flailed wildly, claws scraping against Eren a few times as he pulled his neck back with all his might and with an almighty  _rip_ tore the head free from the Demon's body in a shower of blood and gore.  The Demon dropped limply at his feet, leaving Eren huffing over its prone form, breath leaving clouds of white as blood dripped from his mouth. It tasted sickly but Eren couldn't care less right then as he turned to the Vampire, still on his knees; eyes widened in a shocked expression that didn't seem to suit his face.

They made eye contact for a few seconds before the Vampire opened his mouth and spoke his first words to Eren,

"...F-Fucking typical."

Before his eyelids fluttered and he slumped over to the side, obviously shaking as unconsiousness overtook him and his wounds bled freely on to the forest floor.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, yes, Levi.  
> I'm looking forward to writing the next one.


	4. Tricky Situation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this one. We shall begin to see the beginnings of a plot soon, my pretties.

The Vampire was going to die. Eren was almost positive of that much. Watching the man pouring out his life’s blood all over the ground, Eren suddenly had a very strong urge to help. Stronger than before. The Vampire looked ill, dark circles under his eyes accentuating long lashes and a pale face. Vampires weren’t supposed to be pale, aside from the red in the irises and the sharpened canines, Vampires looked essentially human. But this man looked like he was literally knocking on death’s door.

 How was he going to do this? Obviously, he was going to have to shift back into a two legged form in order to haul the man safely on to his back, but then he’d certainly have trouble making it back to the wall without being caught either by horrors or soldiers. A tricky situation. He was good at those.

 Shifting back into a Human felt strange, fur morphing back into clothes as he stood on two legs again. He got a better view of the man as he went to kneel down in front of him, scrunching up his nose as the smell of the Demon’s corpse wafted through the air.The guy was still shaking, eyebrows furrowed in pain even as he was unconscious. The tattered remains of a black military coat confirmed Eren’s suspicions of the man being a soldier, as if the sword and the talented fighting techniques weren’t enough. Steadily, Eren reached out a hand to the Vampire, gently rolling him over as he took off the man’s jacket, tearing it into strips and using  said strips to staunch the steady blood flow, fingers pressing gingerly into the wounds as his hands became slippery with the coppery liquid. The man groaned softly, gritting his teeth as Eren secured the strips of fabric together.

 “Just keep still, I’ll get you out of this.” Eren whispered shakily, not sure his patient was even conscious. Seeing a golden glimmer out of the corner of his eye, he picked up one of the black cloth strips, noticing a neat ‘Levi’ embroidered in gold. Another word had been next to it, but torn from the strip and was probably covering one of the wounds. He didn’t know if Levi was actually the Vampire’s name, but it was better than nothing.

 “Alright, Levi. I’m going to lift you up and things are going to get really weird really quickly.” Eren spoke softly, taking the man’s arm and carefully lifting him over his back, and leaning over so  that he wouldn't accidentally  slip off.  In human form Eren had a split second to appreciate the agony coursing through his shoulder from where the horror had bitten him. No doubt he'd need  to thoroughly clean the wound as soon as possible but for now, Levi was his main priority. Before he had a chance to shift, a low hissing pierced the silence and Eren froze in place, the unconscious man’s head  propped on his shoulder, leaning against his head, arms around his neck. The low hissing grew louder and every hair on the back of Eren’s neck stood on end.  As the soft hissing made way for a loud screech. He crouched lowly, getting ready to shift.

 “T-Those are De-...Demons, kid. Th-They don’t like it w-when you kill their friends.” A smooth voice, hindered by pain whispered next to his ear. He realised with a jolt that Levi was conscious, but just barely.

 He was being surrounded, he only noticed once he saw the first one appearing from the trees in front of him, just as horrific looking as the Demon he’d killed a minute ago, gruesome boils covering its huge body. He didn’t possess the same extrasensory talents that other supernatural creatures possessed once out of shifted form. He did, however, have a slightly heightened sense of hearing. Just enough to make out more creatures moving within the undergrowth.  Eren doubted he’d be able to fight more than four even without Levi on his back, his injured shoulder was throbbing too much, that, plus the aches that still wracked his form and he had no chance.

 Levi spoke again, a hint of worry beginning to lilt his already pained tone of voice, “If we-we’re getting out of this alive. Y-You better start running. I’ll...try to stay awake.”

 “Got it.” Eren replied, shifting into his bestial form and feeling hands tighten around his fur, Levi was getting weaker and if he didn’t hurry his already slim chances would be nil. With the change came the heightened senses and Eren could easily pinpoint every Demon surrounding them; there were twelve. Twelve Demons, Eren was just left hoping with all his heart that none of them were abnormally fast as he dived for a gap in the formation of Demons.

He didn’t even know where he was going, in fact he was only sure of one thing and that was that he needed to get out of the forest.

 Shooting through the trees, Eren huffed, still trying to rid his mouth of the taste of Demon blood. He wanted to ask Levi if he was still awake but the steady heartbeat above him and hands tightened in his fur assured him that the man was not just awake but also alive. Screeching bellowed behind him as he pelted through the forest, trying to put as much distance between them as possible. Eren was very fast, he was quite proud of that fact. Mikasa had tried to keep up with him at one point as he had sped through the fields far from the city about a year and a half ago, but she had fallen short by quite a lot. On the subject of Mikasa, he wondered how she’d be taking his disappearance. He wondered absently if she'd leave to look for him, it had grown dark after all and Eren had lost count of just how long he’d been out here.

 He hoped that she didn’t try to look for him, it was no good them both being in trouble. Especially now Eren had extra baggage with him. His train of thought was cut off by Levi’s voice,

“You do realise that y-you’re going in circles, right?” The man had the audacity to sound pissed off and Eren growled softly, hoping to portray a nice little , ‘fuck you, I just saved your life, I can take you where I want.’ When at the same time he shook his head a little, because, no, he _hadn’t_ realised that he had been going in circles and that he may or may not need directions back. An annoyed little sigh signalled that Levi had caught on to the head shake.

 He tugged the fur on Eren’s back to the left slightly, steering the boy back south, paws digging into the ground as he made a sudden U-Turn.

 “Th-This is really f-fucking bizarre.” Levi grumbled, burying his face into Eren’s fur. Eren hummed lowly in agreement. He supposed that even meeting a Shifter was a rare occurrence and they were usually malformed, vile things with no will of their own. Let alone meeting one in the middle of a forest and having said Shifter, turn from human to animal on whim and then saving your life.

Yeah, thinking about it, it really must have been rather odd for Levi.

 Another tug on his fur signalled that Levi wanted him to head slightly right but a sudden feeling stopped Eren short in his tracks, an instinct telling him that he should most definitely not go in that direction. He skidded in the dirt, stopping altogether, chest heaving as he caught his breath.

 “H-hate to break it to you, b-but I can’t keep my e-eyes open...much longer.” Levi sighed against his fur, no longer sounding anything besides simply pained and exhausted. Eren let out a little low whine because if Levi fell asleep now, he doubted that the Vampire would wake ever again.

He started pacing, padding up and down. What was he to do, something deep in his primordial instincts was warning him against heading back to the wall. Those instincts were important and always held true when he elected to listen to them. He knew he was close, he could almost smell the city from here. Maybe there were still soldiers waiting for him, maybe there were horrors waiting in ambush. Most likely it was the thought of the soldiers, all guns blazing as he, Mikasa and Armin were faced with the firing squad. What would going back to the city now spell for the trio? Almost certain death for Eren.

 He shook his head a few times, trying to shake the feeling of unease that seemed all the too familiar for his liking.

He’d taken this responsibility upon him, to get Levi to safety. He didn’t quite know why, he didn’t even know if he would succeed. All he knew is that he had promised to try. To get Levi out of this situation. So with that thought lingering in his mind, he steadily trotted forward until he reached the end of the line of trees, grassland visible through the branches. This was it, once he was out of the forest, he’d be a clear shot for the army.

 Making to take a step forward, Eren flinched as Levi suddenly dropped off of his back as the Vampire finally passed out again and panic promptly rose in Eren's throat.

The Vampire’s heartbeat had started thumping erratically and Eren shifted quickly back into a human, bones and flesh knitting with the change that he probably shouldn’t have rushed so much.

 He gulped, scrambling over to the man and pressing an ear to his chest. “No, no, no, you bastard, you can't just _die,_ not after I got you all the way here.” Examining his wounds further Eren was grimly surprised to realise that they hadn’t even _started_ to heal yet. What sort of Vampire was this, anyway? Halfbloods didn't heal, but half bloods didn't have sharp canines either and this one most certainly  _did_.

 Something clicked in his brain and he exclaimed quietly as it all started making sense to him, taking in Levi’s dark rings, pale face and wounds. The man hadn’t been consuming blood. Armin had mentioned the affects to him at one point a while ago.  Levi was most certainly suffering from the symptoms. Eren looked around before sighing feebly. This man was going to die and now Eren had a way to save him. But this could end horribly in various different ways. Vampires suffering from a lack of blood go into a frenzy when offered it; that could be bad. Eren didn’t particularly want to end up a bloodless corpse. But, even considering that, he didn’t know if he were human enough for the Vampire to be able to consume his blood and not suffer from side effects. He’d heard of Vampires drinking from other Vampires when in emergencies but from a Shifter? Eren wasn’t so sure. Still, the sound of Levi’s breathing getting slower and slower soon prompted him into action.

 He’d managed to put enough distance between the Demons and himself although he was sure that they weren’t far behind. He needed to be quick.

 “Levi?” He tested, slapping the man lightly on the cheek. Eren shook his head resolutely when Levi didn’t respond, pulling up his sleeve and shoving his wrist towards the Vampire’s mouth allowing it to hover over the man’s lips for a few moments as Eren sat there apprehensively. Soon enough, Levi’s eyelids began to flutter as the Vampire sniffed against the wrist. Taking it in his hand and running his lips over it before parting them.

Eren squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the pointed canines sink into his flesh, blood dribbling in a warm line down each puncture wound as Levi’s eyes opened slightly in a tired sort of surprise. As if his movements prior had been simply instinctual. On second thought; they probably _had_ been instinctual. This  was a Vampire, after all.

 Closing his eyes, Levi tilted his head forward as he sucked hungrily at Eren’s wrist and Eren did his best to ignore the bizarre sensation. It didn’t hurt per se, but it did feel acutely wrong to him and the more Levi clamped his mouth over Eren’s wrist, the dizzier the boy began to feel. Soon enough his head was beginning to slump forward, muscles relaxing  and that’s when Levi threw Eren’s wrist away from his mouth, slowly sitting up and wiping an arm over his bloodied lips.

 Eren rubbed a hand over his face, taking a moment to study his wrist before slowly leaning back to lie on the mossy floor of the forest, leaves getting caught in his hair. His shoulder was really aching now and everything was beginning to get a little blurry around the corners of his vision. A soft sound caused him to look up, watching as Levi stood, shaking himself down and examining Eren’s patchy fix-up of his wounds, peeling the mismatched bandaging away to reveal shabbily healing scabs. They looked awful but at least they’d stopped bleeding. Obviously Eren’s blood had done a good enough job to save this strange man. He was oddly pleased with this fact.

 He barely noticed as Levi crouched next to him and raised a dark eyebrow at him, assessing his form as Eren felt shakes began to rise in his body. He’d caught a fever once, this was kind of what it had felt like. Maybe he was developing the beginnings of an illness?

 “F-Feeling better?” Eren bit out amidst the chattering of his teeth, looking over at Levi and trying to sit up. Levi just shook his head in silent appraisal of him. Looping an arm under Eren’s in order to help the other up. But Eren cried out in pain as Levi’s fingers brushed the wound on his shoulder.

“Shit, no, stop.” Eren gasped, staggering to his feet and backing up to lean against a tree.

“That bite is going to poison you if we don’t get back to Trost.” Levi spoke out painfully bluntly, cautiously approaching Eren, reaching out a hand and (this time very gently) allowing Eren to lean his weight against him. It was slightly awkward, Levi being shorter and all, but the Vampire was strong and Eren knew that he wasn’t particularly heavy.

“You’re lucky you didn’t die just now, fucking brat. Then what would I have done? Had the life of a kid I killed to carry with me for the rest of my shitty existence.” Levi drawled, his words betraying an expressionless face. “And now because you donated blood to the needy, you haven’t got enough to fight against the poison in that stupid fucking bite.” Levi grunted as Eren staggered slightly, pulling him forward one step at a time as they trudged into the grasslands, City in sight.

"Who even are you, how did you get bitten? If a sick Vampire can go up against a Demon and almost win how did a  _Shifter_ lose in a fight against a horror?"

Eren shrugged, dragging his feet slightly as he walked in tandem with the other man, trying to push aside the sense that his shoulder was on fire.

They walked for a moment in silence, Eren getting steadily sleepier and clumsier as they walked until he made a particularly large mistep and almost fell face first on to the floor if it wasn't for Levi's strong arm supporting him. Something told him that this might actually kill him and somehow he wasn't all that terrified of the idea. He'd formerly been sure that he had to survive, but he couldn't  _force_ himself to live. Maybe he was always destined to die saving another's life. That didn't seem like an awfully bad way to go to Eren. It was funny, Levi and his positions had been almost completely flipped and Eren wasn't even sure why he'd done it. He'd put it down to basic human decency if he was even sure that he was human.

 “Don’t you dare fucking die.” Levi said it like an ultimatum. As if someone would be waiting for him on the other side to give Eren a damn good talking down if he did indeed have the cheek to die under Levi’s watch. That earned Levi a quiet laugh.

“Talk to me, kid, what’s your name?”

“Eren.”

“Got a last name to go with that, Eren?”

“Jaeger.”

With each sentence the city and the lights of the wall got a little closer and the sound of screeching behind them got a little louder, foreboding beginning to build in their wake. Levi was still hurt, Eren could hear it in the strained breathing, the struggle to carry the both of them. But he did it anyway. Eren was glad that he’d stumbled across this man, whoever he was. For once in his existence he could feel that he’d done something that he could reflect on and be proud of.

“Hey, Eren you can turn into a giant fucking dog, that’s kind of weird, you know?” Levi huffed and earned himself another rueful laugh from Eren.

“Y-Yeah, I know.”

Eren stumbled again in the grass and Levi tightened his grip on the boy’s waist, speeding up his steps just slightly.

“Don’t die on me, Eren.” He huffed again, sincerity surprising Eren as the wall inched closer and closer.

 

Soon enough the soldiers caught a glimpse of them, shouting started up from the tops of the wall, illuminated by lamps in the pitch dark. The moon above casting enough light to pinpoint them both.

There were people heading in their direction, soldiers having been sent out to retrieve them, Eren would argue against the idea of the military if Levi hadn’t got a steady hold on him. Maybe they could even be convinced not to execute him on the spot, Eren gritted his teeth as his vision flickered and he began to slump over, too weak to continue any further.

 “No, no  you fucking don’t. You’re not going to die here, damn shitty brat. Get the fuck up and use those legs; walk, damn it.” Levi fell to his knees along with him, steadying Eren’s fall. They both watched, Levi keeping a firm hold on Eren as the soldiers ran forward, finally reaching them.

 Eren managed to catch snippets of conversation as he fell unconscious,

 “Captain Levi? Where the _hell_ have _you_ been?”

 “What happened to you?”

 “That’s the Shifter from earlier-

 “Should we kill him?”

and a smooth, dangerous voice finally leaving a strange impression in Eren's mind as he succumbed to darkness.

"Don't you _dare_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's interested my tumblr is keiiiro  
> and the tag I track is degrees of innocence


	5. A Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to post a chapter on Thanksgiving.  
> I'm not even American, just thought it'd be a nice gift to give to those readers that are.  
> Happy Thanksgiving!  
> and a happy Thursday to everyone else.

Eren dreamt that he was barefoot in the sand, overlooking the ocean.

He'd never been to the ocean before but he had seen plenty of pictures in books, the images emphasised by Armin's excited explanations and fervent finger pointing. Armin had always wanted to go to the ocean. Eren wasn't quite sure why as he stood amidst the sand and looked out to the sea. It was tranquil here but further out he could see a storm brewing, churning up the water around it, dark clouds rolling closer. He pondered the storm absently as he looked outwards, dreamily wondering its significance. It was a powerful force of nature, nothing would stop it. No matter how hard he wished it away the storm would remain.

He supposed life was like that too, you could never guess what was going to happen and once it had happened it was far too late to wish it otherwise. Fate is a powerful thing and completely out of your control. Let the sea wash over you, let the rain batter your face because in time it will stop. You will dry. And one day the cycle will repeat itself.

Stretching his arms in front of him, Eren lifted his palms up as the first splatters of raindrops began to come crashing down, the blue sky a thing of the past. Funny how the storm had caught up with him, it'd only been on the edge of the horizon a moment ago. He turned his face up to the sky and raised his arms into the air, his face splitting into a grin as the rain came down in its bucket loads, thunder cracking over head. The storm had caught up to him.

But a little rain never hurt anyone.

He hadn't felt the rain in a long time, being inside so much. He missed it. Somewhere in the back of his mind Eren was unsurprised to realise that there was someone else stood next to him, face also upturned to the sky. Eren tilted his head to watch him.

"I hate the rain." His companion sighed deeply, expression unreadable as he closed his eyes, allowing the droplets to wash through dark hair and run down his neck. Something told Eren that the man was lying but he remained silent, basking in the peaceful bliss that surrounded them.

But soon enough his curiosity caught up to him and he found himself uttering a soft, "Why?"

The man with the unreadable expression looked pained for a split second before hurriedly regaining his composure and answering promptly, "I've had some bad experiences in the rain."

Eren nodded as if it made sense. He knew the feeling after all, it had been raining when he'd lost his mother. The storm grew harsher at that thought, thunder making way for sharp jolts of lightning crashing over the ocean, rain stinging his skin in its intensity.

Eren blinked, wiping a forearm over his soaked brow, "You can't let the past rule your life."

At that, the man smirked and cocked his head at him "I'll stop when you do."

Soon after, everything went black and when Eren opened his eyes again, he found himself in an unfamiliar room, joined by unfamiliar faces.

 

The room smelt decidedly musty and was overly small. Lying down on a hard bed, Eren tried to shift himself but soon realised that he was secured on to the bed by strong, iron manacles at his wrists. His shoulder no longer burned but everything still ached as if he had been in a fistfight with a giant. As soon as everything became less blurry, he got the opportunity to look around a little, finding himself face to face with a woman, seemingly barely containing herself as she fidgeted and shuffled on a stool as close to his bed as she could possibly get. On the other side of the room was a man seated in an old wooden chair, blonde hair cut short and off his face, he seemed to command an air of authority. Call it a canine thing, but Eren was good at picking up on those. Both were clad in neat military uniforms and Eren gulped a little. There was a window in the room, casting a clear light on the wooden floorboards and the end of his bed. It was too formal to feel like a stanard bedroom, though. Also, the manacles; never a good sign. Still, he was alive and he could certainly appreciate that fact.

The blonde man spoke first, "Ah, you're awake. Captain Levi assures us that he owes you his life." The sentence was followed by a slight down turn to the man's eyebrows and a pinch of the lips. Eren was unsure how to act or react, a part of him was glad that the bizarre rescue mission in the forest had gone well, the other half was terrified of where he was and what he was meant to say. He didn't even know if he was still to be sentenced to death or whether he'd be held prisoner here indefinitely. About to answer, Eren was cut off abruptly by a loud voice,

"I have never, _ever_ met a Shifter up close!" The voice squealed and Eren almost jumped right out of his skin as he turned his head and found himself nose to nose with the woman whom had been previously sat on the stool. Eren had expected many things. Though, to be bombarded with a list of intrusive questions from the military was on the list of things he expected, what he didn't expect was for them to be fired one after the other leaving no time to reply while trying to lean away from a strangely jovial woman with glasses perched at an angle on her nose.

"Levi said you had control over the shifts, how is that possible?-"

"Well I-"

"Are you still affected by the lunar cycle?-"

"Uh-"

"Can you still think like a human when shifted?-"

"Um-"

Eren looked at the man at the other side of the room for help and received an amused chuckle in response.

"Hanji, that's enough, you're going to scare the boy."

Hanji sniffed before nodding her head and leaning away, "Yes, yes, sorry sir."

"My name is Commander Erwin Smith, I control the military of Trost, this is Captain Hanji Zoe and the man you saved outside of the wall is Captain Levi." He leaned back, pushing a hand through his hair, his features softening slightly as he took Eren in, "You are still alive due simply to the fact that Levi's word means a lot around here; but mark mine, one wrong move and I will put you down like a dog."

Erwin's words chilled Eren right down to the bone, the way he spoke them so quietly with such a sense of promise, all Eren could do was shakily nod his understanding.

Erwin apparently accepted it as response enough, leaning back into his chair and smiling slightly, "Good, now that is out of the way I wish to extend to you an invitation." he glanced over at Hanji and she nodded gleefully, turning to look at Eren with sharp amber eyes,

"We'd like you to join the military. We could really use a Shifter on our side. It may also be beneficial to allow us to study you."

Eren's eyebrows shot up. It made sense, he supposed. If he didn't join the military he'd probably get locked up. He understood why they couldn't let a rogue Shifter wander the streets. But this was- this was brilliant! The military had really shaped up since Commander Smith had taken control and being able to wander the streets again as he wished, to be able to make new friends and not have to stay inside. The idea almost brought joyful tears to his eyes as he nodded a few times,

"Yes- I mean, yes sir! It would be an honour."

Erwin nodded once and rose to his feet, opening the door. Before he stepped out he gave Eren a sidewards grin, revealing sharply pointed canines, "I'm expecting many things from you, Eren Jaeger. Don't let me down." before stepping out of the door and leaving the room.

Everything went silent as Hanji and he listened to the commander walking down the stairs and out of the front door. Hanji seemed to have calmed herself down a little and gave Eren a rueful chuckle.

"Sorry about the Commander. He's on edge." She leaned forward, a group of keys rattling in her grasp as she started undoing the manacles connecting Eren's wrists to the bedposts.

"About what?" Eren tested, rubbing his wrists as they were both freed.

"You haven't heard about the string of murders?" She tilted her head at him and he shook his in confusion.

"The news has called him 'The Slasher'" She spread her hands to emphasise her words, a wicked grin curving her lips upwards. He sat up slowly, realising that he didn't know whose clothes he was clad in, soft white linen trousers and a shirt. The same he'd worn in his dream, he realised, the memory of it coming back to him for the first time as he allowed Hanji to rant about The Slasher, waving her arms about excitedly.

"-and because Erwin's head of Trost Military, it's his job to control everything in the city. A string of murders makes people think that the military's weak and then Levi disappeared and everyone went completely insane." She laughed, quieting her voice down into a conspiratory whisper, "Some people even think that _he's_ the murderer." She cackled at that, throwing her head back with the shaking of her frame.  
Eren allowed the words to pass through one ear and out the other as he assessed the damage to himself, rolling his shoulders and lifting his shirt Eren's eyes widened at the stretch of bruising covering his ribs, mottled purple covering almost his entire torso. Hanji stopped laughing and pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose with a finger.

"Ah, yes, it was touch and go for a while with you. Levi wouldn't leave your side, threatening bloody murder when they tried to drag him away." She hummed quietly, "Due to the brilliance of yours truly we managed to wash out the venom in that bite. Good thing you're a Shifter because something tells me that you would have died otherwise, it was one hell of a horror that attacked you, I wish I could've had a chance to inspect it." She mused at that last thought, eyes glazing over.

"But, Shifters don't heal like Vampires, right?" Eren frowned, rubbing at his shoulder and confirming that there was still a bite there, healing at average speeds and covered in bandaging.

"Oh, no, no, no they don't heal like Vampires at all! But due to recent studies we have managed to conclude that they _do_ have a tolerance to natural and unnatural poisons and venoms. Also to most illnesses." She finished with a wave of her hand.

"...But I had flu once-"

"You did?" She exclaimed wildly, "You must tell me more! How long did you suffer from it? Was it bad? How high was your temperature?"

Eren noticed then that Hanji didn't have fangs, as she talked animatedly.

"You're not a Vampire?" He asked, interrupting her (presumably rhetorical because she didn't give Eren a chance to respond) questioning.

"Aha! You noticed?" She said, grinning broadly and showing off a set of perfectly normal teeth, "I'm a Half blood."

"Oh, my sister's a Half blood..." He trailed off, wanting to whack himself over the head. How, how, _how_ , had he forgotten about Armin and Mikasa? He leapt out of bed only to stumble and have to be caught by a worried looking Hanji.

"Woah, you might want to go steady there, Eren. How quickly can one forget that they very almost _died_? You've also been out for about two solid days, that's a lot of time not moving and with those bruises-"

"Two days?" Eren shouted, furiously trying to stand against the pain. "I've been asleep for two days?"

A firm hand grabbed his shoulder and practically threw him back on to the hard mattress shocking Eren into silence and when he looked up, he realised that it hadn't been Hanji and found himself staring into the bemused eyes of one Captain Levi. He studied Eren for a moment with that indecipherable expression before turning curtly to Hanji.

"The Commander wants to see you." Eren and he locked eyes once more before he turned and left, stopping to add a quick, "Use the manacles if you can't get the brat to settle down." promptly skirting out of the door and leaving the pair in silence.

Hanji and he were left in a surprised silence for a little time before Eren built up the initiative to talk,

"Is he...always like that?".

Hanji nodded amusedly, snapping back into herself, "Yep."

Eren made sure he was calm once again before turning to the bespectacled woman, "Um, Captain, I have a friend and a sister that don't know where I am- I need to get to them."

"Please, call me Hanji, you are my patient after all. I presume you're talking about Miss Ackerman and Mr Arlert. They're both quite anxious to see you."

The air left Eren's chest in a loud gust as he took that in. How did they know where he was? Were they both okay? Hanji stood up before he could voice his questions, brushing herself down and giving Eren a wide smile. "Right, sorry but it looks like I'm needed elsewhere. There are men posted at the doors, we're currently in a dorm here. I'll send up your friends on my way out if you want?"

She needn't have asked as Eren nodded enthusiastically. Hanji walked from the room then, leaving Eren completely alone with his thoughts for a short time. Something was bothering him but he couldn't quite pinpoint what in the hurricane of his mind. Maybe it was Levi's dismissal of him, the lack of emotion in his face. He didn't know why but he felt something new connecting him to this stranger. Maybe it was the fact that they'd saved each others' lives. That was certainly something that didn't happen everyday. Maybe it was the Commander's cautionary words, maybe it was the disturbing thought that he had been out for two days. Still, the whirring thoughts left him scratching at his scarred arm with unease. Taking a moment to stare at the scar from years ago, still looking as broad as ever, twisting over the inside of his forearm. They kind of looked like intertwining roots spreading out from where his father had plunged the syringe. 

The door flying open jolted Eren from his reverie, a large weight suddenly bearing down on him as arms were thrown around his shoulders and someone took his hand and arm tightly in theirs. he grunted slightly, the pain from his bruises spiking. He ignored it. Mikasa was clinging to him, Armin at his arm, both looking distraught and as if they hadn't slept for a week. 

"I'm-" Eren began but was cut off by a pain at his cheek, it not quite processing that Mikasa had slapped him sharply before tears filled her eyes and she buried har face in the crook of Eren's neck, arms wrapping tightly around him. Armin wasn't any better as he knelt next to the bed, blonde hair ruffling around his shoulders as his blue eyes were made bright with tears, Eren's hand caught in a tight hold. 

He took a minute to close his eyes, hold on to his family and allow relief to overtake him. He'd been so careless, so thoughtless. He was glad that they were both okay, so glad. Wrapping his an arm around Mikasa's shaking form he also returned the grip on Armin's hand. 

He couldn't even tell who was crying when the soft sobbing began. Maybe they all were.

But a little rain never hurt anyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's not a huge chapter, just something to tide you all over. I'm not a massive fan of writing gargantuan chapters, I get bored very quickly. They'll probably get longer as I go along but for now I'm not really bothered about the word count.


	6. Awkward Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if there are any stupid mistakes, it's half two in the morning and I have college tomorrow...Hope you enjoy!

The healing process was slow, the bruises wouldn't be completely healed for weeks and the bite on his shoulder, though no longer poisoned, ached an awful lot. He remained bed ridden for another five days. Armin explained after they had all calmed down about how Mikasa had returned to find Eren's note and completely lost it. Armin laughed outwardly at Mikasa's chagrin as he recounted a furious Half blood showing up in the middle of the military courtyard and springing a highly confused Captain Hanji. His face darkened a little as he told Eren about him being nearby when he heard a commotion atop the wall scaffolding and had no choice but to watch from afar as the soldiers panicked about an escaping Shifter. He got a little shaky after that and Eren put a hand on his shoulder, apologising profusely. Armin simply shrugged and smiled it off, running a hand through his fringe.

"Why rescue the shorty?" Mikasa piped up after Eren's apologies had finally taken affect and they decided to move on from the initial running away.

Armin nodded hastily in agreement, "Yeah, we never really got the details on that. When Levi and the others carried you back into the military quarters, Mikasa and I had already met up and were talking to Hanji. Apparently, Levi had been missing for three days."

"Wait, What?" Eren leaned forward, cross-legged on his bed, Armin sat on the stool Hanji had sat in a few days ago and Mikasa huddled next to him, they were both wearing military-issue plain clothing while Eren was stuck in his medical linens. "I was unconscious, I can't remember any of this."

Realisation clouded Armin's eyes for a moment before he spoke again quickly, "Eren, you've got to tell me what happened in the woods. I think I can explain everything better if you tell me."

Both Mikasa and Eren looked at each other in confusion before Eren took a deep breath and started relaying the past events to Armin. From why he needed to get out of the drab house to getting bitten on the shoulder by the bizarre aberrant horror. They took it all in, pausing only to muse on the tale once Eren got to explaining how he had figured out that Levi was ill from lack of blood and that he'd offered his own in order to save the Vampire. Quick thinking too because if he hadn't, Levi would've died and Eren wouldn't have realised that he was poisoned until he was at a point of no return.

"You let him drink your blood?" Mikasa twitched a little at that but held back her reprimands, obviously thinking the same as Eren had. Armin however, looked astonished and hastily grabbed Eren's bandaged arm.

"He bit the same arm that your father injected you in?" Armin looked up at Eren for confirmation and he nodded slowly.

"Yes...Why? Is that bad?"

Armin shrugged, inspecting Eren's forearm, tracing the scars with a finger right up to the bandage that tied off the wound on his wrist, "I don't know. You're a rare case of Shifter, I mean, this has never happened before. A Vampire has never fed from a Shifter in any of the books I've read. I mean, they've had no reason to, let alone a Shifter tame enough to do it," He sighed, shaking out his blonde hair and smiling just slightly "I suppose we'll find out. Although I bet it's nothing," He didn't sound convinced "Anyway, carry on."

"Right." Eren nodded and finished off the rest of the story, the bits he could remember, anyway. He left out his dream; they didn't need to know about that. Plus something felt off about it, like it had been a memory rather than a dream. Maybe it was because of the venom- only he'd never had a dream like that in his entire life. He remembered it with such clarity...

He was so involved in his own thoughts that he barely noticed when Armin and Mikasa began explaining to him what had happened on their side once the news had come through of Levi accompanying an injured Shifter.

"-and we were sat in the Commander's office trying to explain what you were and that you weren't a threat when everyone outside started shouting and people ran into the office explaining to the Commander about what was happening. Mikasa was the first to get up." Mikasa nodded at that, leaning over on to Eren a little. He'd be annoyed by it any other time but he'd already put her through so much. He hated being mothered but he'd really brought it on himself this time. "Erwin told Hanji to escort us as he ran ahead, I think he probably knew that it'd be hard to try and contain a Half Blood while so much else was going on. When we got out on to the courtyard, you were there, being carried by a recruit Mikasa and I had talked to before," He looked to Mikasa,

"Jean Kirschtein?"

"Yeah, that's the one. You were being carried by Jean and a couple of other soldiers and everyone thought you were- that you were-" He couldn't finish and shook his head resolutely, "We didn't think you were going to make it. But the smaller soldier, Levi? He was torn to bloody pieces and was refusing to let anybody take you anywhere. They kept asking him whether you had been the one to injure him and, gosh Eren, if looks could kill...Anyway, when we were sure things were going to get violent, Hanji and Erwin managed to get through the crowd and start examining them both except Levi wouldn't let anyone give him medical attention until you'd been taken care of. It was a mess."

The three of them sat there in companionable silence for a minute before the quiet was punctured by an unexpected Hanji bursting into the room. In no particular hurry of course, she just always seemed to burst into the room. Eren actually quite liked the woman, even if he couldn't see where she found all that cheery energy. Maybe that's why everyone else seemed so unhappy all of the time, Hanji was burning up the stocks of happiness.

"Eren, Armin, Mikasa! It's time to get to work, the Commander thinks that it would be best if you helped some of the other younger recruits do some jobs around the place. Armin, Eren, you're going to be working under Levi's unit for a while, he'll probably just get you to clean, he likes to make the younger recruits clean things," she paused at that, dwelling for a moment, "Actually, scratch that, he likes to make everyone clean." She chortled.

Mikasa tilted her head, "Am I to be assigned some where different?"

"Yes, yes, actually, you're coming with me. Half Bloods need to be checked over because the military don't know enough about us. We're just special." She grinned broadly and Mikasa nodded her understanding, helping Eren up off the bed as she stood and gave him a small, reassuring smile, "Armin, don't let Eren do anything stupid whilst I'm gone."

Armin chuckled and nodded, "I won't."

After Hanji hastily ushered Mikasa out of the building and gave Armin and Eren quick directions to where they were stationed Eren turned on Armin,

"You're both joining the military too?" He hissed, leaving Armin to raise his hands in quick submission.

"Yes. Because that's what I was going to do anyway and Mikasa would rather tear apart Trost than let us both be here alone."

Eren grit his teeth and decided to argue with them later, when Mikasa was around. That way he could perhaps convince them both otherwise. Sure, Armin was going to join the military as a book keeper, never as a fighter. The anger in his mind relented a little when he thought through the potential silver linings to this situation. No more hiding out in shabby, run down buildings. Armin could have free access to the military libraries, Mikasa would be able to interact with others of her age without feeling threatened by them.

Maybe, just maybe this situation wouldn't be as bad as he was making it out to be in his head.

His body still ached all over. Thanks to the list of exercises Hanji had been making him do over the past few days it wasn't so bad but even so, it felt a chore to walk across the chilly courtyard, limbs feeling as stiff as planks, wearing his own set of Military uniform. The outfit didn't suit him like it seemed to suit Armin, the black of the jacket lending a sharp definition to his blue eyes. He sighed out a puff of white air as he pushed against Armin's shoulder, trying not to feel self conscious of the suspicious stares and sometimes glares that people would flash him from around the courtyard. He supposed to an extent that he didn't blame them, he wouldn't particularly trust him either. But Levi's word had been good enough of the Commander, why not them? Armin seemed to pick up on Eren's unease because when they got to the door of the building that they were apparently assigned to clean, he stopped Eren with a hand on his arm.

"People are scared. The murders happening and then suddenly this? They don't know how to take it, they're too worried to think rationally. Try not to take it to heart. These are actually pretty good people for the most part." For the second time that day Armin didn't sound convinced by the words he was saying, but Eren nodded nonetheless as they stepped over the threshold. They were greeted by a group of people staring at them in nervous silence. Armin just sighed as Eren puffed up a little in indignation.

Hadn't he saved their captain?

They really had no reason to be so god damn-

A smiling face completely burst Eren's bubble of anger, "Hi! My name's Marco, you must be Eren and Armin."

"Y-yeah." Eren replied, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck.

"You probably don't remember me, I was there when you first got outside of the wall." Marco didn't even seem to feel sheepish about the topic, instead electing to plough right through whatever awkwardness there should be. Eren actually could remember him, he had very innocent big, brown eyes and an air of friendliness that you wouldn't expect to find on a soldier. Plus the fact that he was human was admittedly a little strange.

Everyone else had seemed to have carried on with their jobs, but Marco took it on himself to lead Eren and Armin around and introduce everyone. They all seemed to avoid Eren's eye contact aside from a very select few.

A pair were squabbling over a piece of bread and Marco called them over, "Connie, Sasha, this is Eren and Armin. I'm pretty sure you've both heard-"

"Oh cool is that the Shifter?" He gaped openly at a slightly taken aback Eren, extending a hand to him only to have it slapped down by the girl next to him, brown ponytail swinging as she did, stuffing the piece of bread they'd been squabbling about into her mouth. There was a moment of silence as Connie stared in horror.

"You are so dead, Braus."

She took off first, barrelling up the stairs at a speed that Eren had never seen someone run before. Connie was soon after her at breakneck speeds, the only clue of them ever being there were the constant crashing footsteps and banging from the floor above.

"...Well." Marco said after a second or two, amusement pulling at his lips, "That was Connie Springer and Sasha Braus, you shouldn't have any problems from them."

Eren and Armin nodded dumbly, still slightly taken aback by the entire show. It sure was a stark contrast from what they'd encountered so far.

Next up were a group of three people, seemingly uncaring of Eren's ability to shift, the first of the trio, Reiner, even told Eren that he should go to them if anyone caused any trouble for him, which was nice he supposed. Although he doubted that he ever would. The girl, Annie, kind of reminded him in Mikasa in a twisted sort of way. She actually just looked relatively bored by the situation and focussed on polishing a round table rather than talk to him. Reiner, had to elbow the tall one -and wow, he was tall- before he'd speak, hastily introducing himself as Bertholdt Fubar.

They were an odd trio but Eren found himself liking the people he was being introduced to more and more. They didn't seem particularly nervous around him and welcoming enough to assure Eren that they wouldn't give him or Armin any trouble.

The next up were a pair of girls, a short blonde one, introducing herself as Christa before Marco even had to ask. She was kind of cute, offering a warm smile to Eren and Armin as they shook their hands. But a warning glimmer in the other girl's brown eyes warned Eren that Christa was well and truly taken. The brown haired girl with a sprinkling of freckles similar to Marco's, Ymir was her name, soon corralled Christa away and shooed them off, complaining about Levi's wrath if they slacked off for too long.

"Jean should be hanging around here somewhere as well, I think he went to grab some more hot water." Marco trailed off, frowning a little.

Eren took a moment to reflect on the people he'd come across, listing in his head the amount of humans that there were. Connie, Christa and Marco. Everyone else were Vampires. It was weird, actually, he'd thought that the general consensus was that you had to be a Vampire or be turned if you joined the military, he voiced his question to Marco who nodded his head,

"Yeah, that's what I thought too. I hadn't minded the idea, of course. I considered it an honour to be accepted, I went through training for a couple of years just like all of the other recruits but then when it came to the changing sometimes people just don't take to it."  
"Yes, I've heard about that. The Commander would inject his own blood into another person to change them but some people don't change. It's to do with innocence or something like that. Morals and standards. No one's really sure about why sometimes it doesn't work." Armin piped up.

"Precisely; so," Marco smiled proudly, "Because Christa, Connie and I were in the top ten training recruits we were allowed to stay anyway even without being turned."

As Eren turned that over in his head Marco showed them around the large building, handing them cleaning utensils and a bucket of warm, soapy water. It seemed similar, the way some people wouldn't turn and the way he'd reacted to the Shifter disease. It was like pieces of a puzzle were fitting together but he was still missing the biggest piece. Armin was better at this kind of stuff but that didn't mean Eren was completely useless either.

In his daydream Eren bumped into a cabinet, the large vase atop it wobbling precariously before falling to the floor with a loud crash. The building fell silent as the noise reverberated around.

"Shit." Eren mumbled, bending over to pick up the shards. Marco leaned in to help but was knocked by Armin who had also bent over at the same time, accidentally running his hand over a particularly sharp piece and cutting himself quite deeply, blood spilling out on to the floor as Marco yelped quietly, holding his hand to his chest.

"Shit, shit-" cursed louder, going to take hold of Marco's hand only to have the sense knocked out of him by what felt like a brick wall hitting him in the face. Dazedly, he dropped to the floor, blood trickling from a split lip.

"Holy hell, Jean!" Marco shouted as Armin hurriedly crouched next to a confused Eren, quietly mumbling things and helping him to his feet as clarity re-entered the world.

"Are you okay, did he do this?" The newcomer kept repeating, shoving a finger in Eren's direction as Eren was left to nurse his bottom lip and jaw, half surprised that it wasn't broken. Anger started welling up as he faced his attacker, recognition hitting him as he took in the amber eyes laced with typical Vampire red and the two tone undercut.

"No, he didn't!" Marco shouted, pulling his hand back from the other boy as he tried to take it to examine it, blood was spilling everywhere and that just seemed to make Jean panic more. Eren wanted to face Jean head on and ask him what the fuck his problem was and a slightly shaken Armin held him back firmly, hooking his arms into Eren's.

"Hey, what the fuck was that for?" Eren yelled despite Armin's quiet protests, Jean turned on him then, anger and suspicion boiling under his gaze.  
"Oh, no, Jean..I'm feeling faint." Marco whispered, pulling on Jean's sleeve as he began to drop down. Jean's gaze instantly snapped to Marco, catching him before he could fall, and lifting him up so Marco could lean on him, looping his uninjured hand around his neck, "Jean...I've got to get to a medic, or else....I don't know." He whispered dramatically and panic seeped into Jean's stance as he hurriedly started to help Marco forward,

"Okay, just hang on, it'll be okay, I mean it's not even that bad, right?"

Eren went slack and stopped trying to fight against Armin as he caught on to Marco's game. Armin was very subtly biting his lip to hold in laughter.

"I don't know....Jean....if this is goodbye..." Marco turned just in time to give Armin and Eren a quick wink and apologetic smile as Jean very hurriedly helped him out of the room, leaving Armin and Eren alone with a broken vase, blood everywhere and Eren trying to ignore a throbbing lip.

It sure was an introduction. Eren thought he should probably feel pissed off but all he felt was shocked as surprised laughter bubbled up and out of his mouth, soon accompanied by Armin. They stood there for a while, chest heaving and stomachs aching as they laughed and laughed. They hadn't had this much drama in years and it was a thorough shock to the system. Laughter seemed like the only logical response.

For a short while as they got to cleaning and chatting about insignificant trivialities and interacting slowly with the other recruits.

Eren felt more at peace than he had in a long time.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi shall be re-introduced next chapter. Another note is that I am going to thoroughly enjoy Jean's character development in this one.


	7. Red on White (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part one of this chapter, just so I can post something before I head to bed. The reason I'm doing this in parts is because I'll finish it tomorrow. So yeah, short but good. Hello again Levi.

The way blood bounces up off snow before it spatters down completely fascinates Eren.

As if its warmth is trying desperately to escape the bitter sting of cold.

It's useless though because gravity is always there to pull it back down again.

Crimson drips from his skin as he stares hollowly at the blood on white, lying with his cheek against the cool ground.

He knew the peace wouldn't last.

Couldn't last.

It always came down to this.

The animal that he is, raring to rip free.

He couldn't help it.

He's a monster.

How did he get here? He needed things to make sense in his head. He scrunched his eyes shut and pictured back to the day before. When he was sure things were fine. Not entirely fine, not entirely perfect; but better than before. How had things gotten so fucked in such a short time?

 

Looking back, he guessed that it probably started while he was patrolling the wall one day up on the wooden scaffolding. It was a piss poor job, really but at least he got to see outside into the forests and distance. The wind whipped through his hair and set his teeth on edge. The air had taken on a sharp bite that signified that it was somewhere below freezing. It was almost painful being so high up whilst it was so bitingly cold but Eren stamped through it, curling his freezing toes in his boots and gritting his teeth to prevent embarrassing chattering. Armin was somewhere further up along the wall and Mikasa the other direction. They had to make sure they were patrolling equal amounts and usually they were in pairs but Jean had gone off to get a warmer jacket and Eren wasn't about to stop him, if anything he'd wished that he'd asked Jean to pick him one up too but knowing Jean, all he'd pass Eren was a snide comment and a smug smirk.

It wasn't fair that Jean seemed to be so suspicious of Eren. Everyone else had made peace with him in his unit aside from Kirschtein and it was really beginning to grate against his already fragile nerves. It had been almost two weeks since Eren had officially joined up and so far he didn't find it all that bad. Sometimes he wondered how much crime was in the city that could truly call so much of their attention that they couldn't focus more on the horrors plaguing them and why they might be doing it but Eren actually trusted in the judgement of Commander Erwin Smith so didn't complain. Not that he truly had any right to, he still feared for what might become of Mikasa and Armin if they labelled Eren a threat so for their sakes he kept his firmly mouth shut. Mostly he was occupying himself with Hanji's tests and experiments. So far they'd discovered little about the Shifting disease and it's bizarre mutation in Eren. Little aside from what Armin had already deduced and Eren had lost hope in a 'cure' long ago.

With a weary sigh Eren huddled himself in his black, military jacket, burying his hands deeply into his pockets to ward off the numbness starting to freeze his fingers over. It was beginning to get dark and Eren had been ditched with a night shift. That was also something, Eren could see in the dark. Not completely, just better than everyone else. It would be cool if he could see completely but it was more a matter of he could sense that something was there over that he could see it particularly. So, naturally, he got dumped with the night shifts about twice as often and Mikasa would usually end up insisting upon them as well. She was nice company in the dark, actually. Better her than horse face.

He hadn't noticed that it had started to snow until the first flake landed on his nose with a cold tingle. Soon the white sky turned grey with beautiful flakes of snow tumbling to the ground. It was soft for the time being but Eren could tell that it would most likely get heavier soon, especially now the sun was setting. Everything was a little sharper, things a little easier to predict with a full moon just around the corner.

He dreaded them, really. They made him feel detached and took all of his power and mental fortitude to remain in control of his animal-like natural when the full moon swung around every month. It wasn't at its peak until the night itself, so at least he didn't have to deal with it for any extended amount of time. He'd lost control a couple of times and couldn't remembered what had happened, only waking up the next morning in a highly damaged basement with a slightly shaken looking Armin and Mikasa waiting for him on the floor above. He always felt particularly horrified when that happened, what if something went wrong, what if he got out? It was going to be doubly worse now being kept in a dorm with other people. He hadn't even mentioned it to Hanji, fearful he'd be heralded a threat if there was even a small section of his nature that he couldn't control.

Things were a little fucked for him now he was trapped between a rock and a hard place. He was probably just going to have to put aside his worries and approach Hanji about it.

Or Levi.

That made him sigh for the second time as he began pacing up the creaking boards of scaffolding, absently wondering where Jean had got to during his trek for a warm jacket. He'd probably bumped into Marco and gotten lost in a storage cupboard again.

He shuddered.

Levi was a puzzle. Levi was a short, obnoxious, walking puzzle that had a crude preference for shit jokes and studying Eren whether Eren was watching him do it with a confused expression or not.

Levi hated him, Eren was sure of it and he had absolutely no idea why, he'd saved the man's life for crying out loud! Did he get any thanks for it? No. Eren even tried approaching his Captain with thanks for his quick rescue but Levi had dismissed him sharply and made some excuse about paperwork before pacing out quickly.

It was bizarre. Even Hanji agreed that Levi's behaviour around Eren was strange even by Levi standards.

And Eren didn't quite know why it hurt. But it did. It hurt quite a lot. Should there be a connection between the two? Eren was intrigued by the man, the man that he'd saved and in return had saved him. But maybe this was all a flight of fancy on Eren's behalf. After all, he'd never really seen Levi interact with anyone much besides Hanji, Erwin and orders to his unit. Maybe he really was just closed off.

Looking around and checking the coast was clear Eren settled himself down for a short break on the creaking scaffolding, looking out to the land beyond, snow sticking fast to the ground and blanketing everywhere in a layer of white. Drawing his knees up to his chest, Eren looped his arms around his legs and huddled to himself to keep out the cold. It had gotten dark quickly and soon enough the only illumination available was the eerie light snow casts upon the world as well as the lamps and torches flickering across the city behind him. No one had patrolled in a while and Jean just hadn't bothered to show back up, stupid asshole.

Eren was shaking now with the cold. He'd never handled it well, it got worse once given the disease. He couldn't ever remember being this cold. A voice behind him almost gave him a heart attack,

"What are you doing?" Was that Captain Levi? Weird, he'd just been thinking about him, Eren looked up at the Vampire as the other stared down at him and simply shrugged, burying his forehead back into his knees,

"Cold." Was all Eren could bring himself to shudder out between chattering teeth.

"How long have you been out here? Your shift finished three hours ago."

"No it didn't."

"Jaeger. I am the one in charge of giving shifts. Your shift ended three hours ago." His tone was laced with disdain as well as impatience and Eren huffed quietly, that didn't make any sense. How long had he been out here for if his shift ended three hours ago? Had he fallen asleep or something? Damn it, everything was strange nearer the full moon, too many patches of forgetfulness. It made Eren nervous. Levi seemed to pick up on this because Eren felt a foot shove against him heavily as Levi prompted him to get up,

"Hurry up and get up before I leave you here."

"How did you even know I was here?" Eren grumbled quietly. He was warm in his little ball, he didn't want to get up and feel the cold again. He was tired of being cold.

"Because, idiot, I was walking to Erwin's office when I saw your sorry ass sat up here and thought to myself, 'That friggin' brat is meant to be asleep so he can actually get up for early drill tomorrow.'" How can the man could look so thoroughly bored with everything and yet still use such expressive wording Eren would never know.

"Maybe I want to be out here." Eren groused, frowning into his knees.

A small 'Tch' and footsteps leading away were the only indication to Levi leaving and Eren looked up at that, scrambling to his feet,

"No, don't go."

Levi paused, turning to look over his shoulder, "What?"

"I said, don't go. I want to know why you hate me so much- I mean, I follow orders, right? I actually try to impress you and I work really hard but no matter what I do you still won't mention what happened a couple of weeks ago."

Levi's eyes widened just a tad before he took on the bored expression again, "I don't hate you, why would you think that?"

"Because if I'd saved any else's life we'd be friends, right? I mean, we owe each other our lives doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"My life isn't worth shit, kid. Neither is yours. Better learn that quick around here." Despite the harsh words Levi looked kind of sad underneath the anger. The snow was landing on his black hair and jacket, falling around them both. The man was attractive in an obscure way. But Eren supposed that was Levi all over, obscure.

Eren glared and was firmly steadfast in his answer, "If I thought your life was worth shit I wouldn't have saved you."

Something twitched in Levi's expression as the man stepped forward, somehow appearing intimidating despite the fact that Eren was taller than him. A hand on the pommel of the sword strapped at his side, Levi pulled it from its sheathe with a long gleam of metal, glinting against snow. He held the blade up and pointed it at the hollow of Eren's throat, tip touching just lightly against his skin.

Eren froze completely.

One wrong move and he'd be dead.

Why was he not scared?

"I could end your life. Right here and now, leave your body up here and flee into the city. You wouldn't have to worry about being a monster any more, you would stop having to live with the things you've done or the people you've hurt. Every face you've ever seen drop in fear of what you are, it'd all go away."

Eren frowned, raising a hand to push the sword away cautiously. To his surprise, Levi let him, "I don't want to die."

"I did." Levi replied quietly. Almost so low that even Eren could barely hear it. Before the man turned on his heel, sheathed his sword and briskly walked away. Leaving a stunned Eren to stare silently after him in his wake.

The snow had gotten heavier and Eren's confusion more mixed up than before.

It was a full moon tomorrow night.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm off college for a little while so you might get a couple more chapters this week~


	8. Red on White (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, originally I was going to do more but then an assignment popped up and I have to go out tomorrow. So what I'm going to do is leave the night time scene I have planned out for next chapter and make it much longer. You'll probably thank me for that one so yeah, what was originally meant to be a two part chapter is now a three part chapter.  
> Again, sorry for any mistakes~

After Levi had left him stood on the scaffolding with muddled thoughts flying through his head, it had been a long walk back to his dormitory, shared with the other males of his unit and most of them were asleep, aside from Armin and Jean, sat on the same bed and whispering to each other quietly.  
Eren stepped into the room, shivering and exhausted. Armin gave him a knowing look and didn't bother to get up or try to offer comfort as Eren shoved off his boots and scrambled under his sheets fully clothed. It wasn't long before he was half asleep and breathing softly into his pillow and the conversation between Armin and Jean that he had apparently interrupted was under way again.  
Armin was the first to speak, hesitant in what he was asking, "Does it hurt?"  
Jean sighed heavily, talking in a voice tinged with sympathy, "Yeah, like hell."  
The conversation dropped into amiable silence again after that and Eren found himself a little wider awake. Did what hurt? What were they talking about? After a moment Eren resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn't know unless he kept quiet and hoped that they continued talking. Part of him was happy that Jean didn't direct his suspicions of Eren on to Mikasa or Armin, (in fact, he got on pretty well with the two). The other part of Eren, the part bitter in his loneliness and self loathing was jealous of the fact that they could so easily make friends and be accepted while Eren was left alone and hated.

He despised that petty part of himself.

But it wouldn't go away not matter what he tried.

"I'm scared of it. What does that make me?" Armin piped up again, fear shaking his voice just so much that Eren considered getting up and demanding to know what they were discussing. But he was too tired now that the cold had seeped from his body and left him weary in his bed.

"Human." Jean finished and the silence that stretched on this time wasn't broken again for the rest of the night and Eren drifted off into a fitful sleep fraught with blurred faces,

_A man with a dark undercut and definitely human, but that made sense to Eren in the dream. Why wouldn't Levi be human?_

_Eren reached out to him, extending a hand because the ground had started crumbling beneath him and he was going to fall into oblivion if someone didn't help him._

_But the man simply looked on, staring through Eren as if he wasn't there._

_It was getting bad now, the sound of a gun being fired._

_The ocean._

_Blood._

"Eren."

_"Levi!"_

"Eren."

_"No!"_

"-Eren wake up!"

He was shaken awake by Mikasa, concern marring her elegant features. She was gripping his shoulders tightly and he shook his head, trying to tear himself thoroughly out of his dream. He was panting heavily and shaking as though recovering from a fever, his sheets were drenched in sweat and the liquid left a sickly sheen on his face.

"..Mikasa?" He tested his voice, it was raw from shouting. He hadn't realised that he'd pulled her into a hug into he was burying his face into her shoulder and coughing brokenly. A surprised intake of breath was the only response he got off of her before she returned the hug twofold. Hushing him quietly as she ran fingers comfortingly through his hair. It reminded him of his mother and that just made it worse as he shuddered more. He didn't even know why he was so upset. It was like the emotions were hitting him in a great wave of attack and he just couldn't hold them back no matter how hard he tried.

After regaining his senses, he pulled away from a worried Mikasa and frowned just slightly upon realising her presence in the male dorms was strictly prohibited.

"Mikasa, what are you doing in here?"

"Duties started fifteen minutes ago, I was worried."

"I overslept." He groaned the statement, rubbing sleep from his eyes with a tired arm. Upon realising he was still in his jacket he cursed quietly, this was the only one he had at the minute and now it was creased beyond measure and they were to be under inspection from Levi the entire day. For some reason, thinking of him sent a prominent chill down his spine upon recalling their conversation last night and the dream that followed. But what could he expect with a full moon that night. Some things he just had to learn to deal with. 

Mikasa waited for him patiently as he rolled out of bed and hurriedly began trying to tame his ruffled hair with a comb on the bedside table. Once he'd pulled his boots on and straightened out his uniform to the best of his abilities he looked to Mikasa and she shook her head amusedly, stepping forward to straighten out his collar and fasten his top button, he lifted his chin to allow her better access and smiled softly. 

For all his complaints, she really was his anchor. Her and Armin both.

While she was fiddling with his buttons she spoke softly to him, dark eyes reflecting worries that cut deep through her, worries that had been there for years, "What are we going to do about tonight?"

"I'm going to keep it secret."

She moved back at that, a small quirk in her brow signalling her troubles, "Is that a good idea, Eren?"

"If they find out I can't completely control it, I'm as good as dead." He hissed quietly, rolling his shoulders and stepping from the dorm and into the corridor leading out into daylight, Mikasa soon joined his side as he strolled up it and towards the exit; glances out of the windows on his right showing off the snow covering everything like a frozen blanket. 

As they reached the exit, she stepped into his path and stopped him in his tracks, "Then I'll stay with you." 

"You know that you can't, Mikasa. If they notice your absence they'll know that something's up."

She sighed dejectedly and he put a hand on her shoulder, "It'll be fine. I'm in complete control, I promise and if the worst comes to the worst I'll just have to speak to Hanji about it." He tried his best at a reassuring smile and she quirked her lips slightly in return before, with his prompting, she left to rejoin her unit for duties. Leaving the lie Eren had just told bitter in the back of his mouth. He couldn't talk to Hanji about this. She reported back to the Commander and though Eren had gotten to know the Commander and gained a respect for the man, the words 'put you down' still reverberated through his head every time they spoke. 

He trudged over snow, carefully not to slip up every time he came to a patch of ice on the stone ground, thankful that the nip in the air was lessened slightly compared to the previous night. He rounded a corner and reached his stationed building. He was to complete tasks and learn patrols for the city today with everyone else and he was half looking forward to it. Menial tasks were always helpful for taking his mind off of more complicated matters. He reached the step to the door, stamped the snow from his boots and entered the building. As soon as he stepped in he was greeted by a freaked out looking Sasha talking to an unnerved looking Connie. They both turned to stare at Eren when he closed the door behind him, 

"Hey....What's up?" Eren started but was swiftly cut off by a slightly jittery Sasha rushing forward and grabbing his sleeve, pulling him over to where Connie was stood and they leaned in conspiratorially

"Jaeger, okay, good about time you got here, you might be able to sort this shitting mess out." Connie began, looking to Sasha and she continued hurriedly, 

"Jean apparently pissed off someone from another squad, they're outside now and things have gotten tense." She bit her lip and scrunched her nose up.

"Yeah and things are gonna get bloody soon if someone doesn't split them up."

"Wasn't Reiner, Annie and Berthodlt gonna do something?" Sasha asked, looking to Connie and he shook his head nervously,

"Maybe, but then they got caught up in it too. Those other guys were saying some real shit."

Eren took his opportunity to pipe up at that, "What? Like what, is this even just about Jean any more?"

Both Sasha and Connie answered in unison, "Nope." Before looking at each other, Sasha prompting Connie to carry on,

"Okay, so, this other soldier and his buddies were shit faced and looking for you. Something about one of his relatives being killed by a Shifter, I don't fuckin' know. Anyway, Jean backed you up and told them to go fuck themselves." He sniggered at that, "Wow, the looks on their faces- Oh, anyway. They were basically saying some real fucking shit about you and 'what they wanted to do with you once they got their hands on you' but then Marco and Armin tried to split it all up but these ass holes start on them too. Basically being really fucking racist towards Humans which makes about as much sense as wanting to beat  _you_ up." He gestured at Eren, who was beginning to worry for the situation at hand, "Ymir jumps right fucking in the mix and starts at these guys because, y'know, Christa's Human. We go and grab Reiner, Bert and Annie but they end up not being able to split it up because there's like, twelve of them, all Vamps and they're all brandishing rifles and swords and, oh man just- things are really bad, okay."

Eren started heading towards the back door, Connie and Sasha following suit, "Where's Captain Levi?" 

"He was here earlier but he needed to go and do a report for the Commander, we don't know when he's going to be back." Sasha answered quickly, as Eren swung open the door and stepped out into the courtyard, obviously someone had been shovelling snow because there wasn't any on the stones here, just occasional patches of ice. The argument was just as Sasha and Connie had warned, heated and (Eren's instincts told him) on the verge of getting physical. Both sides were facing the other down, the Vamps of one side, protecting the Humans of the other whereas the other side had their weapons drawn and were cursing vehemently. Ymir was one of the loudest voices he could pick out, having apparently shoved Christa behind her back. Annie stood besides Bertholdt and Reiner, exuding an air of fury. Jean, Marco and Armin were the closest to him, Armin noticing their appearance on the scene, trying to discreetly gesture for Eren to go back inside. Before Eren could even think about it, someone from the other side noticed him stood there with Connie and Sasha, eyes widening in fury as he raised a rifle to aim and much to Eren's utter shock Jean was the first to leap forward at lightning speeds, knocking the rifle from the man's hands. 

Everything went silent for a moment as the rifle clattered to the floor. 

The first physical contact had been made and that acted as a signal.

The ring leader of the foreign team threw a punch right at Marco and Reiner blocked it for him, kneeing the man in the groin. Ymir pushed a surprised Christa back as a man charged them, shoving him back on to his ass. Christa apparently didn't need Ymir's help, though, as she took on a man twice her size with no outstanding problem. 

Jean tackled another two, trying to back the others up to the best of his abilities as he punched at people. Annie flipped a man right over, taking on three of them at once with a scarily concentrated glimmer in her eyes. 

But these people were obviously far more experienced than these trainees and the first blood was spilled when one sliced his blade across Armin's face and blood spilled out from his friend's cheek. His group of friends weren't using their weapons but the others were. Someone was going to get very badly hurt very quickly if Eren didn't do something fast.

He raised a hand and bit into the skin just below his thumb, the sudden influx of pain triggering the shift. It came on with ease, animal form more potent, more powerful with the day of the full moon. But he didn't have a chance to consider how bad an idea it may have been before he was stood on four paws. 

Connie and Sasha had leapt back in shock and the fighting had frozen. Eren padded forward, head lowered and lips bared over dangerously sharp teeth. A low growl building in the base of his throat. As he approached the group of people, the fighters all separated into two teams again. Friend and foe. All wearing the same uniform. It was enough to give Eren a headache. Where would fighting like this ever get them?

"...Eren." Armin started forward and Eren ceased growling, raising his head just slightly in acknowledgement, allowing Armin to know that he was still in complete control. He heard a small, "That's kind of cool." coming from Connie's direction and had to hold in an amused chuckle. 

"Oh so the beast finally shows it's true colours." Eren whipped around as he heard a rifle being cocked in his direction, ears flattening against his skull as he positioned himself between the rifle and his friends. The soldier in question had long black hair tied back in a ponytail, a scar reaching from his forehead and stretching down to his jaw, marring his face. Brown eyes filled with an acute hatred. 

"I bet this fucking monster is the one that's been murdering all those people, I bet he's responsible for it all. He's just a fucking creature if the  _Commander_ isn't going to put it out of its sodding misery  _I will._ " The group behind him gave a short cheer of agreement as he lifted the rifle up ready to fire and before Eren could stop himself, his bestial nature kicked in and he jumped forward, taking the rifle in his jaws and ripping it from the surprised soldier's grasp, allowing it to slide off over the ice on the floor. The soldier and he were practically nose to nose as saliva dripped from his maw and he snarled menacingly, turquoise eyes piercing in their fury considered ripping the head off of this rogue soldier and killing him dead, his claws dug into stone as he considered it. Picturing the blood gushing out over the paving,

He wanted to.

He wanted to kill them all for hurting those he cared about.

For calling him a monster.

He wanted to prove them right.

The soldier flinched away upon realising that he was weaponless, his friends scattering away with various scared sounds once faced with the 'monster' in question. Up close, Eren was fucking terrifying and he knew it. 

He needed someone to stop him but no one was stepping up, Eren could practically feel the stunned horror emanating from his squad mates. He took a step closer to the soldier in question, the man began to draw a sword, relying on Vampiric speed.

Eren was faster.

He had the man's arm clamped between his teeth before the Vampire had even touched the sword strapped to his side. A strangled scream escaped his lips and the noise annoyed Eren.

So he bit down harder. Blood beginning to pool beneath them both as the man was reduced to hysterical sobs, begging Eren not to kill him.

Eren didn't care, though. Eren wanted to kill him, no one was going to stop him, no one would care if this man died. Maybe after that, Eren would kill the rest of them too-

A hand on his muzzle made his thoughts freeze in their tracks, as he turned to face the newcomer and his eyes widened, ears flattening down again and tail dropping. Levi looked at him with a calm expression, hand outstretched and simply resting atop his snout. 

"Let him go." 

Eren snarled sharply but did just that, releasing the man's arm and allowing the soldier to back down, taking a moment to cradle his injured arm, his team mates rushing forward to help him, "That fucking thing needs putting down!" One of them shouted and Levi glared, 

"Take the injured to the Med Station and then get back to your posts." He spoke quietly and it was enough to have the men cursing as they helped each other out of the courtyard.

Levi's hand was still on his muzzle and Eren was very overly aware of it, not realising that he had been growling until Levi's fingers dug into him just slightly,

"Calm down."

Eren closed his eyes, fighting against the blood-lust still coursing through him, hackles raised.

"I said, calm down."

He allowed his muscles to slacken slightly and his hackles to fall, lowing his head so Levi no longer needed to raise his arm in order to leave his hand rested. 

"Good. Do you think you can shift back?"

Eren tried in vain, he still wasn't quite calm enough yet plus with the full moon, he doubted he'd be able to shift back for a little while. He shook his head slightly.

Levi looked behind Eren, to the rest of the squad, "Get back inside, I'll take it from here." He was less angry, but still dangerously quiet. Everyone filed in and Eren could tell that a few of them were limping but aside from that no serious injuries had been sustained. He would have watched them go in but his eyes were locked on to Levi's. Soon enough, they were left outside alone.

Eren wanted to shift back, but he still couldn't and it left him whining unhappily. Now back to his senses, he could still taste the blood in his mouth. That was the first time that he'd attacked something that wasn't a horror and it made him want to be sick. He lowered his head more as he whined softly, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. 

"Do you see what I meant now, kid? Do you understand me a little better?" Levi was rubbing his thumb in comforting circles but offering little more support than that. It felt nice, nonetheless, "People are always going to think you're a monster. It's your job to prove them _wrong_. Going around biting chunks out of people isn't going to fucking help." He sighed and Eren wanted to shout, wanted to tell Levi that he couldn't help it, he couldn't because he  _was_ a monster. So maybe accepting that fact rather than fighting it was his best bet.  Levi moved the hand up so it rested atop his head, still ruffling it through fur. 

They stood in silence right up until Eren finally shifted back into a Human, on his knees in front of Levi, he completely broke down. 

He didn't even know why. He hadn't been all that upset. Just confused, angry. But maybe it was a mixture of things, a build up. He hadn't really wanted to hurt anyone like that, he hadn't actually wanted to  _kill_ anyone.

He didn't want to be a monster any more.

He just wanted to be Eren Jaeger.

Levi crouched down in front of him, hand remaining on top of his head as Eren sobbed weakly, hands on his thighs, blood still staining his mouth, he must have looked a state. But Levi remained there in complete silence and allowed Eren to ride out his breakdown. After a while, he sniffed and gathered himself up again,

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologise." Levi interrupted, getting to his feet and allowing Eren to do the same, "You'll have to stick close to me for a while. Today will have repercussions and after another murder last night Erwin is on edge as it is." He tutted in annoyance, brushing himself down. The man always looked immaculate and Eren half wondered how he managed it, he paused to pierce Eren with a pointed look, "Make sure you're never alone for the next few days or so. No more sitting up on the Scaffolding until early hours of the bloody morning."

"Y-Yes sir."

"Good, now go get cleaned up inside, I'll be there in a second. I've got to talk to glasses about some of her unruly squad members that need disciplining." The glare he shot off into the distance would be enough to scare the living daylights out of any mortal being. He started walking away again but paused before he turned the corner and spun to face Eren again before he went inside, 

"I appreciate you saving my life, Eren. Now do me a favour and don't get yourself killed." 

And with that Levi turned the corner. 

When he stepped inside he was completely bombarded by the members of his team asking him frenzied questions, asking him if he was alright, showing him injuries they'd sustained, telling him about injuries they'd returned. Eren was half shocked that they hadn't recoiled in horror after seeing him shift but it seemed the opposite. After a while they dispersed to their duties again and Eren was left with Armin, Jean and Marco. 

Jean was still checking out the bruise mottling the cheek of a bemused Marco and Armin seemed glued to Eren's hip, a small patch covering the cut on his cheek.

Grudgingly Jean turned to face Eren and tilted his head down a little, "You actually really saved us back there, I would've done more than bite the guy's arm so- Um, thanks? I guess." 

Marco laughed aloud and patted Jean on his back jovially, "You see? Didn't hurt, did it?"

"Well actually, Bodt, it did. I'm hurting  _inside."_ Jean grinned, pointing a finger to his chest, "I am in so much pain right now."

A loud, joking argument started between the two and Armin simply looked to Eren and shot him a questioning look, Eren replied with a short, "I'm fine, let's not tell Mikasa about this one." 

Armin chuckled ruefully, "Oh, she'll find out. But I won't tell if you don't." 

With a low sigh, Eren and Armin got back to work, soon joined by Levi who swiftly began cleaning about the house. People joined in with him one after the other and what started as a joke soon became the most serious cleaning mission that they'd ever undergone in their entire lives. It was also nice to begin to get to know their Captain better, Levi was snappy and overly judgemental (and harsh in his punishments) if you couldn't clean properly. But otherwise, Eren really thought Levi was a genuinely good person, in fact he believed it with all his heart. He just wished that Levi did as well.

His worries over the full moon and what it may bring soon dissipated with his furious cleaning work and mostly one sided conversation with Levi. 

But with a heavy heart, something deep in his chest told him that there was blood to come on the horizon. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part three up tomorrow /maybe/. If not, it'll be up on saturday. Comments mean a lot and I love you all, okay. I'm so glad I have people enjoying this fic it means the world to me.


	9. Red on White (Part 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this went up so late, I've been pretty ill, I'm okay now but still quite out of it so I apologise for mistakes as usual (I may take a certain someone up on the offer of Beta).

How could he explain the feeling to someone, it was so bizarre, so foreign that he didn't think he could. The closest thing he could come to describe it would be to imagine that you have an itch, a bad itch, all over your body. Now, you'd scratch it if you could. But you can't. Because it's under your skin, the itch is under your skin and no matter how hard you scratch the itch only gets worse, steadily worse until you're lying on the floor, shaking like you wouldn't believe and the only way to relieve the itch would be to Shift. But Eren couldn't shift because shifting would mean relinquishing control of his body and his free will. So he's stuck with the itch. 

That's what the full moon felt like.

That's what he had to look forward to tonight.

"You're going to take the varnish off the wood if you scrub that hard." 

Eren paused, lifting the cloth off the wooden table and taking a deep breath. 

"Sorry, sir."

He had been scrubbing pretty hard, he hadn't realised. He'd been stressed since he'd arrived and now he had only half an hour before night fall and no idea what he was going to do when he was left alone. Because he _did_ need to be alone. There was no way in hell that he was going to risk being in a dorm full of his team mates. His hands started shaking as he rubbed at a particularly stubborn stain on the table, leaning over and putting more elbow grease into the situation. He could potentially kill someone if he wasn't careful and he was scared, that was the simple fact of the matter. He was terrified of what may happen. No wonder he'd been so emotional lately, all these suppressed emotions and worries had nowhere to go, if he wasn't careful the emotions alone may be enough to trigger a shift without wanting it. He'd almost taken off a man's arm a few hours ago- No more than that, he'd wanted to  _kill_ him. Tear him open, watch him bleed, it was enough to make anyone-

"-Brat, I am trying to talk to you." A hand grabbed his forearm and the stern voice of Levi managed to stop the train of Eren's thoughts before they careened off into somewhere dark. 

Eren froze at the touch, staring at the pale fingers on his arm as he replied with a slow,

"Sorry, sir."

Levi tutted, pulling his hand away and taking the cloth from Eren, "You've said that so much today that it has lost all meaning to me."

"Sorry, sir."

"Tch."

Eren smiled, feeling a little better, running a shaky hand through his hair, maybe he could trust Levi. Maybe he could trust this man with the steely eyes and obsession with cleanliness, he held back a chuckle at the white linen he'd tied over his mouth and hair, pulled down to talk to Eren. Levi really was a bizarre example of a Vampire

"E-Excuse me, sir?"

"What?"

He was going to ask, he really was, if Levi would help him, if Levi would help carry some of the weight on his shoulders, but instead he found himself asking, "Where did Connie and Sasha go, weren't they working in here with us?" It was true, Eren hadn't seen them leave. But that wasn't the question Eren had intended to ask.

Levi's eyebrows furrowed a little in the middle as he took in Eren, "They left over an hour ago to get food. What's wrong with you, Jaeger? You've been off."

They'd left over an hour ago? Gaps in memory, drifting off, typical of a full moon. Typical of Eren. Things were so shit, he could barely keep up with his own mistakes anymore, "I guess it was just because of this morning, I'm fine, sir."

"I didn't mean just today, kid."

Eren had no reply to that and just shrugged, glancing out the window and towards the setting sun, casting a burnt orange glow on all it touched, the snow glinting like amber in the light, it really was beautiful. Levi moved towards the window at that moment, dusting off the sill. He looked good in the light, the orange glancing off of dark hair and grey eyes, it suited him. Most colours suited him. He was fairly attractive, Eren paused at that. He wasn't _fairly_ attractive, the man was beautiful. Handsome would be the wrong word. Commander Erwin was handsome, but Levi was pretty. He was beautiful, he had a sort of feminine face that reminded him in some respects of Mikasa. But the train of thought wasn't a useful one in calming him.

He twitched slightly, rubbing his forehead with the heel of his hand and groaning softly. The itching feeling was beginning to start and Eren cursed the fact that he hadn't left with Connie and Sasha whenever they had traded work for leave.

"Is it because of dog things? It's the full moon tonight."

He looked sharply upwards into the face of Levi. The man on the outside seemed nonchalant but Eren's intuition said otherwise. Levi's stance wasn't nervous but the air of unease he was giving out made Eren feel jumpy, "No. No- I uh, I've got to go." and on that note, Eren quickly paced out of the doorway and the room that smelt too clean for his liking. He was almost sure that his captain would stop him but Levi made no move to do so, nor did he follow after him.

Eren walked.

He walked and walked.

Out of the building, on to the courtyard, through the training grounds. 

It had gotten dark quicker than Eren realised and he dragged his fingers over his forearms as he grit his teeth and ignored the pulling sensation in his gut. He was meant to be with people, he wasn't meant to be alone. He felt over-alert, scared, jumpy. 

Maybe Levi hadn't been radiating unease in that room. Maybe Eren had. 

He wished he could think straight, everything was stopping short in his head. Short sentences, short attention span.

He didn't know where he was anymore, some part of the military grounds that he hadn't explored yet, dark buildings rising up around him. He quickly ducked into an alley way, remembering what Levi had said about not being alone. 

His instincts warned him of the hand about to grab his shoulder.

He dodged back into the end of the alley like a cornered beast, eyes alight with suspicion. 

But not fear.

"Look who it is!" A drunken slur broke out, two other people laughed, their breath fogging up the air as snow began to fall from the sky in great white chunks, his eyes never left the people in front of him. He recognised the three, they'd been there this morning. The sound of a bottle smashing as it hit the wall besides him made him flinch back, anger alighting in his bones as he stood to his full height and squared up to the three newcomers. 

He wanted to Shift, but that was an inherently bad idea. It spelt loss of control, a relief of the itch but a certain loss of humanity. He couldn't afford that, he couldn't afford to lose control of himself then and there in front of these men. He'd kill them, he had no doubt of that.

The thought made him nauseous because part of him wanted to follow through with the idea.

He hated this curse. 

"What's the matter, bastard, not looking for a fight without your team mates to back you up? Is the creature too scared?" A blonde man spat, taking another heavy swig from the bottle at his side, sober enough to throw it accurately at Eren. 

Too busy with trying to contain the Shift, Eren couldn't dodge or block it, receiving the full blow against his right shoulder, it shattered upon impact, shards digging into him, blood dripping to the floor. He stumbled back, growling lowly in his chest as the pain did nothing to help him control himself. This was the epitome of a challenge, to keep himself human was taking everything he had. He wasn't as strong as these Vampires whilst in human form, in fact he was about as strong as Armin. Maybe a little stronger than Armin. But you get the picture.

He stepped back as they moved forward, heel scraping against the wall as his body connected with it. A man with more nerve than the others stepped forward, Eren recognised him as the ring leader's companion from before. Eren refused to flinch as the man grabbed a fistful of Eren's jacket and wasted no time in slamming his fist into Eren's ribs, the air leaving his body as he dropped to his knees upon release of his jacket. It was a blur from there, the smell of alcohol on the air as he was kicked to the ground, the others joining the first man as Eren concentrated on not losing control, on holding on to his humanity as feet pounded into him again and again and his cheek was lacerated multiple times by the shards and splinters of glass on the floor.

 

The itch was almost as painful as the beating, the want to shift. He was so close to the edge, so close to losing it. He opened his eyes slightly, blood marring his vision as the men continued their beating. He remembered why he'd liked the colour of the sun so much against the snow earlier. It was the same colour as his mother's eyes had been. It had been so long since he'd seen those eyes, those kind eyes that grew warmer when she smiled or crinkled around the corners when she laughed. He missed her. He hoped she was happy, wherever she was. 

He was going to try his best, for her. It was always for her. He just wanted her to be proud of him.

His vision was beginning to dim around the edges, blood dripping off the tip of his nose on to the snow that had began to fall in huge chunks around him, that's how he got here. 

Blood splattering off snow, trying to escape it's cold. 

While he tried to hold in the monster.

There was a shout then that penetrated the darkening of Eren's senses. The beating stopped suddenly as a scuffle began to take place above him. Eren was far too out of it to pay attention, having barely the strength to look up as the shouting stopped following the sound of people slumping to the floor. Someone was crouching besides him, pushing the hair off his face with a cold hand, 

"What did I say? What did I fucking say? Don't go out alone, so what do you do? You go out alone, of  _course_ you do. No one ever fucking listens to me."

"Levi?" Eren whispered, trying to breathe in.

"Yes, dipshit; Levi. Can you move?"

"I- I think so." He hauled himself up pitifully slow, body aching as he drew himself up, supported by Levi. The whole event seemed overly reminiscent of their first meeting.

"Why is it I always need to pull your sorry ass out of trouble?"

Eren's head span as he clutched his ribs, "It's because I have a really nice ass."

"Someone has concussion." Levi spat in a sing-song voice.

"Maybe," Eren agreed as he leant on Levi for support, once again admiring their height difference, "also broken ribs." he added after a moment with a rueful huff. 

The made their way back to Levi's personal quarters, the snow growing heavier as they walked, Levi's own quarters were closer than the medical station and Eren wasn't exactly going to die from his injuries. He just needed a patch up job, then he could go. The itch was still there. Eren wanted to go to sleep but he knew it wouldn't be possible tonight.

The stepped into the building, slowly and painstakingly making their way up the stairs and into the guest bedroom, warmth causing Eren to shudder and relax as Levi lowered him down on to a chair. The shorter man wiped his hands on the first cloth he could pick up as he began to route around for a first aid kit,

"You are filthy."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Why would that be a compliment-" Something in Eren's dazed expression must have been enough to stop Levi as he sighed quietly and and pulled a tin from a drawer in the desk, grabbing out a wad of bandaged, alcohol and cotton. Pulling a chair forward, he positioned it in front of Eren, sitting himself down and taking Eren's chin in between his fingers, pulling the boy forward,

"This will twinge."

"Yeah, most things do." 

Levi dabbed the cotton in alcohol, carefully picking out any glass in Eren's cheek before applying the alcohol firmly, Eren hissed, unable to pull away due to Levi's steady grip on his chin.

"So you lie there and take a beating from three Vampires but alcohol? No." 

Eren remained silent through Levi tending to his injuries, basking in the feeling of someone taking care of him again without the guilt that came with it being from Armin or Mikasa. Shrugging out of his slightly tattered uniform and uncomfortable boots, Eren allowed Levi to wind bandages tightly around his ribs, gritting his teeth against the pain. He worked in silence and Eren had another chance to appreciate Levi and the mystery behind the man. He still had no ideas about his Captain, no input about his history or anything about him, really. All he knew was the Levi was a Vampire, Levi wasn't impressed with life and Levi loved being clean. That was literally it. So why did Eren feel so at ease around him? He couldn't explain it to himself let alone to anyone else. He felt calm. When Levi finished his job, he leaned back in his chair and examined Eren.

"Spill it, kid."

"Pardon?" 

"I said spill it, why are you acting like more of a freak than usual?"

Eren froze in place under Levi's steely scrutiny, expression falling once he realised that really, he was going to tell Levi. He could feel it, he already knew it was going to happen the same way he knew the man in the alley was going to grab him before it happened. He just hoped it didn't spell his death,

"The full moon does affect me, it makes me want to Shift as well as triggering gaps in memory- I forget things, little things or big things. I remember one time I went missing for five hours and turned back up at home, Mikasa has never been able to figure out where I went and I- I just can't remember at all. I lose control sometimes, want to- want to kill things. I'm sorry, if you want to report this to Commander Erwin I completely understand, just please realise that neither Mikasa or Armin have anything to do with it. It's all on my head." He stared at the floor, hands in his lap, resisting the urge to do something stupid like salute Levi and then run for the hills.

"You seem alright now."

Eren cocked his head, frowning as he registered the truth in those words, "I actually don't feel the need to shift at all right now."

"And you still don't want to die?"

"No."

"Then I won't tell Erwin."

His head snapped up as he studied Levi, "But, maybe, maybe it's for the best? I'm a threat to people, I could  _kill_ someone. You'd just let that  _happen?_ "

"You're useful to the military."

Eren stood up sharply, ignoring the pain in his torso as the chair fell back behind him with a crash, "Oh I'm  _useful?_ Useful for what? You fucking bastards barely even  _do_ anything, the threat is still out there and here we are, just sat waiting here like pigs to the slaughter!"

Levi crossed his legs, leaning back further into the chair, "Calm down."

"No! I won't calm down! I am tired of losing people, I am tired of putting up with this fucking disease day after day, to have to physically restrain myself occasionally to not rip someone's throat out. H-How am I meant to convince other people not to be scared of me when I am  _scared of myself_? Levi? H-How..." And just like that Eren was crying again. He was so sick of crying, so sick of being weak. He slowly lowered himself to his knees and hung his head as he cried softly to himself before his captain, unable to restrain it. He was tired, he was in pain, he just wanted to wind back the clock. 

He was there for about half a minute before strong arms pulled him into an embrace and Eren was shocked to find Levi on the floor with him, holding the boy close and running soothing fingers through his hair, "There's no point crying, Eren. The only thing you can do is carry on and do your best, life is a cruel thing but never mistake it as being hopeless." 

Eren sniffed, burying his face in Levi's shoulder. The man smelt like fresh linen mixed with the alcohol from earlier. Levi heaved him up and walked over to the spare bed stationed in the room and Eren scrambled under the sheets, cringing as the bruises and cuts flared a little. The itch to Shift had completely vanished and for some mysterious reason, Eren suspected that it was down to Levi. The same Levi who was currently looking to leave the room now that Eren was in bed.

"Wait," Eren said before Levi had a chance to walk away, the man turned to him, raising an eyebrow, "stay."

"What?"

"I feel like me when you're around. I don't feel dangerous. Please just...Stay?"

Levi let out a long, pained sigh but grabbed a chair and pulled it over to the bed, sitting himself down in it after shrugging off his jacket and taking off his boots.

"You can sleep in the bed if you want?" Eren mumbled from under the sheets, peeking out to Levi who just rolled his eyes as if the idea was simply out of the question.

"Just go to sleep, brat."

"Sorry, sir." Eren replied with a small smile before closing his eyes and allowing his mind to drift to a nicer place.

When he awoke after what felt like only a short time, he was greeted by another body in the bed, their limbs intertwined and chests pushed together. He was too tired to register surprise and too content with the warmth and comfort another body provided to complain, so he simply rested his head against the other and fell back off to a blissfully dreamless sleep. He was happy to worry and grouse about many things but he was grateful for the appearance of new people in his life. Particularly the short, walking enigma that went by 'Levi'.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Depending on response, I'll do the next chapter as this one from Levi's point of view if you'd like?


	10. A Long Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm feeling myself again and woke up raring to write the next chapter, so here we have the last two from Levi's point of view.  
> Also, have you seen this art?! http://zipra.tumblr.com/post/69767391075/th-this-is-really-f-fucking-bizarre-levi I am so utterly flattered, it's absolutely beautiful.  
> I'm gonna dedicate this chapter to Zipra for absolutely making my day.  
> Also, if anyone else draws anything or writes anything feel free to send it to me at keiiiro.tumblr.com because believe me when I say I'd friggin' love to see it.  
> Once again, I haven't actually checked this through yet so excuse any stupid mistakes or errors.

The stain on the plate refused to lift, no matter how hard Levi scrubbed, it was futile and the stain stayed remained; Mocking him as he rolled up his sleeves and practically hissed at it in his determination to shift it. He must have been stood there for over an hour, early in the morning, before the sun had even risen, hair in disarray and still in his uniform. The stain reminded him of Eren Jaeger, the Shifter with big green eyes that refused to leave his mind no matter how hard he tried to distract himself with cleaning or paperwork or inspection duties. He just couldn't seem to get the conversation they'd had last night out of his head, the boy confused atop the scaffolding, Levi admitting things that he barely admitted to himself. When he'd gotten back, he hadn't slept. He couldn't sleep after that, all he could see in his mind's eye were those big green eyes, the eyes of a kid thrust into a world of monsters. The eyes of someone resigned to it. 

In his haste to put the plate down it slipped from his hands and would have shattered if not for the inhuman reflexes of a certain commander that must have waltzed into the room while Levi wasn't paying attention.

"And this," Erwin said, standing straight and holding the plate up to Levi, "Is why I don't let you do the dishes at six in the morning."

"They shouldn't have  _not_ been done in the first place." Levi bit, snatching the plate out of an amused Erwin's hand and busying himself with putting it away into a cupboard. A heavy sigh and the sound of someone leaning against a counter made Levi frown, turning around, "Isn't it time for work, _Commander_?"

"There was another murder, I haven't slept, actually." He admitted sheepishly, rubbing a hand across the back of his neck with another tired sigh that came closer to a yawn. It was typical, one bad thing after another,

"Who was it this time?"

"Young girl," Erwin replied, quickly disguising a haunted look with one of a professional nature, "Can't have been more than twelve years old, no one's been able to identify her yet, Hanji's dealing with it."

Levi nodded mutely, rubbing a hand over his eyes and straightening out his uniform, skirting next to Erwin to pick his cravat off of the counter top, Erwin's hand closed around his wrist just as he grabbed the white fabric and Levi was forced to look up at him.

"That Shifter; Jaeger. You'll keep a close eye on him, I've put him under your supervision for a reason, Levi. Don't let me down."

"I won't." Levi dead panned, pulling his hand back and leaving the building without another word to his superior. Because he was right, Eren _was_ a threat because he was a whole new player in Erwin's game of chess. Now the killer was all out mocking them, killing young girls instead of his usual people connected directly to the military. This was new and it was making Erwin nervous. The killer had been toying with them all for years and not a trace had been found of him. It was enough to make even Erwin Smith blanch. Their last Commander hadn't been able to handle the public scrutiny and outrage that festered after the initial killings, fearing for his life he resigned peacefully and Erwin took up the sword. Also the business of turning new recruits into the monsters that fuelled the military.

As he stepped out into the early morning sun he held back the urge to shudder at the cold that hit him, using nimble fingers to tie the cravat tightly around his neck before pacing towards where his recruits should hopefully be lining up, to attention, ready to work. He'd certainly been given an intriguing bunch. Many held a lot of potential, some not so much but each of them were decent nonetheless. The quick wits of Armin Arlert had certainly gained Hanji's attention and the physical prowess of the half blood under her command had gained his. But as the two were affiliated with Jaeger, they would just have to make do with holding them back for a while. 

Though technically out of training, the recruits still needed work and weren't trusted to handle more complicated missions until later on under their supervisor's guidance. Initially, Levi had to admit that he wasn't taken by the idea of playing nanny to a group of brats but he had to grudgingly admit that they weren't all bad and at least they actually bothered trying to impress him when he asked them to clean. Most likely because they were scared of him. He had that effect on people. 

He crunched through the snow and rounded the main courtyard to find a bunch of yammering kids, they quickly silenced at his appearance and formed a straight line, standing alertly at attention, Mike Zacharias and Hanji's groups were also there but Levi quickly strode towards his, pacing in front of them. Usually he and his elite team were one of the only ones trusted with reconnaissance missions outside of the city but since Levi had...left and Jaeger came crashing into his life, fur and all, Erwin had spun the system on its head. 

He scanned the group quickly, perturbed to discover that Eren wasn't amongst them, one of Hanji's squad, the half blood Mikasa Ackerman, was whispering hurriedly to Arlert, leaving quickly when Levi approached them with a hurried, "I'll get him."  

Armin gave a solid salute when Levi approached, stammering out, "Good morning, sir."

"Where's Jaeger?"

Armin grimaced, "In bed, sir."

"Friggin' brat." and that was that, he turned on his heel and ordered the group of recruits into the regular building for morning clean up, breakfast and then training. He told the little shit that he wouldn't be able to get up if he spent all night up on the wall but of course, no one listens to Levi. Levi's too short to think rationally. He rolled his eyes with a pained breath and followed his team into the building they were assigned to. Getting tired of the crunch of snow underfoot the first thing he did when they got inside was tell them that they needed to shift if off of the building's courtyard so they didn't have to deal with it all day. They elected to do it as a team rather than argue about the duty and Levi left them to it, opting to collect paperwork off glasses for the day so he didn't need to do it later. At the rate he was going, at least he would have spare time to waste later.

He left Annie in charge for the short time he'd be gone because she honestly seemed the most sensible out of the group and left to look for shitty glasses. 

He found her in the usual place, her office, pouring over books on the supernatural. 

"Ah! Levi!" She chirped, jumping up and shoving a book into his face upon his entrance, he dodged it swiftly and Hanji very almost landed on her face, "No, wait, wait you've got to see this! The tests I've been running on Shifters!" she pouted and Levi tried to resist simply for the sake of being stubborn but the information on Shifter's was far too enticing for that,

He took the book out of her hands rather than allow her to open her mouth about it herself, he flicked through the pages, he already knew a lot of it. Shifters weren't like Eren, Eren was a completely different breed. His father injected him, left a scar, Shifters are usually similar in appearance to an animal-like horror but Eren just looked like an oversized furball, Eren could control it, Eren could get ill (unlike other Shifters), Eren this, Eren that. Bla, bla, bla.

"I already know all of this."

Hanji frowned, grabbing the book back and pointing madly at the tiny scrawled notes in all of the margins (that Levi had all out refused to read), "You missed my notes!" 

"You can talk like a normal person, you know, you don't need to shout."

"But it's just so exciting! I'll just tell you outright, Levi, this is a _massive_ breakthrough!" 

"Fine, I'll bite. What?" 

"Eren was given the curse, right? Through direct injection?"

"...Yes."

"Vampires and Shifters are turned through sharing blood, right? The last time we had a horror captured, I mixed Vampire blood with it!"

"What has that got to do with-"

"The entry site left the exact same scar that Eren has on his forearm!"

"Oh." Levi sat down on a chair, closing his mouth once he realised it was agape, "What does that mean?"

"I don't know yet, but this is something else. We're going to have to capture another horror for further testing, I'm going to have to appeal to Erwin for this, you'll help right? You care for Eren-"

"What gives you  _that_ idea? He's a subordinate and a complete brat."

She tutted away his protests and continued, waving a hand excitedly in the air, closing her book with the other, "You care for Eren enough to want to help him, this might help him, what if Vampire blood combats the disease? We're going to have to ask him to infect a horror- 

"You remember what happened to it, right?"

"I-" She began sadly but Levi cut her off.

"The thing killed itself, it ripped itself apart after you'd mixed the blood with it. You drove it to a literal psychosis, similar to the one you'd drive  _me_ to if you dared try that with Jaeger."

"I just-"

"No." Levi finished, putting his foot down, "I'm going to grab the paperwork Erwin left for me, then I'm going to go and do the report. Carry on with your shitty research just don't try anything life threatening with the brat, he's important, we need to keep him  _alive._ Maybe you should concentrate on why the liquid he was injected with was  _clear_ when the disease is spread through blood."

"Oh. _OH_." Hanji exclaimed, holding her hands in her hair. Levi hurriedly gathered up the paperwork on the desk and left before Hanji could wrangle him into more research. 

Thoughts swirled through his head and he adamantly refused the idea that he was worried for the Shifter of all things, he might have to talk to Erwin about this. He picked up on the commotion before he was faced directly with it, turning to hand the papers in his grasp to a confused soldier before skirting around the building and into the courtyard at the back, the snow had all been moved to his satisfaction, but that wasn't actually the first thing he noticed.

The first thing he noticed was a big ass dog with a man's arm in his mouth.

His heart jumped in his chest but he remained oddly at ease as he stepped forward, the people around him freezing as he did so. His brain quickly registered that there had been a fight, his side had been on the defensive, weapons had been pulled on his recruits.  _His_ recruits had been attacked. Eren had shifted in self defence, the attacker's ring leader was caught in a bear trap a check mate had been called. 

Eren's eyes were flashing wildly, that vivid green fuelled with hatred. Levi didn't feel in danger. Levi felt like Eren needed someone there to steady him. He understood that the boy was in control of the ability to Shift but whether or not he was in control of his temper was another game entirely. Much to the gasps of surprise from everyone surrounding, he walked right up to Eren and the man still sobbing hysterically and placed his hand on the top of Eren's muzzle. The effect was instantaneous, Eren slackening his grip, ears flattening and eyes swivelling to face him.

"Let him go."

Eren complied, the man stumbling back, one of the men that rushed forward to help fired a quick, "That fucking thing needs putting down!" But a quick glance from Levi soon silenced him. He must've looked quite a sight, the only one able to placate this massive creature.

Eren Jaeger, at the end of the day, was still a human being. 

"Take the injured to the Med Station and then get back to your posts." 

They all soon limped away, leaving him with a group of unnerved recruits, some mildly injured, but nothing serious. His most imminent problem was the fact that Eren was still growling lowly in the base of his throat, entire body practically quivering with a blood lust Levi recognised as something that wasn't even inhuman. 

"Calm down."

Jaeger closed his eyes but still seemed too on his toes for Levi's liking, 

"I said, calm down."

Finally Eren did, growing steady under his hand. Levi leaned forward slightly, speaking softly, "Good. Do you think you can shift back?"

Everything went quiet for a minute as Eren seemed to concentrate on that before shaking his head just slightly, Levi frowned, looking to his recruits all still gathered in silence, he was half proud that none of them looked scared, they'd done well. "Get back inside, I'll take it from here."

Once left outside alone with Jaeger he allowed his thumb to move in circles against Eren's fur, more as a distraction for himself than anything else, the kid had started whining and the noise pulled at Levi's chest a little. 

All he could think of was the previous night, the things he'd said, his warnings. He still stuck by them, still stuck by what he said. Life was shit, _people_ were shit and he only had himself to blame, but Eren? The kid was just unlucky, "Do you see what I meant now, kid? Do you understand me a little better?" It felt easy to talk to someone that wasn't going to answer back, "People are always going to think you're a monster. It's your job to prove them wrong. Going around biting chunks out of people isn't going to fucking help." He sighed heavily, reflecting on the truth of his words, moving his hand up to stroke the softer fur atop Eren's head. This could potentially spell death for Eren if Erwin caught wind of it, Levi would just have to vouch in the kid's defence that Eren had just been protecting, not only himself, but his whole squad. He'd also have to talk to Hanji, those squad members that had attacked looked to be under her command. Shit was going down if he didn't find out why the fuck they'd been allowed to do what they fucking like to  _his_ team. People didn't mess with his squad. They didn't get to do that.

They were out there for a long while, long enough for the hand unprotected by the warmth of Eren's fur to start to go numb before the boy shifted back into a Human. Levi's hand remained atop his head as Eren cried and vented his emotions, blood staining his face and shaking all the while. All Levi could do was crouch there and allow Eren time to gather himself up. 

Levi restrained the cringe as Eren sniffed loudly and looked up, "I'm sorry-" He began but Levi cut him off with a shake of his head,

"Don't apologise." He hated the idea of Eren apologising for something human when he was struggling enough as it was. It should be the idiots that barged in here that should be apologising and if Levi had his way, they would be and soon. Levi toyed with this concept before speaking again, "You'll have to stick close to me for a while. Today will have repercussions and after another murder last night Erwin is on edge as it is." Which was true, Eren would need to stay out of trouble if Levi was to get him out of this mess and the fact that others might try to avenge their friend's arm was an annoyance at best, he distractedly brushed the dirt from his jacket as he stood up, "Make sure you're never alone for the next few days or so. No more sitting up on the Scaffolding until early hours of the bloody morning."

He was met with piercing eyes and a slightly steadier expression, "Y-Yes sir."

"Good, now go get cleaned up inside, I'll be there in a second. I've got to talk to glasses about some of her unruly squad members that need disciplining." He tried to hold back how angry he was by the situation but most likely failed miserably. He was already tired with Hanji as it was and now this? This day just kept getting worse and worse. Levi turned away from Eren and started walking but something made him stop and turn around, something that he felt needed clarifying, 

"I appreciate you saving my life, Eren. Now do me a favour and don't get yourself killed." 

Eren looked surprised and Levi didn't hang around to receive a reply, opting to leave at that moment. When he got back around to the front of the building the soldier he'd passed the reports to was sat on the steps, paperwork one hand, chin in the other. He stopped walking and looked her up and down.

"You're still here."

"I didn't know where else to go and didn't want to be told off," She got to her feet and did a quick one handed salute, auburn hair bouncing in its ponytail, "I'm p-private Donnellan, sir." She held out the stack of papers and Levi took in the grubby fingerprints on them, rolling his eyes. If the day got any worse Hanji would be made Commander and they'd all have to listen to her tell bedtime stories about horrors she'd nicknamed. 

"Dismissed." Levi said, inspecting the papers with a small nod as he continued walking before something stupid could happen

"You have blood on your neck thingy!" A small shout issued behind him and Levi growled as he carried on, discreetly taking off his cravat and folding it into his pocket.

The more he walked the more the situation dawned on him and more his anger crept up. One of those soldiers could've killed any one of his team, his team that were too strong to pull a weapon on their fellow members of the military. Which was right too, just as he had taught them, he expected no less of them.

He stormed into Hanji's office fuming, carrying a distinct air of fury with him.

"Levi?" Hanji looked up from her tea, still pouring over her work, did she even train her recruits? He stomped forward, closing his hand around the neck of her uniform and yanking her up,

"Your men almost killed my squad."

"What?" Her eyebrows shot up and her glasses fell off her nose, "Is Eren okay? What happened? Where are they now?"

He leaned in so they were nose to nose, "Your men stormed my recruits, pulled weapons on them and Eren was forced to Shift in self defence." He figured that was what had happened, he admittedly hadn't stopped to get the full story. But the evidence was there and obvious, he very highly doubted that he was wrong.

"What, why?" Hanji gasped, eyebrows still raised,

"That's why I'm here, to ask you to find out and then deal with them like a Captain _should_." The last sentence wasn't shouted but rather spoken lowly. For all he complained about Hanji he actually somewhat regarded the psychotic as a friend, or at least, not an enemy, so there was that.And sometimes, just sometimes, he actually trusted her judgement. 

She twisted his hand away gently and got to her feet, picking up her glasses and putting them back on. When she turned around again, she had a dangerous look in her eyes, "Did you see exactly who it was?" 

"Well someone got bitten, so at least one of them will be in the Med bay if he didn't want to die of blood loss."

She nodded, picking up some things and turning to leave, "I'll sort this out, Levi, I will. I won't tolerate that sort of behaviour from  _anyone_ let alone my own squad."

Levi sighed as she left and grabbed his cravat out of his pocket to examine the small smattering of blood on its hem as he headed back to his squad. 

Typical.

* * *

 

Eren acted strange all day. He wasn't overly surprised due to this morning's events but it wasn't the type of strange the Levi would expect. It was the type of strange that set his teeth on edge, like a dodgy rifle waiting to go off. He didn't like rifles, he preferred his swords, two of them and he was damn good with them. He'd go as far as to say he was the best. But guns were too clunky, too unpredictable. At least he could trust a sword never to stab someone of its own accord. Unless that person was stupid enough to fall on it. In which case, maybe they deserved to be stabbed.

He occasionally stopped doing paperwork or scrubbing at the desk and just stared off into a wall or fidgeted madly, rubbing at his arms and hands. Arlert had noticed as well, he was always there to nudge Eren back into reality or start doing the work for him. Levi didn't mention it. But when Springer and Braus left for dinner and bed, Eren stayed and Levi didn't stop him. Armin came in later to grab Eren but Eren had zoned and Levi shooed him away, telling Arlert that he'd escort Eren back to the dorms later. 

It had to be something to do with the full moon, he couldn't see any other explanation. Able to control it or not, Eren was still a Shifter and Shifters were influenced by the moon. 

The next few hours went by slowly as Levi finished up his jobs with many , 'Sorry, sir's and strange remarks from Eren. 

When Jaeger started scrubbing the table with all his might at an unusual speed, a concentrated expression evidently hiding violent thoughts, Levi grabbed his arm and shocked him from his reverie.

It was when Levi started probing Eren for the reason behind his odd behaviour that Eren freaked out and left. Which confirmed one thing in Levi's mind, Eren thought he'd be executed if they found out if the full moon effected him. It made sense to a degree but at the same time Levi couldn't help but feel that Eren was keeping too much stuff to himself, being secretive wasn't a practical trait when he had to learn to entrust his life to his comrades. In fact it even went as far as perturbing Levi a fair amount. 

Levi let Eren leave, watching him go before taking off his headscarf and mouth cover, hurriedly putting them away in a cupboard for future use, pulling on his jacket and following after Eren. The brat knew better than to leave alone, but said brat obviously wasn't in his right mind as it was. He wasted no time in stuffing his hands into his pockets when he stepped outside, looking up to the sky as he should the large, wooden door behind him. The clouds were thick and heavy with snow, it wouldn't be long before they'd open up. 

An arm on his shoulder stopped him from following in Jaeger's direction. 

"Oh, Levi, just the man I was looking for!" 

"Commander?" He replied, turning to face Erwin, tapping his foot. He couldn't be too obvious that he needed to get going else Erwin would be suspicious but at the same time the longer he left Jaeger alone, the more chance that the brat would have to get into trouble.

"The report I asked you for yesterday? It didn't arrive at my office."

 "It's inside." Levi huffed, re-opening the large door and stepping back inside, Erwin in tow really, seriously attempting not to be overly short with the man.

Once Erwin was gone and Levi was left alone again he set off at a jog, the only people outside in this cold were the unfortunates on patrol and watch. Snow billowed around him as the heavens opened up and the temperature bit at him in a way only the cold could. It was again, typical of the luck he seemed to be having that day. Feet pounded against the ground, crunching occasionally in half-heartedly swept up snow, breath billowing behind him in clouds of white as he used his more inhuman senses to catch on to the scent that Eren had left behind. Something deep in him told him before he rounded the corner that Jaeger had gotten caught up in some shit. He just hoped to whatever god there may be that the boy hadn't Shifted or killed anyone.

He regretted that thought when he reached the alley the scent led him to.

He half wished that Eren  _had_ shifted.

But instead he was just laying there, limp but not lifeless as three full grown men (drunk by the smell of it) let loose on to him, showering him in kicks and profanity. Another thing he could smell was blood, it was sharp on the air, accentuated by the cold and carried on the breeze. Levi must have stood there for a second, maybe more, before he stepped forward, attitude switched and ready to fight. 

The first man he caught from behind, drawing his swords, silencing him with a swift butt of a pommel to the head. The sound his body made when he hit the floor was grimly satisfying. Two turned on him, Levi dodged the first punch sending a sharp right handed jab into his ribs, the man cursed, doubling over, Levi finished him off by burying his elbow into the middle of his shoulder blades and a quick boot to the face. The third was caught now between fight and flight, Levi made the choice for him copying the same move from before and smacking the pommel of his sword just under the man's ear, shoving him to the floor. 

It was all finished in no more than twenty seconds. Levi sheathed his swords again and crouched in front of Eren, snow beginning to build over the shaking boy's frame. Dark hair covered his face and Levi pushed it away, examining him. "What did I say? What did I fucking say? Don't go out alone, so what do you do? You go out alone, of course you do. No one ever fucking listens to me."

Eren opened his eyes and stared at him dazedly, "Levi?"

"Yes, dipshit; Levi. Can you move?"

Eren whispered his reply with a voice cracked with pain, blood dripping off of him, "I- I think so." He started to pull himself up, hissing every so often as he did, standing on wobbly feet, Levi wound his arm around Eren's waist and pulled the kid's arm around his neck. 

"Why is it I always need to pull your sorry ass out of trouble?"

"It's because I have a really nice ass." The reply caught Levi off guard and he rolled his eyes, pulling Eren tighter as they made their way forward. 

Eren was obviously too out of it to put up his usual barriers. "Someone has concussion." 

"Maybe," the boy admitted with a rueful chuckle, hanging his head forward slightly, snow getting caught up in it, "also broken ribs." he hissed and Levi slackened his grip on Eren just slightly, opting to lead him back to his own quarters rather than to Hanji, who would probably report this to Erwin and ask far too many questions. If Eren was ever labelled a threat a part of Levi understood that he probably wouldn't even be executed, just subjected to rigorous, dangerous testing and experimentation to help them learn more about his kind. Like an animal- Hell, like worse than an animal.

When they got in and Levi somehow managed to half carry Eren up the stairs, he made sure Eren was propped steadily in a chair before he started digging around for first aid, wiping his hands on a piece of cloth that had been sat on his desk, rubbing the tips of his fingers together and trying to ignore the stickiness of Eren's blood. Repeating a mantra to himself in his head, ' _It does not smell good_.' 

"You are filthy." He mused out loud for Eren's benefit. Got to make sure the kid hadn't blacked out on him.

"Is that a compliment?" Eren shot back and the reply, for the second time that evening, managed to completely take Levi off guard.

"Why would that be a compliment-" He turned to look at sad, resigned green eyes and sighed lowly, spinning back to continue looking for a med-kit. Someone needed to knock some sense into the idiot, convince him that there was fucking hope yet and not to look like the world had taken a huge, steaming shit on his entire life. Nothing was completely ruined, not as long as he still had someone willing to search through a cold office in the dead of night for fucking alcohol and bandages. 

He found them in the top drawer of his desk and tried not to curse the fact that he'd left the most obvious hiding spot until last. Once again, typical of the day he was having.

Using one hand to drag a chair forward he sat himself down, taking Eren's chin between his thumb and forefinger and pulling him forward, setting down the necessary items from the tin in his lap and using his spare hand to pull the worst of the glass from Eren's face after a quick, 'This will twinge' and a self pitying reply of 'Most things do' from Jaeger. He half wished he'd given those responsible a harsher beating rather than simply knocking them out cold. Maybe he'd be lucky and they'd freeze to death.

He dipped cotton in alcohol before pressing it to the open wounds marring Eren's face, he hissed between clenched teeth and try to pull back, but Levi held him firmly in place,

"So you lie there and take a beating from three Vampires but alcohol? No." 

After a while of tending to Eren, wrapping him with bandages and taking off his boots and jacket, Levi's curiosity got the better of him. He needed answers before Eren fell asleep, and the way the kid's eyelids were drooping, was going to be sooner rather than later. At least he was tired rather than in pain anymore. He may not be Hanji but he definitely knew how to patch people up. 

"Spill it, kid."

Eren frowned, already staring at Levi, "Pardon?"

"I said spill it, why are you acting like more of a freak than usual?"

The expression that passed over Eren's face was one of acceptance and in that moment Levi knew he was getting answers.

"The full moon does affect me, it makes me want to Shift as well as triggering gaps in memory- I forget things, little things or big things. I remember one time I went missing for five hours and turned back up at home, Mikasa has never been able to figure out where I went and I- I just can't remember at all. I lose control sometimes, want to- want to kill things. I'm sorry, if you want to report this to Commander Erwin I completely understand, just please realise that neither Mikasa or Armin have anything to do with it. It's all on my head."

Eren just confirmed everything that Levi had already suspected and he had to hold back a sigh of relief. It wasn't as bad as Eren apparently thought, these were all things they could work on, things that could be helped. Levi fought with himself for a moment on whether he should tell Erwin before coming to the conclusion that if he did, Eren didn't need to know about it. Something nagged at him though and he turned back to Jaeger, "You seem alright now." It was true, the shaking had stopped and Eren looked at peace. At peace and exhausted but for the most part, back to normal. 

"I actually don't feel the need to shift at all right now." Another piece of evidence that it could be trained, that  _Eren_ could be trained. 

"And you still don't want to die?"

 "No."

"Then I won't tell Erwin."

Eren was practically sent reeling at these words, a strange mixture of emotions radiating throughout the room. Relief, apprehension, disbelief. Anger. A lot of Anger.

All Levi could do was stare into those furious green eyes as Eren started on him,  "But, maybe, maybe it's for the best? I'm a threat to people, I could kill someone. You'd just let that happen?"

_Yes, because the thought of you dying makes me want to set myself alight._

"You're useful to the military."

_You're not a bad person._

Eren stood so sharply that his chair went falling backwards with a crash, "Oh I'm useful? Useful for what? You fucking bastards barely even do anything, the threat is still out there and here we are, just sat waiting here like pigs to the slaughter!"

_We're training you for Recon Missions but I can't tell you._

He crossed his legs, "Calm down."

"No! I won't calm down! I am tired of losing people, I am tired of putting up with this fucking disease day after day, to have to physically restrain myself occasionally to not rip someone's throat out. H-How am I meant to convince other people not to be scared of me _when I am scared of myself_? Levi? H-How..." 

And Levi's heart was doing funny little flips and his stomach felt like it was going to eject itself and he just sat there as Eren's knees connected with the ground and he knelt in front of Levi for the second time that shitty day. 

How was he meant to contain himself as the boy openly sobbed in front of him? It physically pained him to watch it, someone so potentially strong willed and determined reduced to something so small. How was he meant to stop himself from pulling Eren against his chest and wishing for him to stop crying, to urge him take a step back and realise that the world had so much potential in amidst so much pain. Just like Eren himself. He buried his fingers in Eren's hair, hushing him quietly as he frowned against Eren returning the embrace. Years spent building walls, blocking people out only for him to jump off the top and be caught in the embrace of a Shifter that saved his life when he least wanted to be saved.

 "There's no point crying, Eren. The only thing you can do is carry on and do your best, life is a cruel thing but never mistake it as being hopeless." He lifted Eren up, guiding him to the bed at the side of the room and placing him down into it, prompting the kid to sleep before he got more snot on Levi's jacket or before Levi had the chance to bury himself deeper in this predicament he'd found himself in. 

He needed to leave, to get away from it all, to suppress the aching in his chest. It felt strange, unnatural. 

"Wait, stay."

"What?"

"I feel like me when you're around. I don't feel dangerous. Please just...Stay?"

_Fuck_. 

And that's how Levi found himself jacket and bootless, sat in a chair next to Eren Jaeger.

"You can sleep in the bed if you want?" 

_Good idea._ Bad idea.

"Just go to sleep, brat."

Eren mumbled, too tired now to remember he was upset as amusement touched his eyes for a second, "Sorry, sir."

Eren was asleep only a few seconds after that, Levi listened as the boy's heart slowed to an even pace and his breathing morphed into something a little less pained. He'd need Hanji to check out those ribs tomorrow whether Eren wanted to or not. It was cold and that bed looked warm. Levi's conflicting emotions argued with him for a good hour before he resigned himself to that fact that two nights without sleep would do nothing for his mood  _or_ his awareness. It was entirely military business. He was simply a Captain that needed sleep. There was nothing informal about this whatsoever and had nothing to do with the presence of one Eren Jaeger in said bed. 

It had everything to do with Eren.

The little shit had turned his life upside down and didn't even seem to realise it as he slept there without a care.

Shit, the only reason he still  _had_ a life was because of Eren.

He quietly shuffled into the bed, tugging the sheets around him, breath freezing in his mouth as Eren hummed softly, wrapping his arms around Levi's body. Anyone else, had it been  _anyone_ else they'd be nursing a black eye. Maybe a broken arm. Maybe two.

But Levi caught Eren's expression and sighed into the touch. Why'd the idiot have to be so fucking cute? With his stupid green eyes and stupid emotional responses and- 

_Shit._

He had never intended for this to happen. 

But a little part of him,

just a small one,

that nagged at him like Hanji with a new idea,

was so fucking happy that it had. 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a long chapter as apologies for the extended break.  
> Again, this was for Zipra and the beautiful art.


	11. Hard Truths

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I think I'm going to have to promise that I'll upload a chapter a week and maybe two if you're lucky. I'm just buried in far too much coursework to keep up the every four day release thing. Sorry for mistakes it's 5:10 am (why am I awake).

He thought he was dreaming when he woke up after an embrace of murky pitch and mindless wanderings through his psyche. Walking through the forest again, human form, finding a stranger with a familiar face drenched in blood and sweat, wild eyes landing upon Eren's as he raised his blunted swords and took a defensive stance. The man was perhaps too proud to ask for help, or perhaps Eren didn't know enough about him. He felt as if he knew everything. But he didn't. He didn't.

This man with the angry eyes and coating of mystery.

Eren didn't know a thing. 

So that's how Eren thought he was dreaming when he fluttered open his eyelids to find himself faced with a peaceful expression on a usually troubled face. Limbs intertwined, Eren was half surprised that he could tell which were his. The previous night swam back to him in a dull blur but Eren wasn't interested in the past right at that moment. He was more interested in the dark lashes against Levi's cheeks and the little breaths he'd take in through his nose and release in a small huff from his mouth, the way his lips moved in tandem with the rise and fall of his chest. The way he was on his side, facing Eren the same way Eren was mirroring his position. 

The way their legs overlapped and the way their arms and hands were intertwined beneath the sheets. Eren swallowed quietly, fighting back a rising urge to press their chests together and hold Levi close. Levi struck him as the kind of man that needed a hug. Levi also struck him as the kind of man that would decapitate the first person to try it so naturally, he held back his urges. 

But he was so damn  _pretty_ with long dark eyelashes and thick black hair and the way he breathed in little puffs and Eren just wanted to trace the scars cutting across Levi's bare shoulders and arms, sleeves of his undershirt rolled up and shoulder poking out from the sheets. There were too many scars marring that porcelain skin and Eren wanted to wipe them away. Alas, the notion was stupid and life would be far too easy if you could simply wipe away scars with the wave of a hand so Eren swiftly disregarded the thought and waited for reality to hit him. The reality that he was sharing a bed with, not only a man he'd met just a few weeks ago but a superior officer. 

The reality never really did hit him but the sun's rays flooding in through the window did and Eren glanced up to watch snow fall past the pane in great lumps of white. It was far less interesting than Levi, though, so he turned his eyes back down only to find Levi's eyes open and watching him carefully. They didn't speak for a moment, just studied each other. Almost as if sizing each other up but Eren couldn't bring himself to recognise how strange it was because it all felt so stupidly natural and a little bubbling feeling at the bottom of his stomach alerted him to feelings that perhaps were unsuitable but too painful just to tuck away and suppress. Levi's eyes met his and he was reminded of what they'd been through, the expressions he'd seen pass over those eyes and felt oddly honoured for it. Levi was steel and ice, or so Eren had thought. Eren was beginning to think that presuming things was a bad idea when it came to Levi. After a while of flitting in and out of sleep, Eren was the first to speak, muttering words he'd been dwelling on for too long.

"What were you doing in the forest, that night I met you?"

Levi remained silent, eyes closing and thin, dark brows furrowing. Eren left the silence hanging, if the man wanted to tell him, he would. But Eren certainly wasn't going to push the issue and shatter the strange air of peace that had settled around them. 

"Getting into trouble." Levi half whispered, eyes downturned and the answer supplied more questions than it had answered but for now Eren was content with getting a reply at all. Levi sighed heavily, raising a hand to press against Eren's chest, fingers warm through his shirt. The boy froze and took a sharp intake of breath through parted lips, almost cautiously watching and Levi's expression grew hard as grey eyes met green.

"Keep this beating, do you hear me?" He pushed against Eren's chest,  "Keep it beating."

Eren wasn't suicidal, Eren wanted to be alive, but sometimes it was hard to keep that promise to himself when it seemed that fate wanted the opposite, "Why? Why do you care?"

"You're not supposed to question orders, brat, you're supposed to carry them out." Levi replied with what was supposed to be a sharp edge to his tone but it just made Eren feel oddly warm.

"On one condition, sir."

"Who said anything about conditions? Didn't you just hear what I sai-"

"You do the same."

Levi fell quiet at that and Eren waited for a reply but never received one this time, silence blanketing them like the snow outside the window, after a while Levi's forehead came to rest against Eren's collar and the hand on his chest remained steadfast. Hair tickled his neck as Eren dared to rest his chin against the top of the man's head. Eren wondered for the second time so far that day if he was still dreaming. Levi was impossible to predict, a strange new puzzle piece in the jigsaw of Eren's life. A jigsaw that Eren thought he had completed years ago.

Apparently fate had other ideas.

Nestled under the sheets their peace was stolen when a flurry of sharp knocks of the door penetrated the silence,

"Levi? Are you in there- I know you're in there it  _smells_ like you- Whew, I sound like Mike."

"Damn shitty glasses." Levi growled and Eren chuckled as the man stretched lazily and rolled out of the bed, Eren would vehemently deny the way his eyes locked on to the shifting of muscles under the man's skin as he walked, hips swaying in a way that was really unfair and stupidly good looking. His eyes strayed from the man's exposed shoulder down and down to the way his shirt had  hitched slightly up to reveal pale hips and the smooth curve of muscle sloping below trousers accentuating the curve of his ass and with a very small groan Eren buried his face into the pillow as heat pooled in his lower abdomen. 

So much for strictly platonic feelings.

Thanks for that, Levi, thanks for being weird and good looking and ruining Eren's peace with your nice ass and defined muscles.

Flushed, Eren kept his face hidden in the pillow but listened carefully to the conversation that ensued, "We were all wondering where you were."

"Eren managed to get into more trouble last night. Someone had to make sure he didn't keel over." Cue Eren rolling his eyes.

"You're late to training, Erwin's taken your squad and is informing them about the upcoming Recon Mission."

Something in the atmosphere shifted subtly at that, "When is it?"

"We're due to leave Trost tomorrow. You...You knew that, right?"

" _No."_

Leave? Leave where?

"Oh. Well, now you do, I suppose. How did you not know? Everyone knows." Hanji sounded practically giddy with excitement.

"No, no, glasses you must have misheard." His voice grew dangerously low, "I didn't know."

"Everyone was meant to be informed, Erwin did it himself, how could he have not told you?"

"...Must have slipped his mind."

Out of many things Eren knew about Erwin one thing was for certain. Nothing slipped Erwin's mind. He was strategic, he'd obviously not told Levi for a reason and everyone in the room realised this as it fell silent for moment.

"Oh, also, you and a couple of recruits are overdue for Vampire business" Eren could practically  _hear_ Hanji's wink.

Eren heard Levi's hand as it rubbed against his face and the man grumbled something under his breath before the door shut -presumably in Hanji's face- and Levi trudged over and sat on the edge of the bed. Eren finally peaked out from the pillow as Levi buried his face in his hands, elbows digging into his thighs. He was nowhere near daring enough to pull Levi back into bed but the thought lingered there for a moment as he took in Levi's general unease.

"What's the matter?"

"You'll find out soon enough." He murmured in reply, breathing in deeply and out once before standing up again and rolling his shoulders, "Hurry up and get dressed we've got work to do and we've already slept in."

"Yes, sir." Eren smirked, climbing out of bed. As soon as his feet touched the floor he took an unsteady stumble, strong hands grabbing him before he could completely fall over. His entire body  _ached_. But he just needed to walk it off, he'd be fine, he all out refused to take any leave or bed rest. He brushed off Levi with a small, "I'm fine." and limped towards his jacket. He needed a clean one, really, but this was all he had. 

As if reading his mind, a piece of cloth hit the back of his head and Eren stooped over to pluck the shirt from the floor, "At least wear a different shirt underneath it, you're beginning to reek." Levi had already put his jacket on and was fastening the silver buttons. 

Eren shrugged and pulled off his shirt, trying to ignore the stinging cuts on his face and neck as well as the flashes of pain that would ripple up his side if he twisted too much. He probably looked a mess, but if he did, Levi didn't let on. Once his shirt was off, he had the opportunity to examine his body. Where white bandages weren't covering his torso, he was practically stained purple with bruises mottling his body he'd barely even recovered from his spill over the wall and he was already injured again, perfect, he'd have a hard time explaining this one to Mikasa. He realised that Levi had gone silent, no longer fiddling with clothing and turned around. The man was staring, his usual nonchalant expression barely covering up the pinching of his lips or the way his eyebrows creased in the middle, eyes a little wider than usual. The man was angry, hopefully not at Eren, but definitely angry.

"I should have kicked their fucking asses"

"What?"

"No matter what you are; you're still a comrade, how could they..." Levi trailed off, shaking his head in disbelief, "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. People are full of shit."

"Yeah, well, not all of them. Besides I could've taken them," Eren scoffed, "I just didn't want to."

Levi just shook his head bemusedly. 

It was a while (and Levi having to help him get his jacket on) before they left the quarters, straying out into the white expanse of snow that covered everything. With practically every step they took through it Levi made a little 'tch' noise in the back of his throat and Eren couldn't help but find the way the other would walk through the snow by lifting each foot rather high because of his height positively hilarious and had to physically restrain himself from laughing once more than one glare was shot his way at his occasional snort. Levi also made sure that Eren stamped off almost every molecule of snow once they'd arrived at the door because he 'Didn't want that filth trudged around his clean building' of course, everything would have gone smoothly and Eren would have stepped into the warmth.

Had a snowball not slammed into the back of Levi's head.

It was as if time itself stood still, waiting in anticipation for Levi's next move. Eren turned just in time to see someone dive into the courtyard.

So it was one of their squad.

By the look on Levi's face and the way his fingers started to stroke at the pommels of the swords strapped at his sides someone was going to get  _murdered_.

Eren waited for a moment, carefully discerning his captain's movements before stammering out a quick, "I'll go see who...Um, I'll just go around the back way." needing no further excuse, Eren pelted through the snow and skidded into the courtyard, met with his entire squad all gathered into a tightly knit circle, Mikasa was even there today (evidently through with Hanji's meddling and testing). She turned to him first, face lighting up in that funny way it did when Eren was nearby and jogged over to him, followed by Armin, also struggling with the snow. Mikasa grabbed his wrist and pulled him into their huddle. 

"Reiner did you do it?" Sasha poked Reiner in the side and he nodded grimly,

"Yep, I did it."

"Eren did you see his face? We didn't get a clear shot!" Connie grinned madly and Eren just nodded dumbly, 

"G-Guys we're gonna get really badly told off for that." Bertholdt spoke up, raising an eyebrow in Reiner's direction who just nodded again, face pale. Annie was rolling her eyes but also looked just as enraptured by the events as everyone else.

"Have you seen Eren's face?" Armin giggled with a slightly manic edge, "He looks like a man that stared into the eyes of death itself."

"I..I think I did." Eren replied and Marco slapped him heartily on the back over Mikasa, Jean jabbed him in the ribs and Christa added a quick, "If this goes badly, we're all toast."

"Yeah, well, these morons thought it was a good idea." Ymir piped up over Marco and Jean's ensuing elbowing fight.

"I thought it was  _your_ idea!" Connie protested and Ymir shrugged, "Well yeah, but I didn't think you would actually have the guts to do it-"

She was interrupted by Reiner yelping loudly and falling face first into the snow with a muffled 'pffmph'; a snow ball plastered to the back of his blonde hair. They all turned then at varying speeds, terrified expressions facing a dangerous looking Captain Levi, tossing a snowball (that looked more like a sharpened chunk of ice) up and down in one hand, the other filled with more.

They were too slow to react as the second snowball hit Jean square in the face, knocking him backwards with a resounding yelp similar to Reiner's, Marco looked torn between laughing and worried for his life. Mikasa grabbed Eren and Armin first as the dived to the side, the courtyard having precisely zero cover to hide from killer snowballs. She and Annie exchanged a quick look and both stooped to start making their own snowballs, grabbing fistfulls of snow as they stayed on the move, dodging any incoming ice bombs. Connie wasn't so lucky, getting hit with two in the face almost simultaneously, Sasha dissolved into laughter that was cut off by a snowball to the chest.

Jean had successfully, if unsteadily gotten to his feet, only to be knocked down by another missile. Marco at this point was laying low and trying not to laugh too hard at Jean's misfortune.

Levi was zigzagging in and out, not being hit by a single one of Annie and Mikasa's attempts at return fire. Ymir picked up on their game and joined in with the counter attack, others following in their stead. Armin gave Eren a look that practically begged him to join in and Eren shrugged, expression tilting mischievously, "Let's spice this up a little, no fair everyone ganging up on our superior officer, right?"

Armin laughed, bending down to compact a snowball in his hands before throwing it at Christa, it hit her shoulder and she cried out in surprise, jolting forward into Ymir who turned to look at Armin with a glare that could rival Levi's. Everyone had frozen again, staring at Armin who just shrugged and threw another, hitting Jean hard enough to knock him over once again after his second attempt at standing up. This time Jean remained on the floor with a defeated expression. Marco had simply dissolved into tears of hysterical laughter at a mixture of Jean's hopelessness, Levi looking ready to murder armed only with snowballs and a group of teenagers taking a snowball fight so seriously. 

It then descended into chaos, at some point someone shouted, "Every man for himself." and _some_ people (See: Connie building his own snow fort) took that a little too seriously.

Mikasa even got in a few good shots at Levi. Eren, bruises still aching, was grateful and slightly touched that Levi wasn't actually aiming any at him. None at his torso, anyway, his uninjured cheek was still fair game, apparently. 

The fight lasted until everyone aside from Levi and Mikasa admitted defeat, panting and shuddering with the cold, Mikasa was still glaring at Levi for the snowball to Eren's face and Levi seemed annoyed at the snow now sticking to his uniform and would melt into a sodden mess as soon as he got warm and was picking at it in annoyance. 

"Before we go in, I need somebody to update me on Erwin's report from earlier."

"I can do that." Armin nodded, taking a breath, "We're to go on a mission out into the forests tomorrow in order to capture two horrors for further study. We leave at day break and return at dusk."

Levi nodded slowly, composure in place although Eren was sure something was bothering the man. 

"Alright, you brats get inside before I decide that I want you shovelling this snow away." 

They needed no more incentive than that, quickly huddling into the warm building and Eren could feel the turmoil rolling off of Levi as Armin and Mikasa were the last to enter, Mikasa giving Eren a quick questioning look before Eren shooed her ahead. He turned to his captain, Levi's nose and cheeks flushed red with cold, expression the same as ever, just this time, Eren knew something was definitely off.

"Can I ask what's wrong?"

"Yes."

Silence.

"Are you going to actually answer the question?"

"No." Levi sighed, stepping up the steps and in through the door, ushering Eren in and closing the door to keep out the cold. Eren was almost surprised that he hadn't bothered stamping off his boots this time. 

"Your friend, Arlert. Ask him what today is." Levi muttered cryptically before turning off into a room and closing the door behind him with an air of finality. Curiosity carrying his feet, Eren walked through the hall and turned up the stairs, ignoring people that tried to catch his attention. He jogged up the steps and made a left, turning into the study, presumably where Armin was. Armin was usually in the study, afterall, he'd wanted to join the military for the books, why squander that now he had it?

Eren was, of course, correct in his presumptions and found Armin brushing snow off his shoulders as he looked through the bookshelves lining the walls, a freshly made fire burning in the heater to the corner of the room. Armin turned to greet Eren but was cut off promptly by Eren's question,

"Armin, what day is it today?"

"Um, Thursday?" 

"No, no I meant is there anything significant about today in general?" Eren questioned further, almost eager to find out what was bothering Levi so much. Almost dreading to find out.

Armin fell quiet, shuffling his feet and staring at his boots, "Well, uh, today is when Vampires have to dose up on Human blood. It's the monthly thing, it's um...It's also the day recruits that haven't been turned yet need to be turned."

Eren and Armin both went silent.

"You haven't been turned yet."

"No, I haven't." Armin agreed.

Further silence.

"Is it dangerous?"

"Yes."

This time the silence went on for a while. Armin, not being able to take the tension rising, grabbed a book and pulled his chair in front of the fire, pulling his knees up to his chest and flicking through the pages as Eren stood there and tried to understand what was happening. Feeding day and Armin may be turned. 

Levi's turmoil.

Eren was suddenly drawn back into that night in which he'd overheard Armin's and Jean's conversation and something clicked into place. Armin was scared and Eren couldn't allow that. He physically couldn't allow it, he couldn't deal with the thought that this may potentially kill Armin. Being turned- he'd only heard rumours about it. An exchange of blood, pain, sometimes it wouldn't work, sometimes it killed you if you weren't strong enough, sometimes the recipient was blinded. Sometimes paralysed. He'd heard all sorts of stories.

But it being confirmed made it all the worse.

"We could-" He started but Armin smacked his book shut and met Eren's eyes.

"I'm going through with it, Eren. I'm not a child that needs to be coddled. I can do this and I'm going to do this." The words were confident but the way his voice wavered with anxiety was not, "The reason Christa, Marco and Connie are human is because they scored in the top ten of the recruits. I wouldn't score top ten, Eren, I'm not even particularly athletic but if this goes right, I could be at least as strong as everyone else. I can go on the mission with you tomorrow, I refuse to be left behind. Not after all these years. Y-You were there for me after my mum and dad died  and my grandfather..." He trailed off for a moment before diving back in, "I need to do this. For myself as much as for anyone else. Let me do this."

Armin was visibly shaking and Eren took a hesitant step forward, "I trust you. I trust you, I do, if...If you think this is best I trust your judgement."

He did and he didn't. He was torn. Fury bit and bubbled within him, anger that he thought had died years ago along with his previous life. He needed to direct his fury at something and so he decided the horrors were as good a target as any, he wanted to rip them apart, to smear them from the face of the earth. 

"Eren." Armin warned, watching Eren's hands beginning to shake. 

He promptly clenched them into fists, folding his arms.

He'd need to talk to Levi about this, maybe the Vampire could shed some much needed clarity on the situation. Plus the way the man calmed Eren down came in handy for times like these.

"Eren, don't worry about me, I'm sure it'll be fine."

Eren scoffed.

When was anything ever fine?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also planning a super special Christmas chapter that isn't Christmassy but will have art and a lot of plot happenings and may even be extra long. Because I love you guys~ I can also pretty much guarantee that you'll get another chapter before Christmas as I am on holiday now.


	12. All That is Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some much needed backstory presented in this chapter as well as an unhappy event. I gotta warn you guys, the tags are there for a reason and those reasons will soon make themselves known. Just a heads up.  
> For the millionth time, sorry for stupid mistakes~

 

Eren marched out of the stuffy study, grudgingly admitting to himself that he was half disappointed that Armin didn't trail after him. He needed something to take his frustration out on and the sound of Jean bossing orders downstairs made his skin tingle in anticipation. A good fight was great for relieving stress, a few bruised knuckles were what he needed. He could add them to his ever growing collection of wounds and bruises, his body seemed to be taking the job of becoming a walking scrap book of his messes pretty well. He wasn't dead  _yet_ at least. 

"Eren we need to talk."

He must have leapt at least three foot into the air, spinning around to face Mikasa, leaning on the banister to the stairs, her expression impassive, "Mikasa," He put a hand to his heart as if touch alone would steady its erratic beating, "don't sneak up on me like that."

"I didn't..." She shook her head, fingers twisting into her scarf, "Eren, we need to talk."

"Yeah, I got that part." 

She ducked her head and took Eren by his forearm, leading him into the room opposite the study. It was just a spare bedroom, two beds lining either wall, a small writing desk crammed between the two and a window smack bang in the middle of the wall, lending a glimpse into the snow that had once again began to fall from the grey clouds above. She sat herself down on the bed to the left, tucking her legs underneath her in a position that sent his mind reeling to happier days sat on the window seat in their home discussing everything and nothing and daydreaming their life away. It was a moment before she actually spoke, fingers still knitting into her scarf with something that was less nerves and more apprehension. Eren stood still and waited for her to talk first. 

"Eren, lift up your shirt."

"W-What?" He stammered, folding his arms and popping a hip, "Why?"

"Eren." She warned lowly, hands falling into her lap as Eren ran a hand over his face, undid the buttons of his jacket and rolled up his shirt, pointedly looking away from Mikasa as he did so. She obviously had already picked up on the way he limped and the scratches up his face and neck, she'd bided her time with asking and frankly Eren was surprised she hadn't pinned him down earlier and battered him for answers, Mikasa was his family and there was no way he could keep this from her. Still, it'd be nice not to make her worry and default into coddle-mode.

The bed creaked as she got to her feet but Eren remained resolutely staring away, eyes fixated on a smudge to the right of the floor as he dropped his shirt back down and refused to say a thing, she had every right to be angry he'd let her down so much already, what would his mother say? It was always, 'Mikasa, look after Eren', 'Mikasa make sure Eren doesn't get into trouble again' and time and time again Eren's ass had to be saved by his adopted sister. He tensed a little as she padded over and what she did next shouldn't really have surprised him but it did nonetheless, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug, a hand reaching around the back of his head to prompt Eren into burying his face into her shoulder. He did just that.

"I'm sorry." she whispered, "I'm sorry I couldn't stop that from happening to you- I'm sorry I wasn't there- I'm sorry I-"

"Mikasa..."

"It won't happen again, I promise-"

"Mikasa, I-"

"I won't allow it."

"Mikasa. Mikasa, no." 

"If someone touches you ever again they are going  _down-"_

"Mikasa." Eren pulled away, holding her shoulders at arm's length, "It's okay, it's okay I promise. I'm fine. I'm almost _eighteen_ now, I can look after myself."

She raised a slender eyebrow and Eren chuckled because, yeah he supposed saying something like that under the current circumstances probably sounded ridiculous. 

"Eren you need to tell me what happened."

"Why? Why does it always end up in you protecting me? What if you got hurt in the process, how would  _I_ feel?"

"If I got hurt, you'd probably blame yourself, you'd probably be wanting an explanation and start taking me under your wing, you'd go absolutely insane and try to decapitate whoever did it to me."

Eren paused, looking her up and down before admitting defeat. "Okay, okay, I get it. Fine, I'll explain just don't freak out okay?"

"No promises." She teased quietly, grabbing his forearm for the second time and leading him to sit next to her on the bed.

"Will Levi be okay with us just shirking duties?" Eren tested, settling his back against the cool wall and allowing Mikasa to lean on him.

"Probably not."

They smiled a little as Eren began, "Okay, where do you want me to start?"

"Armin filled me in on what had happened after you didn't go back to your dormitories, he told me about you Shifting and defending yourself."

Eren held back an indignant cry, Armin had promised him he wouldn't tell Mikasa, "Oh- uhm yeah," he cleared his throat and continued, "Yeah, that sounds right. Some assholes thought they could blame me for some shit a Shifter did to their family a while back..." He trailed off because he  _did not_ need a reminder on how much he also blamed himself and no matter how hard he tried, he knew the self-loathing there was always going to remain. He filled Mikasa in on the entire story, his hazy memory making it difficult to fill a lot of gaps but he tried anyway. He left out his new kinship with their Squad Leader and simply made out that Levi was luckily there on time to save the day and make sure he survived through the night. He'd try explaining his bizarre interactions with Levi to someone after he himself had figured it out.

Mikasa remained thoughtfully silent after the story had finished.

"Do you remember the day you found me?"

Eren cringed at the memory, huddling closer into her, "Not an easy thing to forget."

"No, I suppose not." She mused steadily, pulling her scarf up over her chin.

Mikasa's parents had lived on the outskirts of town and her father had been a Vampire, mother a Human. Just a few years ago Vampires had been hated enough as it was and interbreeding to produce half bloods was about as taboo as it got. Extremists took it to heart. Many Vampires were murdered, offspring too and the unlucky Human made an example of, public humiliation. No one ever seemed to get arrested after these particular murders, the government were more concerned with keeping themselves safe than anything else. They still were. 

Eren had been working with his father when they'd found the corpses of her parents. One solo expedition later and Eren had somehow managed to track her down, found her tied up in an empty house not far off from the original scene of murder. 

His intuition had told him that _killing_  Mikasa had never been their intention. 

Eren had no qualms about slipping a knife between the ribs of the first kidnapper.

Granted he'd almost got himself killed after that and he had witnessed that day first hand what a half blood was capable of as Mikasa finally took the initiative to take down Eren's attacker.

Eren had given her his scarf.

They'd taken her in and they'd been nigh on inseparable after that.

Eren wasn't overly keen into exploring the memories in sharper detail.

"This world is beautiful, but also very cruel, nothing's ever going to go your way, Eren. There isn't going to be a day that you can feel completely at peace because that simply isn't how life works. So you keep fighting. You taught me that; keep fighting. Because if you don't then how will you get to witness the good things?"

Eren would have answered but the door suddenly flew open and crashed against the wall, hinges groaning in protest as Marco and Jean stumbled into the room, Jean met Eren's eyes and the panic he relayed through golden irises in that one look had Eren jumping to his feet just as Mikasa did the same, the four of them backing out of the room hurriedly,

"What is it? What's  _wrong?_ " He urged, highly tempted to grab Jean and shake him by the shoulders,

"It's- It's Armin."

"What  _about_ him?" Somehow he knew that's what it'd be. Who else? Mikasa looked to Marco,

"The t-turning, it's gone wrong." Marco answered first, face pale with panic.

The world seemed to drop from below Eren's feet as the reality of this hit him, "He went through with it without telling us?" Eren very near bellowed, the only thing stopping him from attacking something was Mikasa's hand on his shoulder, "H-How? I don't  _understand_ we were in there for half an hour tops! I don't- I don't-" The rush of adrenaline gave everything a spiky clarity that made his head spin and eyes hurt. 

"The turning is a quick procedure, Eren! One bite, an exchange of blood and that's it, Armin left about half an hour ago to meet Commander Erwin with a couple others from different squads we escorted him there ourselves but then something went wrong-" Marco was cut off by Jean who looked to have regained some of his composure, if anything he looked just as angry as Eren did,

"So we came here to get you two." he spat

The implications of that twisted inside Eren a little, Marco and Jean had come to get Mikasa and Eren, if it wasn't for the circumstances Eren might have even been touched. But he wasn't. He was furious. Because the world wasn't beautiful. It was just cruel and lonely and terrifyingly vast and at the same time so very small. 

His voice didn't even waver as he asked the next question. It copied a deathly calm to rival their Captain's, "Where is he?"

"Med-station- Eren! Wait!" But Eren was already running, the previous night's injuries protests dulled out by the roaring of emotion in his ears, he was running down the stairs taking them two at a time, swinging himself around the banister and out the already open front door. The cold must've hit him as he stepped out but he didn't feel it, the med-station was too far away and the snow too deep for Eren to keep it up. He was sure people were shouting behind him, he needed to outrun them. 

He was on four legs before he'd even given himself permission to Shift, running was faster, much faster. 

People were cocking guns at him but somewhere in the back of Eren's tumultuous mind he heard a sharp, familiar voice give the order to stand at ease.

Armin couldn't be dead. Armin couldn't be dead. That couldn't happen, Eren refused it. Armin wouldn't leave him behind, not after all they've been through, he wouldn't leave him behind.

Armin couldn't be dead.

Eren didn't want to be left alone.

Not again.

He didn't want to lose his family again.

A crowd had gathered around the med station and as soon as the Shifter came into sight, said crowd quickly dispersed into a surprised scattering. No longer needing a Shifted form Eren shifted out, halfway surprised that his body complied against the onrush of emotions. 

On two feet he was thankful the wolf had scared away the crowd, that meant he could easily push his way forward.

The med station comprised of a main building and an outer tent filled with supplies and stretchers. On the first stretcher, surrounded by older officers, Hanji and Commander Smith lay Armin Arlert. He friend's blonde hair was fanned out around his shoulders, red liquid sticking some of it together. Eren stumbled to a slow halt, the officers warily staring at him, Hanji was the first to approach, hands outstretched, trying to coax him into peace,

"Eren...Armin's in a very critical condition right now, I need you to be-"

All Eren could hear was 'Critical Condition' all Eren could see was Armin's pale face and blood stained neck and all he could smell was death. 

His eyes locked on to Erwin's, the Commander's eyes were filled with an odd mixture of emotions, guilt, sympathy and something else, something he couldn't put his finger on.

Suddenly Eren knew where to direct his anger.

"You-! You forced him to do this, you forced him!" Eren surged forward, growling as a strong arm caught him around his middle, preventing him from diving forward. Some of the soldiers stepped back in shock as Eren continued trying to tear his way forward, fingernails digging into the arm around his torso, drawing blood and causing the place to smell worse.

His ears were ringing, heart racing, people were pointing guns at him again.

Good! Let them fucking shoot! 

"Give me a reason! Give me a fucking reason-!" Eren was well aware that he was screaming at the top of his lungs, that he was terrifying people with carnal fury and the only thing holding him back was the man stood behind him.

"Eren, I didn't force Arlert to do anything. You need to calm down and understand-"

"Erwin." The man holding him back spoke and Erwin stopped, looking over Eren's shoulder. Eren's fingernails ripped further into the man as he tried to physically claw his way forward but the grip remained tight.

Next thing he knew he was being bodily wrestled through the tent and into the inner building. He would've fought more except the fight was slowly draining out of him, being replaced by nothing, a hollow feeling leaving him floating in his own mind. 

The door shut loudly and Eren was finally released. 

He stayed where he was.

What was he thinking anyway, Erwin wasn't the one at fault here.

If anything  _he_ was. Eren was the one to blame.

He stared blankly forward and waited for the other man to do something.

"You really pulled a number out there, that was fucking unacceptable."

Levi paced back and forth, rubbing at his arm as it began to scab up, blood drying, the supernatural healing already taking effect. Eren barely flinched as Levi knocked him into the wall, pinning him with a forearm against his neck.

"People think you're dangerous, Jaeger. They're waiting for an excuse to put you down and you may well have just offered one up on a shitting silver platter." Levi snarled, digging the arm in further and Eren couldn't really bring himself to retaliate. Not when Armin was out there, dying. 

He bowed his head, closing his eyes and allowing Levi to simply support him with that arm, Eren parted dry lips and took a small, shaky breath, "Is he going to die?"

The pause between question and answer was painstakingly long,

"I don't know, Eren."

The arm was taken away and Eren would've fallen forward if not for Levi there to catch him. He tried to steady himself and pull away but Levi wouldn't let him, catching Eren's face with his hands on either cheek and forcing him to stare forward, "Remember what you promised me, Eren."

Eren tried to look away but Levi kept his grip steadfast, "You can't die, remember what you promised."

And that hollow, haunted look that Levi carried with him suddenly made sense. 

It was the same as Eren's was.

The words that left Eren's lips made an odd echo around the empty hallway, "Who died?"

Levi froze up, letting go of Eren and taking an abrupt step back, at first Eren was almost positive he wasn't going to get a reply but then he did and he almost wished he hadn't.

"Everyone."

There was a long stretch of silence,

Eren had no clue what he was doing, but he couldn't stare into those eyes anymore that had shown a glimmer of emotion but then closed up once again. He couldn't take the mask anymore, his emotions were on the blink but what he was doing, balling his fingers into Levi's jacket and pulling the man forward to crush their lips together made perfect sense.

Levi didn't reciprocate at first, waves of shock rolling off of him before the arms at his sides slowly raised to rest on Eren's hips and he groaned very lightly against the kiss, finally also moving lips in tandem, stroking his hands up and down Eren's sides. 

Eren pulled back first, cheeks flushed red. 

"T-Take that as another promise, sir, one I fully intend to keep." He leaned down just slightly to plant another kiss on Levi's forehead, "I won't die if you don't."

Levi stared up at him, silver eyes closing briefly as he sighed, seeming to resign himself to it,

"You little shit." Levi finally huffed, meeting Eren's eyes and taking a moment before standing to attention and performing the military's signature salute, fist closing over his chest.

Eren tilted his head to the side, frowning slightly, "What are you-"

Levi tutted, rolling his eyes, "Offering up my heart, brat because frankly, I don't trust myself with it. Maybe it'd be better off with you." 

A blush was very heavily building in Eren's cheeks and he pulled Levi (who let out a surprised huff of breath) into a tight embrace.

The expedition was the next day and prospects were foggy for everyone but in that moment as Eren heldd Levi close against his chest, he allowed himself just a few blissful seconds of peace before he'd have to face reality again, horrors,  Armin's health and the consequences of his prior actions. 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is literally just to link this chapter to the next, I apologise if I don't get it up tomorrow.  
> Also, if anyone is interested during Christmas Eve I will be cosplaying Sasha on Omegle you can find me on the freckledsatan tag as well as the generic SnK cosplay tags.  
> Merry Christmas you wonderful people!  
> This fic is slowly becoming my life and I kind of adore it, I hope you guys do too.


	13. No Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this super short chapter just to put something in between last chapter's events and the big ones going down next chapter which was what last chapter was meant to be but I felt it needed something more. 
> 
> Officially back from hiatus guys, really sorry for the wait.

"I kissed Levi. It was a little shitty and I wasn't really thinking- Fuck, I'm  _still_ not thinking straight. You'd be better at this than me, you're better with people. Levi's a fucking brick wall half the time I don't know what he's going to do. But there's...There's  _something_ there. Not sure what that something is but it makes me feel sick. It's a good kind of sick, though it makes me feel... _Fuck, it makes me feel more Human than I have in years._ I wish you would wake up and tell me what to do, Armin. I wish I hadn't dragged you into this, I wish-" He cut himself off with a choked sob, squeezing Armin's hand in his. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

 The sounds of Armin's very faint breathing and heartbeat were Eren's only comfort in the darkening room. They'd set him up in a clean dorm, had done what they could for him. Hanji had been particularly helpful, busying herself about the place with a grim expression that didn't suit her usually jovial features. But said grim features spoke for themselves. Same as Erwin's, same as Levi's. Armin wasn't going to make it. The turning hadn't worked and though sometimes people were still able to recover some weren't so lucky. It had taken much convincing to allow some time alone with his best friend but the fact that they'd allowed it spoke volumes for Armin's state of health. 

He wasn't going to make it.

Eren had fucked up.

Eren had fucked up so hard that one of the remaining members of his family was going to die.

Armin's eyelids fluttered and Eren held his breath, rubbing a thumb over his friend's hand. He looked so fragile laying there, blonde hair fanned out around his head like some sort of halo. Armin simply sighed and fell still once more. 

It was growing dark outside and Eren was well aware of the state he was in. They had to be up early tomorrow for the Recon Mission. The one that had been sprung on Levi with no prior warning. Erwin was up to something; a blind man could tell that much for certain. Half of Eren wondered if it was about the murders or about Levi's disappearance all those weeks ago. The other half didn't care. The other half wanted to bury its head in the sand and pretend it didn't exist. 

What would his mother say were she around?

Probably scold him for not doing anything. Sitting around while his friend was dying. 

Two sharp knocks on the door had him sighing as he called a soft, "Come in." his voice sounded awful and raw from a mixture of shouting and crying. Expecting Mikasa he was taken aback when Erwin Smith stepped into the room, door closely with a soft click behind him. Hastily Eren scrambled up, performing a salute.

"S-Sir."

Erwin raised a hand. shaking his head with a soft smile, "At ease, Eren. I came to see how he is."

Eren nodded sheepishly, past events spiralling around in his head as he slumped back down into his chair next to Armin's bed. He'd not had the chance to speak to the Commander since finding out Armin's condition and being herded off by Levi. The rest of the day had slouched by in a slow, yet sickening blur. Mikasa had held him against her chest after she had found out and Eren found himself with not even the strength to deny her that. Levi had kept close watch on them all and left understandingly when Eren admitted to needing some alone time with Armin. 

He'd shouted at Erwin, screamed and threatened him. He was surprised he hadn't been court marshalled yet. He was already labelled a loose cannon. 

"Actually, I also came to talk to you." Erwin corrected himself, pulling up a chair from under a desk and sitting down opposite Eren on the other side of the bed. 

Eren, unsure of how to react gave a mute nod in reply. Bracing himself for whatever the man might say. Erwin was a clever man, tricky and clever. The kind that could read you like a book with a single glance your way and frankly it unnerved Eren. However, Erwin made a good leader, strong, firm. Willing to make personal sacrifices in order to achieve what his predecessors could not; respect from his men. The way Erwin stared, those piercing blue eyes boring into Eren's, Eren felt like a rabbit set before a wolf.

Erwin took a deep breath, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his thighs. 

"How much do you know of the serial killings, Eren?"

Oh.

That wasn't what Eren had expected.

"Only what the public are allowed to know, sir."

Erwin studied Eren's face for a good while before inclining his head slightly and flashing a small, somewhat sympathetic smile and spoke with a sincerity that almost surprised Eren, "I'm truly sorry about Armin, he's a good man." Erwin lowered his eyes to Armin's sleeping face, "He's already showing signs of being an incredible strategist. Levi had nothing but good things to say about him and that really _is_ something. Don't lose hope, Eren. I've seen people pull through this before. A rare few, but a few all the same."

They shared a respectful silence. 

"About earlier-" Eren started, only to have Erwin shake his head.

"I know what you're going to say. There's no need to apologise or make excuses. Levi has informed me that men have attacked you, is that true?"

Eren furrowed his brow, taking a minute before nodding his head warily.

"Then I shall excuse your behaviour from earlier. You allowed emotions to guide your actions and you should know better, especially after being victim of attack from others doing the same. But this once, I'll let it slide. I trust you won't make me regret it."

"No sir, thank you sir." Eren managed to stammer out, getting to his feet the same time that Erwin did, chair scraping backwards over the wooden floor. Erwin inclined his head just so, studying Armin's pale face for a short time before letting out a breath and gesturing for Eren to leave the room along with him. Eren complied, nervously walking out the door as Erwin opened it for him. 

Making to leave down the corridor, ebbing sunlight illuminating the floor and walls in an orange glow that looked nothing but sickly through Eren's eyes. His arm was caught by the Commander, holding him in place and Eren halted, heart pounding audibly in his chest as Erwin leaned in, lips mere inches from Eren's ear. 

"Keep your eyes open, Eren. Not all is as it seems."

and with that cryptic little message, Erwin skirted around him and strode down the long corridor, leaving Eren staring in confused silence at the retreating back of Erwin Smith. 

The orange glow of the setting soon soon disappeared, his only source of light that remained were candles flickering in and out, casting shadows that grew and shrunk at the bat of an eyelid. Still, Eren stood, leaning his back against the cool wood of the closed door. He fumbled with Erwin's comment in his mind. 'Not all is as it seems'. Armin and he had often joked of how the Commander seemed to know of things no one else had even considered. They were always two chapters behind him. 

Perhaps Armin hadn't been joking. 

He allowed himself to slide down the door, drawing his knees to his chest and pursing his lips tightly, a frown marring his expression. Somewhere in his head he was aware of the passing time but he had too much to consider. Sleep wouldn't find him even if he wished it to so there was little point in straying from the building. Could Erwin have meant Levi? Keeping information from him seemed to be something Erwin had done a couple of times. There was also the matter of Levi's stint in the forests, Levi not drinking blood. 

The serial killings. The horrors. 

Maybe it was all linked?

He let out a little groan of frustration, balling a hand in his hair. Because he  _didn't know._ And there was no way he could know for certain even if he  _was_ on to something. 

He would just have to let things run their course, do his best in the mean time and follow Erwin's message. He'd keep his eyes open. He was tired of being in the dark. If he wasn't so fucking slow maybe he'd have figured something out. Why had his father given him this curse?

The thought hit him like a stray bullet. It wasn't one he hadn't thought about before but it hurt to think about it right then. 

Over his knees, he buried his head in his arms, gritting his teeth and fighting against tears. He cried too much. He needed to stay strong. Sniffing against them, he only noticed someone had walked into the corridor once they sat next to him, and he glanced over to them, tears somewhat blurring his vision he opened his mouth to say something but choked on his words, angrily he wiped at the tears on his face, stopped suddenly by Levi putting an arm around his shoulders and tugging Eren into him and holding him tightly. 

No words were exchanged.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the hiatus.  
> So sorry.  
> I just put it off for like three months.  
> Oh god I am the actual worst.
> 
> Next one will be up soon.


	14. Things Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a year. An entire goddamn year. 
> 
> This update is going to surprise a couple of people, I'm sure.   
> This chapter had always been written and ready.   
> I might pick this old thing up again.   
> I've missed it.

"Ready?" Levi's eyes pierced through Eren's and he nodded his head with a determination and fire that hadn't been there in a long time. He was ready. Ready to sink his teeth into some horrors. To claim a vengeance that he deserved. He turned to face the gate, looming ahead of them, wooden and gloomy. The entire town was always so gloomy, lingering mists from the early morn still somewhat marring their vision.

Around him stood his squad, Mikasa at his right, Levi at his left. Erwin was heading this particular mission, leaving the remaining two captains; Mike and Nanaba to prepare suitable places for the horrors they were hoping to capture to stay, this mission was to be a dangerous one. The horrors were vile, unpredictable things, it was why they needed to ensure they'd have plenty of healthy soldiers to throw at the horrors to keep them restrained once within the walls. Every man and woman around stared, stone faced and silent to the exit, awaiting Erwin's commands. 

 He was getting an opportunity to prove himself here. He looked to the grim faces of his squad. This was their first mission beyond the wall, overall there weren't many soldiers going. Maybe about fifty at most. Twelve of which were this squad; Levi's squad. Including Levi himself. Eren had no particular formal training in combat besides what had been briefly taught to him.

Mikasa on the other hand was another case entirely, during their years alone Mikasa had focussed her abilities on getting money for them through whatever means. She disliked stealing and so had Armin so she had volunteered to pick up jobs where she could. Their lives had been rough ones. She'd had to learn to defend herself, being a half blood, she already had a marginal upper hand on human men. She had become toned and confident in her movements over the years. Eren hated to admit it but the military life suited her well. That familiar red scarf wrapped securely around her neck, accompanying the black jacket of the uniform, dark hair framing her face. She caught his eye, lips turning up in a small smile reserved only for him, one laced with years of sadness but no regrets. A pang of guilt wove its way down his body and he turned once more to face forward. 

A hand scuffed his head from behind and he turned just in time to see Marco give him a quick, reassuring smile, Jean looked bored but Eren could see past that. Bastard was scared, hell, most of them were. Eren was almost positive he was one of the only ones within the squad to have left the wall recently and entered into uncontrolled combat with the creatures. Though theoretically they all knew what to expect, Eren was the only one with actual experience. Perhaps it made up for his lack of training. He hoped so. He really did. 

He had to be enough, he had to trust in his abilities. 

He hadn't had friends in years, even before the attack on the town he'd found it hard to make friends. He was hotheaded at best, estranged. Armin had been a fast friend from the moment they'd met. His absence now was still a raw wound within Eren's chest but the point was, these people he'd met, his squad. He didn't want to lose them, he didn't want any of them to die. But he supposed that in itself was a useless thought. Soldiers were disposable, it was required of them that they served their duty whether it cost them their lives or not. He may not have known all of them for as long as he'd have liked to yet but he knew enough to understand they were all in the same position. Same skill level. Same hardened determination to bring about peace even if it killed them.

Shifting from foot to foot they all waited for Erwin to make a move, he was still up ahead, discussing strategy with Hanji and Mike. Levi had only just really returned from it all, having heard what he needed to. Now studying Levi's face, he found himself thinking about the previous night. They hadn't really said much to each other and Eren couldn't find it within himself to complain. Silence is probably what he had needed. Words were messy and he'd never been particularly eloquent. Voicing his concerns would only bring more problems and something about Erwin's cryptic message seemed resoundingly private. He trusted Levi. That thought in itself was a special one. Trust was a rare thing, shaky and unforgiving when broken. It was so easily moulded and so easily torn. But also for some reason incredibly important. He trusted Levi with more than his own life, he trusted Levi with his thoughts and feelings, with Mikasa and the rest of the squad. 

On that thought, he properly turned to the man, who returned the stare with a minuscule tilt of his head.

"Do I Shift now or only if we're under attack?" Eren had already discussed with with him and Levi had only responded with, 

"Your call." 

"But the other soldiers-"

"All know what you are and what you're capable of. So do you. Would you feel better equipped with your sword or in the Shifted form?"

"I-"

"It's your call, kid. But make it quickly because Erwin looks to be around about done with talking to Hanji."

Levi stared at him unwaveringly and something clicked in Eren. Was this a test? He could rationalise it out, wonder the possibilities of a right or wrong answer. To not Shift would leave him bare, to trust in his companions for he certainly couldn't measure up to the combat-wise, even if he was getting pretty good with a sword. But to Shift- he didn't trust his abilities. But perhaps only because he scorned their very existence. To say he didn't trust them wasn't entirely true. He knew what he was capable of in the wolfen form, once Shifted it all became second nature to him, something natural and precise. What he didn't  _trust,_ what he felt uneasy about were the implications behind the Shifting as well as his unwillingness to exercise it and the reasons behind that. In the past, the only reasons he'd ever had to Shift weren't good ones, they'd been bad, uncontrolled situations. 

Still, Levi continued to stare at him and Eren found himself at a loss for words. Eren was a monster, his ability to Shift alienated him. He broke eye contact with Levi to look around him, at his squad. Some were staring resolutely ahead but some returned his gaze with smiles or short nods. Did it really alienate him? Though he had been met with suspicion by some, his squad had all seen him Shift and seemed unaffected by it. They didn't view him any differently or treat him as an outsider. His sword felt clunky on his hip, as if it didn't belong there. These people, they were relying on him to help, to give it his all. It hit him then that his ability here was an  _asset_. Maybe, just maybe if he could learn to exercise it here, it might make him something other than a monster. He trusted Levi. He trusted them all. 

"I'm going to Shift, if that's okay?"

Levi raised his head in appraisal, something in his eyes betraying the otherwise bored expression, "Not bad."

Eren ducked his head in a quick smile. He'd passed the test.

"Everyone back off, Jaeger's gonna Shift and no one wants to be crushed beneath a big ass wolf."

Eren turned to Mikasa, whom had apparently been watching and listening to their short conversation. She had an odd look upon her face, eyes flicking between Levi and himself, "Eren? Are you sure?" 

He nodded his head, fixing a grin on his face as everyone began taking steps away from him, "I got this, Mikasa. Okay?"

"Okay." That odd look remained on her face. It wasn't a bad expression so Eren hung on to that. If he remembered to, he'd have to ask what she had been thinking about after the mission.

He rolled his shoulders, bruises and cuts still twinging, Levi had done a good job in patching him up but without quick healing Eren could only ride it out. At least their pain would be dulled in his Shifted form.

A sudden confidence surged over him. He could do this, he could keep people safe and he could put this form to good use he looked over to Levi for reassurance and got a steady nod of the head from the shorter man, who had a hand lazily balanced on the pommel of one of his swords, making sure everyone was backed up, Eren dug a finger into the healing bite mark on his hand that still remained from his previous Shift. He dug a nail straight in, reopening the scabs, blood welling around his fingertips and before he was quite able to comprehend the pain, the turning took place. 

He was vaguely aware of people gasping around him as he found himself stood on four limbs. He shook out his fur, cocking a head over as a hand rested carefully on his shoulder amidst the fur. Mikasa had reached out her hand, expression guarded but careful. He had no real idea of how to communicate efficiently in this form as he was completely and utterly unpractised. He just hoped his gentle leaning into her hand would be enough of a comfort that he was still  _him._

"You remember the formations we practised. You stay focussed and you stay within the group, wait on  _my_ orders to attack and if met in direct combat, watch your target for aberrant behaviour," Levi addressed them all, still facing forward with his mouth pressed into a thin line, he lowered his voice just so it was barely audible, "We don't want a repeat of last time." Eren had a distinct feeling that comment was meant for him and set his ears back slightly in recognition of it. The captain was right, he  _didn't_ want a repeat of last time. Both of them had almost ended up dead. Still, he'd saved Levi's life and that was something he most decidedly did not regret. 

"That is still the coolest fucking thing I've seen in years." He heard Connie somewhere in the crowd muttering to the amused snorts of Sasha who quipped back, "You've seen something  _cooler?_ " If Connie had a response for that it was cut off by the sudden sound of silence. Erwin had stepped up before everyone and the soldiers had fallen into a respectful hush, Eren could practically taste the anticipation on the air, it felt like a heavy weight of accumulated worry, fear and in some cases a grim excitement. Inherently though, he felt that they trusted in their commander and that thought alone steadied them all.

"Today we leave this wall to become the hunters," Erwin left the last word to hang heavy in the air before he continued, "For too long have we remained hidden and docile. It is time to show these creatures _our_ teeth."

There were murmurs of appreciation in the crowd.

"Through intelligence and determination shall we best them. As you all know, we have in our company a Shifter, an incredibly powerful ally and perhaps the key to reclaiming these blighted lands. If we succeed in our mission of capturing two specimens it could mean a turning point for us all. No more living in fear. No more cowering behind walls and buildings. "

The gates started opening behind him as people cheered their assent, the creaking and groaning of the wood indicating the gates' lack of daily use. With a final crack they were fully open 

 The soldiers all marched on in formation, passing through the gates and out into the open. The sun peeked over the western horizon and Eren couldn't help but stare and reflect upon how much he wished Armin could see this. Only merchants and those with necessary government-approved business could legally leave the wall. It may be for their own good and safety but the cramped city streets and dismal air that hung over their lives was claustrophobic. He and Armin used to discuss when they were little what they would do when they were older. 

"I want to make maps!" Armin had declared at ten years old, blonde hair flicking over his face as he grinned in excitement. 

The memory was raw and left a painful throbbing in Eren's chest. As he padded along with the rest of his company he realised his body language, even in the non-human form must have betrayed his state of mind for Mikasa was casting him worried glances over her shoulder. He raised his head and ears. This was certainly not the time for moping. He needed to be alert and stay focused, he was a soldier after all and people were depending on him. They never knew when the first horror might strike.

Soon enough they had left the short, scarcely used dirt road and were stepping into knee-deep meadow grass. It was a brisk morning, dew upon the ground had frozen, causing their footsteps to crunch and frost to stick to his fur. It felt nice, the air was fresh and clean and Eren inhaled deeply, filling his lungs with it and revelling in whatever short length of peace they had before they were to enter the forest ahead of them. It would've been easier to draw out horrors and fight them in the open but the creatures would never comply to that. They weren't completely mindless, they seemed to have enough sense to measure threats. He'd spoken to Hanji about them during a blood test he'd had to undergo a while back, she'd commented on their increase in strength during the night. Drawing them out in great numbers during cover of darkness would not bode well for the city's defences and in the daytime they would never willingly wander from the forests. They'd gone quiet and wistful then as they had both thought about the big attack on the city. The one that had completely tipped Eren's life on its head.

He felt eyes on him from all around, not that this surprised him all that much. Although most of the soldiers had seen him at one point or another, joining Eren as a comrade and someone not to be feared was different. Shifters were monsters and although it pained him to think of them as 'his kind' he was closer in blood to feral Shifters than he was to humans and by extension most likely closer to horrors too of course, they weren't sure if Shifters and horrors were related in any way, he just knew they were both monstrosities and that was enough for him. He didn't miss the irony of that particular detail.

 

 

 

 


	15. Into the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't get enough of this track: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLE3X6jmAus  
> Enjoy the chapter!  
> And I highly recommend listening to the Silent Hill 2 OST while reading a lot of the darker scenes in this.

It took a while for them to approach the great, looming forest in formation. They were required to remain quiet, officers and captains the only ones with authority to bark occasional commands or speak in hushed voices with one another. But it wasn't the eerie silence that had Eren on edge, hackles raised and claws digging into the moist soil with each step. Instincts battered him from all sides like a barrage of voices, niggling and fearful, once dormant now angry and baying for attention. His animal-tainted nature raring for a piece of control, to be noticed, to be recognized. 

But on the flip of that? Freedom, he felt free. Outside the wall, outside the city. This time a free man, this time accompanied by friends and companions, by family. It was something incredible, so glass-like in nature. Fragile and breakable but precious. So precious. They made him feel human, even in this bestial form. But then his instincts were battering at him again and he ceased his sudden joyous clarity of heart. 

"Alright?" Levi whispered, flanking Eren's side. He twitched an ear and nodded his head once in affirmation. Gazing onwards past the front-line troops and towards the expanse of trees, gnarled and ugly. The last time he'd been here he'd been driven to it by the military, now he was heading willingly into it once more, this time accompanied by the military. Had he mentioned his life was strange? It was always worth a second mention. Apprehension hung heavy in the air like a fog, dizzying and prone to spreading delusion through the soldiers. They'd split into three groups for the most part, two parties were to be used to draw the monsters out and one to capture. He'd be on the capture team, he and the other newbies. The task of drawing the horrors out was a horrendously difficult one. Capture less so, the monsters would be funnelled through, one at a time. They needed no more than two. The probability that this operation would pan out with no casualties was incredibly slim. Some horrors were predictable, would follow a general pattern and rule of more animal tendencies. Others, the aberrants would not. They'd follow their own patterns, not necessarily anymore intelligent but usually with new techniques in fighting and killing, different behavioural tendencies as Hanji had put it. Like the creature with the poison mouth that had bitten him the first day he and Levi had met. 

Then there were the Demons. He just prayed that if they encountered one of those that they'd let him face it, they'd let him do the killing. If he got hurt he could deal with it, if he faced a Demon head on he might stand a chance of survival. The other recruits were talented, incredibly so, but Demons were in a league of their own. 

 _Keep it beating_. 

The thought hit him like a battering ram and he found himself looking to Levi, whom was already waiting to reciprocate his gaze, as if the man had curiously known what Eren had been thinking to himself. A glint of silver in his eyes, a sharp gaze but somehow soft. Eren perked his ears interestedly, worry fleeing his body for now, choosing to lie under the surface quietly. Calmed by the presence next to him as if Levi had single-handedly tamed it with a glance. It stunned Eren then and there as to how they'd ever think this man was capable of murder, capable of killing something Human. When the man had denied himself even controlled human blood. He had a temper, it's true, he had lost, he had loved. Maybe, maybe he'd loved. Levi lowered his gaze again, footsteps falling quietly as they continued their advance, soon to arrive at the foot of the forest. Cogs whirred in Eren's head as he moved forward, the rest of the troops stalwart and grimly stoic. Levi's vehement need for Eren to survive, their connection, the dreams Eren had been having, their first meeting, giving blood, clear liquid in a syringe plunged into a boy's arm, screaming, murders, crying.  

_Not all is as it seems._

He shook his great head, fur flying as he did. He needed to snap out of it, he felt so close to an answer, so close, he could almost touch it. Something, something was nagging at the back of his mind, something...

"Eren?-" Mikasa whispered only to be cut off by the halt of troops and Erwin's raised hand, he gestured for the split of the soldiers into their pre-decided groups. He was on edge once more, canine muscles rippling with tension as Levi stepped in front of them, they'd head into the forest but remain on the outskirts as to ensure the horrors they lured forth wouldn't be tempted back to Trost. They only needed two. Towards the back of the formations there were two carts and heavy chain netting ready to snare a stunned horror. At least the group could take solace in that. The creatures were inhuman but mortal. They bled. They died. The thick undergrowth of the forest was too intense and hard to maneuver to bring the carts in, so it was up to them to do the dirty work, to stun the creatures ready for transport back. Rolling heavy shoulders Eren stood to attention (as well as any oversized dog could) as Levi took over Erwin as head of mission, they'd respond to him now, the other two groups were heading into the dense forest from either side. They'd head separate directions in order to create a sort of blockade to prevent too many of the creatures filtering through. They were also acting as bait. A lot of them would die. 

They knew this. 

But they continued on. 

He knew some of their faces, eaten dinner with them, stood on patrol with them. For a handful maybe this was the last time he'd see them. It was a solemn thought and had him staring around at his own friends and comrades as Levi stood ahead, watching with poised ease as the other soldiers dispersed into the forest, Erwin and Hanji disappearing along with them. There was no promise that his own team mates would be safe but they had each other, they had their camaraderie, they had sharp eyes and sharp wits. Even sharper swords. All three would have to protect them in this mission. 

"Advance forward and follow my lead. Be cautious and on the defensive, remember your training." Levi spoke steadily, icy calm purveying his features. It really did ease the others, his total control of his expression, body, tone of voice. Right down to the way he slowly unsheathed his blades as he led them on. Silver barely making a noise as it was released from its leather sheaths. 

 Though the sun had since risen and beat down upon them in the cold morning, the moment they stepped into the forest it all went dark. It was as though the forest itself was tainted, sick with whatever the horrors carried with them. Not a green stuck through the gloom of the trees, it was all grey, brown and black. Dark and heavy despite the occasional spattering of dappled light through the branches. They paced warily forward, quietly through the twisting roots, fallen branches and brambles littering the ground at their feet. They moved almost silently, some due to Vampiric ability, others just through practised steps and trained movements. After a couple of minutes of slow moving they finally reached the point Levi was content with. Though he hadn't been forewarned about this particular mission he had been on many like it before, he was well-used to the typicality of it and how to go about it the standardized way. Putting theory into practise however, Eren knew just as well, wasn't always as simple. There were far too many things that could go wrong, too many discrepancies to factor in. 

They had no choice really but to stand in silence, noise would attract unwanted attention and none of them could afford an error like that. A handful of the soldiers here weren't in Eren's particular unit and assigned under another Captain but ordered to stay with the younger recruits. Back-up, just in case. Though a tough mission Eren realised this was almost a formal initiation into the military for his team mates, Mikasa and he hadn't had the years of training that they had, they hadn't officially waited for this like the others had. So this was important to them, terrifying, sure, but important nonetheless. 

They waited there for what seemed like ages, Levi not losing his cool even as the other soldiers began to twitch with too-much built up anticipation. Even Eren was leaning from paw to paw nervously. He could hear shouts in the distance, noises far off lost on the ears of others. Shouts, inhuman screams, the crashing of branches, snapping of twigs. He had no way to relay this to Levi without shifting back into his human form, which would no doubt put himself at risk. 

He wouldn't mind so much, put it down to the other soldiers further out having put down a creature or reached a combat situation. 

He wouldn't have paid it heed so much.

If it didn't sound like the snapping and crashing of branches was getting closer.

And closer. 

He growled then, pointing his body in the direction of the oncoming noise, one part a warning to the others, another part pure instinct. It still wasn't quite loud enough for the Vampires to hear yet, let alone the small handful of human soldiers. Levi and the others turned to look at him, worriedly also glancing in the direction he was. 

"Positions. Be ready." Levi barked in a short order, the other troops, now armed, stationing themselves behind Eren (whom was more than happy to be on front line). He heard shouting in the distance, this time louder. Much louder. Everyone else could hear it too, some stepped back a little, others leaned forward. Hearts hammering in their chests, adrenaline pumping through veins as the snapping and crashing got louder. 

And louder.

Until it was upon them. 

A creature crashed out of the undergrowth into their small clearing, a massive, fat hulking horror. Built up with sinewy muscle and thick bone. It stood on massive, trunk-like legs, tiny arms gave way to massive shoulders and a square-like head with several gaping holes torn into its body oozing with black blood, presumably where other soldiers had tackled it. This thing was built for charging, built for brute force. Eren quickly sized the creature up as it did them. 

"It's too big to contain at Trost. Finish it off." Levi whispered, a hand lowered and outstretched at his side, keeping his subordinates from making any sudden movements. It remained there, holding the lot back, waiting for the creature to finish sizing them up and for it to make the first move. Eren ducked his head, tail raised and hackles upright, growling dangerously as the creature spun towards him and tilted its bizarre, misshapen head, opening a long slit in its face to reveal rows of jagged teeth, dripping in more tar-like liquid. Eren barely had time to react as the horror screamed and charged. His comrades scattered in due time but Eren squared his shoulders and took the brunt of the charge, using brute strength to level the horror. As it impacted Eren was racked with tremors from the blow. Clashing of screeching and vicious snarling, he used his shoulder to hold the creature back. Levi was right, the most damage this thing could do was through its strength and charges and boy was it strong. It hissed and screeched as he dug his paws into the ground and it wrestled with him for movement forward. 

The sound of a sword slicing through flesh isn't a pretty one, it isn't one you openly wish to hear. It cuts through your ears just as it cuts through skin, bone and muscle. The creature had stopped screeching, Mikasa on its back, sword buried deep in its neck, soft gurgling sounds were emanating from it as she tore the sword from the half-decapitated neck and brought it cleanly down again, this time finishing the creature off as it head rolled to the floor with a dull thud. Blood fountained from the gaping wound as Mikasa hopped off the creature with a harsh elegance and Eren sidestepped as the horror fell limp to the floor. 

Levi appraised her from behind giving a small nod of support when Mikasa met his eye. The rest of the squad looked on in awe, Sasha vigorously patting Mikasa on the back when they formed rank again. But Mikasa only had eyes for Eren, he opened his mouth and lolled his head proudly, portraying as much of a canine smile as he could. They'd done that, together they'd taken that beast down. Mikasa flashed that small smile of hers and then snapped back to attention. 

The adrenaline-fuelled relief soon vanished and Eren mulled on how many soldiers that thing might have killed before it reached here. 

"The noise will have attracted more of the shits," Levi whispered, eyes penetrating the dark forest with an intense gaze, searching for something in the dark that didn't want to be found, "I don't need to remind you again to be ready."

But nothing came. 

Nothing. 

Not even a breeze whispered through the forest. Everything was silent, so eerily silent. Making the heartbeats and bated breath of his own squad seem piercingly loud. Breath billowing around them in frozen mists. 

Had something gone wrong? They'd been waiting there for too long. Eren had never been in changed form for so long, it tugged at him, had him gliding in and out of self. One part beast one part man, only the longer they waited, the less patient he became. 

He sat heavily on his haunches, ears still pricked and alert, tilting his nose to the air to take in the scents of the forest. The first smells hit him heavily, blood, his team, the disease of the forest like mulched leaves and fetid water. But also something else. Closing his eyes he took in the feel and air around him, something was amiss. More so than before, more so than was usual. Opening his eyes again, he looked to the others, surprisingly Marco was the one to first notice how on edge Eren was, frowning and stepping forward, "Sir?" he tried to capture Levi's attention and the man turned to him, annoyed until Marco gestured to Eren. 

"What is it?" Levi questioned, Mikasa also stepping into Eren's line of sight. 

He couldn't take it anymore, the lack of communication, the constant pulling of a feral nature that was beginning to pain him to deny any longer. He shifted back, reigning in his emotions, neutralizing his features and allowing the change to take place, to feel wobbly back on two feet was something he wasn't used to and Mikasa put a steadying hand on his upper arm as he flexed his fingers. 

"Dangerous move, Jaeger. This better be important." Levi spoke softly but his words weighed heavy. Eren would make it quick.

"We've been waiting for hours now, the mission was never supposed to take this long and something feels- wrong. Just, wrong." 

"Well? How so?" 

"I don't- I don't know." Eren was loathe to admit it but it was true. His fight or flight was tame in comparison to what he had felt while in his wolfen form but it remained nonetheless, an internal struggle as if a mountain was going to drop on him. 

Levi took a resolute step closer, frowning deeply, "You're holding too much back, Eren. You're going to have to let go if you want to recognise your full potential." Eren scoffed at that. Let go? Let go of who he was, let go of what he held so close to his heart? What made him human? No. No way. "Because you're right," Levi continued, "They have taken too long. We've been waiting here far longer than we should have."

He stepped back and began pacing then, all eyes on him. He seemed so sure, so ready. But perhaps just as clueless as the rest. Levi was hard to read, hard to decipher and sharp as broken glass. 

"I can't let go." Eren almost whispered, looking to his feet. Hushed whispers perforated the silence behind him, his team discussing their situation, discussing the risks of what Levi was suggesting. Discussing the risks of unleashing the beast, so to say.

"'Can't.'" Levi huffed a laugh, "Won't." 

"No, I won't. Maybe we should go in and look for them?" Eren was more than happy to scout ahead. 

"And if they're all dead? Surrounded by Demons, you die with them? Leaves the rest of the city without much hope now, doesn't it?" 

"And how in hell is making me more of a monster than I already am going to help them?" Eren shouted into the quiet, whispers ceasing and Levi raising an amused brow. 

"A monster understands other monsters, kid. We don't. We don't understand their patterns, what makes them tick. But maybe, maybe you could. As a human you're tame, but as a caged animal? There is barely a force stronger. If you can't trust me, if you can't trust your own nature, what do you have left?" 

Eren understood then. Levi thought they were in trouble, Levi needed Eren to let go in order to unleash the potential bubbling under the surface. Maybe then they'd stand a chance. If Erwin was still in there, still alive, they'd need to keep it that way. They'd need something strong in order to take down the potential threats. Erwin, Hanji, the other officers and veterans. They were important. It was a hard fact to face but the rest of them were disposable. At the end of the day brute force was front line but the immense minds of the people holding the pieces were what kept the board moving. Without Erwin, without the research they needed to understand the horrors, to understand how they came to be and how to protect against them they'd lose out on years of progress, without those years of progress Trost had little hope left of surviving another wave or attack. 

He became aware of bickering, Levi and Mikasa arguing with one another,

"You can't make him do that!-"

"It will always be his choice, but he needs to decide sooner or later-"

"You rely on him, he's important and I refuse to let him change for your cause-"

"Our 'cause' at the minute is fucking keeping everyone breathing-"

Eren watched them, still torn, as if watching his own conscience warring with itself. Two opposing forces, opposing pros and cons. The bickering perhaps could have gone on a lot longer if they didn't suddenly freeze, the majority of the members behind him also stiffened, suddenly looking up. The human members met his gaze bewilderedly. Levi and Mikasa had also fallen silent, eyes searching in the branches above them. If Eren had fur in this form it would have stood on end when he realised what was going on. Vampires and Half bloods could sense the supernatural. 

There was something in the trees.

It all happened very quickly after that, Levi and Mikasa shouting 'Shift!' simultaneously, the cracking of a large branch above them, the scream of a soldier Eren couldn't name, didn't know, as a long legged horror on all fours landed on him from above, the sound of a wet blade pulling from his stomach. The horror had a tail, a long tail with a spike on the end, almost whip-like in nature. The tail was drenched in blood now. 

Eren still hadn't Shifted. 

"Abberant." He heard Reiner nudging to Annie and Bertholdt. Reiner had made a good call, the soldier nearest to the creature lost her nerve, swinging her sword towards it. The horror, on twisted four legs didn't make a noise, didn't flinch. Simply turned its tail toward her and the blade shot out of it, smaller than Eren had originally thought. Piercing the soldier's shoulder, she screamed, pulling it out immediately. 

The rest of the squad had backed off, Levi taking up front with Mikasa and a couple of other members. He was still silently urging Eren to shift but Eren was too enraptured with what was happening before him. The soldier's shoulder oozed yellow instead of the red blood to be expected, she just kept screaming. 

Screaming and screaming until there was no air left in her lungs, eyes bleeding yellow froth, oozing from every orifice, gargling and choking on her own fluids. The horror simply stood there, swaying on the spot and watching as interestedly as everyone else as the grim scene continued. A couple of soldiers tried to step forward to help their injured comrade, Jean included, only for Levi's sword to block their way. He shook his head, staring onwards. He wasn't watching the convulsing soldier at this point. His eyes held the horror. Assessing it silently. 

_You're immune to most poisons and diseases._

Hanji was half right, he was. Most. Even then he only had half the immunity, he could survive them. For the most part. 

As the soldier fell to her knees and choked out her last breath, blonde hair matting into the ground as she continued to twitch a silent terror fell upon his comrades as the horror turned to them once more, it fired another shot from its tail, straight for Levi. 

His reflexes were quicker. So incredibly fast that Eren thought he had missed it altogether, Levi raising a sword and blocking the bolt, it deflected off his weapon and bounced harmlessly to the ground. He lowered the weapon quickly, silver slicing through air. He looked magnificent, falling back on a skill and efficiency he looked to be born with and that ease in the way he carried himself was evident now as he sped forward, the horror lashed out with its tail only for Levi to duck under it, silver slicing once more through air as it hacked at one of the horror's twisted legs. 

Why not cut off the tail? 

"Why isn't he cutting off the tail?" Eren whispered into their crowd as they prepared themselves to engage the creature. 

"Really, Jaeger? Fucking idiot." Jean hissed, still looking distraughtly at the second fallen soldier. Marco glared at Jean but explained for Eren, "That thing is a poison aberrant, cut off the tail and the thing's still gonna spurt poison everywhere. If anything Captain Levi's making it safer for himself by not cutting it off."

Eren supposed that made sense. 

Annie was the second to engage the horror, with a deadly speed almost, but certainly not quite matching Levi's. Levi almost seemed to be toying with it, hacking at limbs and avoiding danger by a mile. Proud features stained with the black blood of his opponent. The horror was getting confused, distracted by Annie and now Ymir in the mix whilst still receiving blows from Levi. Eren just watched on in awe, they were incredible. So talented. No wonder Levi had survived for three days out in the forest, he was a one man army. 

With their victory inevitable the creature became steadily more sluggish, tail easier and easier to avoid with its opponents lightning reflexes. He understood now, properly for the first time why the Vampires were such an aid to the military. Once upon a time he'd questioned it. Now there was no doubt. Even talented humans in their place would not have quite cut it. Silently the creature seemed to accept its fate. 

By no means was this a good thing. 

The horrors didn't lie on their back, as Levi had said 'There was no force greater than a caged animal', with the last ounces of strength in it, it dove at the prepared squad, Mikasa shoved Eren harshly to the side, the shock of it triggering his Shift stumbling back on four legs. The horror tumbled with the group of soldiers, Levi urging for them to avoid the tail it had turned swiftly into a mess as the creature, still eerily silent swung around at his team. 

They'd scattered again, a few choosing to step back and allow the stronger members to handle it. No use being canon fodder in this situation when they may well be needed later on. The creature thrashed and writhed, renewed strength giving it high speeds and quicker reflexes. Levi dodged between limbs, attempting to reach the head only for the creature to flank him and whip its tail to the side, Levi got lightly clipped, enough to send him stumbling back a few steps. 

Eren didn't know what to do, now back in wolfen form he was struggling not to rush blindly into the fray. There were too many people involved with it now, wrong moves and they'd just end up getting each other killed. 

The horror set its sights on Jean as the Vampire ducked forward, making an attempt of his own to plunge a sword into the horror's brain. Dimly Eren heard Marco's shout, saw the other man stepping in front of Jean as the horror's tail came whipping forwards. It's as if it all went in slow motion, Marco digging his heels into the floor, sword held with two hands protectively in front of Jean as the other barely had time to comprehend what was happening.

The sword on the tail spat forward towards Marco and the others were far too slow to intervene. 

Marco was going to die here. 

Or he would have.

If Levi hadn't got there first. 

The spear-like weapon protruding from the horror's tail buried itself in Levi's thigh, where he'd safely knocked back Marco. In confusion the creature made the mistake of turning around, just long enough for Levi to bury both of his swords into its little head. The horror dropped to the floor, stunned unconscious. 

So did Levi. 

Eren practically  _howled_  scrabbling forward, Levi was shuddering on the ground, lips twisted in a grimace but still seemingly conscious. People had gathered around him, clamouring for their Captain. Marco, shouted at them, urging them to give him space. It was a waiting game now, there was little they could do. Eren was  _shaking_ , whining and yelping as he inspected Levi, ears bent back and tail juddering between his legs like some frightened pup. The group was grim as Marco inspected the wound with careful hands, Levi snapped at him when he went to touch the spear still in his leg. "No- No, don't you fucking dare touch it." Eren knew then that Levi meant the poison coating the weapon may still be lethal. 

They waited and waited but Levi still didn't begin convulsing like the other soldier had. He was in too much pain to register this, eyes clamped shut as he pressed his head back into the floor, injured leg raised slightly at the knee. Yellow liquid was oozing from the wound but Levi was still resolutely alive. Marco had since taken his jacket off, balling it around his hands in order to yank the spear out of Levi's leg. Levi could bleed out from there, could die. But leaving it in there- they didn't know what might happen. At this rate, something worse was always a potential and besides, even if the poison marred the healing capabilities he hadn't yet died, the poison hadn't killed him. There was something more at work here. 

Mikasa put a hand on Marco's arm before he went to pull the spear, "Are you sure?" 

"What else could we do? We need to do  _something_." Marco nodded. Jean was still oddly silent, stood besides a grim-looking Connie and Sasha. There were two soldiers still alive that hadn't been directly involved in their group, one of them was crying, presumably over those lost. The other spoke up, a wind-worn looking man with a dark goatee, "Do it. We're going to have to move him at some point. His wounds might heal, but not with that thing in it." 

Levi looked to be thoroughly out of it, fighting with whatever was infecting his system, occasionally shaking and baring his teeth in agony. The primal side of Eren wanted to snap and bark at anyone touching Levi, causing him pain, but the side of him still capable of logical thought knew that this was what was needed to be done. He padded forward, lying down and placing his large head on Levi's chest. The man's eyes fluttered open a little, still shaking and still in agony, he had to fight it. He had to stay alive. How he was even alive now might have been a miracle if Eren believed in them. 

"Good, Eren, you hold him down. This...This is going to hurt him." Marco stammered out, cloth-covered hands shaking as he took hold of the spear. Reiner had crouched down to hold Levi's lower leg, Jean skirted around to straddle Levi's other leg. Mikasa on his left arm, next to Eren and Ymir and Christa tok his right. 

"On the count of three." Marco piped up. "One....Two..."

"Three."

Marco pulled with all his might, wresting the spear free with a horrific wet noise. Levi thrashed and shouted, held still by his team. He coughed a little in exertion, chest falling and rising erratically as sweat coated his forehead. 

 _Fight it,_ Eren urged internally,  _keep fighting._

His eyes opened, meeting Eren's and he raised a hand, burying it in Eren's fur discreetly at his side. His grip was good, comforting, ensured his survival. Just like old times, Eren thought ruefully. He seemed calmer now the thing was gone from his leg. But pale. 

Marco had discarded the spear, being wrapped up now by Sasha, probably as a gift to Hanji. Might as well make something so dangerous useful. If they survived this. 

Eren's head remained resolutely on Levi's chest, ears still flattened with worry. Trying not to lean into the grip at his side. Jean had ripped into some of his clean undershirt, handing strips to Marco in order to dab at the wound. Flicking his gaze to the side Eren's heart dropped when he realised it was still making no move to heal. 

But- why was he not already dead? How had the poison not killed Levi on the spot like that other soldier. There was so much blood now. So much, though the poison hadn't killed him outright it would do eventually if something wasn't done. 

Tuning out the concerned whispers of his squad mates it hit him. 

He remembered then a warm summer's evening with Armin. 

It was warm, too warm. Practically baking in their dusty little apartment in the worn out areas of the city. At least this place had actual windows. Armin was pouring over a book so no real change there. But Eren was on his toes, restless and whiny. 

"Armin." He'd whined out, much to the blonde's dismay. 

"Yes?" Armin drew out the word, setting his book down and looking to Eren.

"What are you reading about?" Eren dared to ask. Rare for him, really rare. He liked Armin's fascination in everything, admired it, but usually avoided the bombardment of facts and knowledge that Armin had the tendency to enthusiastically spew out when prodded about it. 

"Vampires, Eren. The way they take in blood."

This was it. Eren was doing it. Condemning himself to an hour of factual bombardment. 

At least it would distract him from the heat and boredom. 

"Let's hear it then."

Armin grinned from ear to ear, blue eyes gleaming with delight. 

"Well, Vampires drink blood, right? They get turned by another Vampire, by exchanging blood because from what research can tell Vampires are very heavily reliant on the stuff, it's what makes them  _them._ Fuels them for the extra speed and strength, reflexes and everything in between. In the Military they turn recruits through injection of their own blood either by bite or needle, it's up to the recruit,"

"Mmhm." Eren hummed, sitting cross legged on the floor with his head lazily propped in a hand, prompting Armin to continue. 

"So what I'm researching is typically what Vampires get from blood, the way they absorb all the good things from a person's blood. They've tried it with animals but it's less potent than if it came from a human, still works though. They just- take in all the good things, like a sponge. It's what makes Vampires so interesting. But people have also labelled Vampirism as a disease because it kills the host eventually, if the host doesn't consume blood. Doesn't take in what they essentially need to survive."

Armin had talked for hours longer that night. 

But Eren, knew what he needed to do now. 

They took it in, absorbed the good things, the things they needed. 

_You're immune to most poisons and diseases._

The others hadn't even noticed he'd shifted back to human, hadn't even noticed him kneeling there in human form. They were too busy discussing what to do next. Levi's leg had been tightly bound but blood still coloured the bandages. Levi was still grimacing, still flashing his teeth and ocassionally tensing in pain, he looked up at Eren when the kid started pulling at the sword in the other man's sheath. Confusion colouring his features shortly before once again being consumed by more shocks of pain. Eren talked him through it quietly, "I'm gonna try something, you've got to work with me, alright? It worked last time." Eren hesitantly lifted a hand to Levi's cheek, running his fingers along his skin just as if to reassure himself the man was still there, still alive.

He rolled up a sleeve hurriedly, as Levi huffed in pain, drawing the other man's sword along his exposed arm, the clean cut dribbling with blood. He flattened it to Levi's lips, the blood staining the captain's mouth red. 

"Eren!" Mikasa was shouting, there were people trying to pull him back, Levi had already clamped down on Eren's arm, Mikasa was drawing her sword,   
"No!" He exclaimed, batting them away, "No, just trust me, trust me, please-" 

To his surprise, they did. They released him, Mikasa kneeling carefully at his side, glaring openly at their captain. Eren daren't even grimace as Levi pulled at the blood in his arm, he had no reason to. This was sunshine and roses in comparison as to what Levi had no doubt just been through. 

The man was coherent enough not to take too much, only enough. Putting a gentle hand on Eren's arm as he pushed it back, eyes fluttering open. His cheeks were flushed red, no longer pale. The hand remained on Eren's arm as he breathed in deeply and gratefully, red still flecking his lips. He looked around as if just taking in his surroundings for the first time. Everyone looked shocked to hear the rueful laugh escaping those lips as he moved forward to sit up, Eren on one side and Christa on the other helping to support his weight. 

"Saved by the brat again," He spoke lowly and tiredly, "Am I lucky or unlucky?" 

Eren bit his lip and smiled gratefully, restraining the urge to surge forward and embrace the man in front of everyone, opting to put a hand on Levi's shoulder. An offer of friendship, of camaraderie and a promise that he'd do it again. And again. As many times as needed. 

Marco had stepped back, speaking to Connie, "Eren's blood healed it, stopped the poison?" 

Levi heard, tilting his head towards them, "If this gets out shitty glasses is going to have a fucking field day."

A few people laughed quietly at that, relieved that their captain was still alive. 

Jean stayed particularly quiet but was the first to jump forward when Levi needed a hand up, upon unravelling the bandages on his thigh they saw that it was healing slowly but steadily, no longer lethal nor inherently dangerous to him.

Shifting, Eren allowed them to put Levi on his back. It'd be safer for everyone this way, Eren could still fight if necessary and no one would have to risk themselves in supporting Levi, although if it came to that Eren just knew that the man would refuse outright to be coddled and supported. Stubborn though the man was, he'd do it to protect his team. Eren respected Levi, more so every moment, the more secrets he unravelled of the man the more Levi appealed to him, the more he needed to know. 

"Back up here again," Levi whispered, for Eren's ears only, hands holding his fur. "Thank you." 

Those last two words were quiet. 

So quiet Eren almost missed them. 

He was glad he hadn't. 

But they weren't out of the woods yet, there was still too much danger here and Erwin and Hanji had yet to make their appearance. They had one horror down, several of the squad heavily binding it and securing its tail ready for transport back and ensuring it wouldn't wake up. 

There was still much to learn, secrets to discover about himself. 

And still there was a nagging at the back of his head. 

He was missing something important. 

Something about his blood, something about himself. Something he hadn't thought about in years. 

Shaking his head he stored it for another time. 

For now, they had to prepare themselves for what was next to come. 

Eren couldn't see a happy ending to this mission.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I have you worried for Marco?~
> 
>  
> 
> New tumblr URL - vendetta-gaming.tumblr.com  
> still tracking fic: degrees of innocence  
> Let's officially get this back up and running.


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